sunflower feelings

thank you for the long wait! ♡

SAEYOUNG

"i wonder if they'll like me," saeyoung broke the silence with his low voice as he was driving you to your childhood come with one of his less flashy vehicles. the sun had begun to set, and you were fast approaching the familiar neighborhoods of where you used to live.

"they'll love you," you assured him, reaching out to poke at his thigh.

"ahhhh, but you're supposed to say that!" saeyoung laughed, but his nervousness casted a shade on the otherwise clear sky. "i never had that much luck with parents, you know."

"i know," you leaned back on the seat with a sombre look scathing your eyes. "but that wasn't because of you. they... didn't give you a chance. besides, you're a beautiful, adorkable young man who has done nothing but take care of me all this time. something they would appreciate regardless of if i was gonna marry you or not."

"m-marry? you told them i was your fiance?" saeyoung coughed.

"i didn't, but thank you for your honest reaction," you chuckled.

"that's not it, i was just surprised! i thought you were taking advantage of my moment of weakness to propose to me!" he cackled, albeit flustered.

"i might," you poked his cheek next. "but i wonder if you'll beat me to the punch?"

sayoung turned to kiss your finger, but for some reason he didn't dare to look at the expression you were giving him. "it's just down this road, right?" he changed the subject as he pulled to a familiar path lined with far-apart houses.

and the sun set without you noticing. you spent the long hours of the evening gazing at saeyoung, who you had expected to be wearing the mask of seven. but there was only him, as calm as he was honest, with a smile that shined strong enough to replace thousands of evasive jokes. your parents were engrossed with him.

as you were walking back to your car, your father gave you an approving smile, while your mother suddenly touched saeyoung's shoulder gently. "thank you for taking care of our child. if there's anything you need, please come to us."

saeyoung's eyes poured gold on them as he bowed at them with an enthusiastic smile. "i'll take care of her for the rest of my days, you can count on it. and... thank you. thank you so much."

you waved at your parents as saeyoung steered you back on the road, the corners of his mouth lingering on his sweet smile. "i'll marry you soon," he shifted gears as you stretched your back and leaned against the leathered seat. "i know," you hummed as you reached to sweep a strand of his hair behind his ear. "welcome to the family."

SAERAN

"it's really coming down... isn't it?" saeran gazed at the sky from underneath the jacket he was holding over both of your heads. "is this really okay? i'd rather not meet your parents looking like a wet dog..."

you laughed, wiping teardrops of his face. "maybe they’ll give you a bath," you shrugged. seeing saeran's face suddenly warp in confusion, you shook your head and laughed even harder. "i'm joking! it's going to be all right, trust me."

"you're always easing my mind when i feel like this..." he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you close. "but i don't want to risk them not approving me... i've done enough things to be condemned for... the rain just feels like an omen."

you leaned against him, taking in the smell of the grass, the pavement and the scent of the nearby flowers the rain had hammered out. "it's not an omen, it's purifying rain."

he stayed silent for a while, but then he slowly slid the jacket off his head and let it fall solely on your head instead. he closed his eyes and took in your words, the rain, and the scent of the flowers he all recognized, and felt familiar to. "i'll let it bring salvation then," he spoke softly, "but i wish it wouldn't hurt so much anymore."  

you slid your fingers under his chin, turning him towards your lips and giving him a feathery kiss. he smiled against you, pulling his jacket over your face with a chuckle. “don’t worry, i’m not feeling painful, i promise.”

"goodness!" you heard a muffled, worried voice call out from behind the veil of rain. your parents had pulled up on their car next to you, swinging the doors open. "it's just like kids to just stand around in rain without a worry... we used to be like that too, didn't we?" your mother nudged your father, who scratched the back of his neck at the memories of wilder days.

"you'll get sick if you keep standing there," your mother urged the two of you. saeran felt his confidence drip all over the backseat. he suddenly turned shy, wiping his wet face with his sleeve. your mother reached back and gave him a soft towel. "i see you have valiantly kept her dry with your own jacket. it's good that there are still boys like you to keep the chivarly alive!”

saeran took it with a bow, allowing his confident smile shine amidst the dark clouds. "thank you so much," he thanked her as threw it over his head. "i cherish her very much," he continued. your mother glanced at you through the rearview mirror and grinned. "lucky you!"

"reel it in," your father shook his head from behind the wheel. "you're scaring him off before we've even offered him dinner."

saeran blushed, turning to look at you as if seeking confirmation he wasn't dreaming. you gave him a nod of encouragement, then turned to your mother, who kept gushing towards saeran, retelling stories of her relationship to your father, much to his embarrassment.

the rain eased up towards the night, leaving a sweet, fresh scent hanging in the air as the two of you were dropped off to your stop later that night. your mother reached out of the window to hand saeran the leftovers of the dinner you had gone to. "eat well, saeran. and please, keep smiling like you did today. i can see life hasn’t been fair to you, but a light like yours can surely change that.”

your father gave him a warm wave before turning his head to you, smiling. as they disappeared around the corner of the road, saeran's arms suddenly engulfed you from behind. his face pushed against your shoulder and he released a deep, shaky sigh. "they... liked me? they weren't just humoring you?"

you turned in his arms, hugging him close to you with your hand on his head. "saeran... you've been through too much," you placed a kiss into his hair. "but we're all here to take care of you. and no matter what happens... we're gonna renew our love for each other every year, right?"

ahh thank you so much!! ♡ i don’t know if i have any solid, understandable tips to give, but i can surely tell you a bit how i go about writing if that would hopefully help! ♡ 

i feel it’s impossible for me to write if i have the mindset that i “have to” write, so i usually just listen to a lot of music and soundtracks and watch anime and other things i like to wait for some scenes or sounds to make me feel inspired. like, “oh this scene could’ve been between these two characters” or listen to certain songs or tracks that remind me of a character, and then just try to implement those feelings into what i write!

as for the characterization, the only thing i really consciously try to keep in check for everyone is their speech patterns so they feel like themselves through that. otherwise i also focus a lot on what i find attractive about the characters, and try to write accordingly based on those feelings. for example, i always tend to write jihyun w a bit more attitude, bc i personally enjoy his more assertive scenes during flashbacks or when he’s teasing someone and so on!

thank you for your everlasting patience, i hope this is good for you! ♡

 at first, jihyun had felt he had no possible right to feel jealous. though he had returned to you with a renewed heart, he understood the weight he had placed on you two years ago would’ve been an ordeal for even the titans to carry.

you’d had eyes only for him since the prelude of your path together. your heart had lied dormant awaiting for his, slumbering peacefully and gathering joy and fulfillement to share with him once he returned.

so when jihyun felt the pang of something uncomfortable gnaw at his chest, he naturally leaned towards jumin. “i don’t believe i recognize the man she’s talking to,” he nudged him.

jumin glanced your way and poured himself a glass of sangria jihyun had brought to him from his travels. he’d said it was from a grape tree that grew on a two thousand-year-old volcano. “that’s a potential guest. he’s a young man quite full of himself, so i believe she’s utilizing the tricks i taught her on persuading difficult characters.”

“i see,” jihyun grabbed the glass from jumin, just as his childhood friend was about to take a sip. “pardon me.”

jumin blinked, slowly, his hand hovering as if still holding his drink. “you seem unsettled… is there a problem? heavens, you’re not even savoring the taste—”

“well, i’d hate to be rude…” jihyun placed the emptied glass back into jumin’s hand and began to stride towards you. jumin glared confused daggers against jihyun’s back, as he poured himself yet another drink.

as jihyun arrived at your side, magic started to dance beneath your skin at his warm touch against the small of your back. you could swear he was softly pulling you towards him, but you were still half-clinging to your conversation with yet another man who thought abundance of wealth meant nothing but money. truth be told, you had got stuck in a suffocating conversation that was not going to end with you inloving him with the party.

“and you are?” the man challenged, visibly upset at the sudden interruption to something he thought to be a possibility. jihyun struck his hand forward with a confident smile that hid a strange shroud of doom behind it…

“jihyun kim,” he shook his hand, “the head of this association our cherished coordinator here is taking care of.” jihyun casted an affectionate smile that you absorbed straight to your heart. “it is true our parties are held to help the needy, but not the kind that you seem to be.” he delivered so smoothly, the man barely realized he was getting roasted.

but he was also not used to getting overridden, so he just stood there with a stupefied look as his bodyguards stifled their laughs behind him. as soon as jihyun turned, he felt heat rush to his face as he realized how impulsive and childish he had just been —  he was supposed to be a grown man and your lover for heaven’s sake!

turning to you, ready to release another apology unto you, he suddenly halted. you were grinning, hard, and holding back laughter. “um… what is it?” he frowned.

“that was so cool!” you leaned into his shoulder for support as short bursts of laughter kept escaping you with no control. “and kinda turned me on, i’m not gonna lie….” you heaved between cackles.

“w-what?” he pouted, but couldn’t help but feel his heart swell, hearing your honest cheer for him. “maybe i should apologize, though? i had no valid reason to do something like that…. he just…. forget it, please…”

this struggle is so real!! so sorry for the longest wait ♡

"forgive me, my love," jumin placed his warm fingers against your cheek. "did i do something wrong?"

his eyes glazed over you, patient and soft, waiting for you to sort out whatever it was you needed to tell him. in truth, a premonition about something being off had manifested to him right before handing you the teardrop earrings he’d gotten to you on a whim.

"no... no, it's not that," you shifted, taking his hand in yours and leaning to it. "thank you, these are so beautiful."

"but?" jumin tilted his head, now frowning slightly.

"i can't return these gifts to you. even if i always want to do things for you, it seems like you always beat me to the punch... and then there are certain things i need, but i can't really get because i can't afford them, so gifting you things gets shoved even further away and it's starting to get to me.."

as you thought, jumin caught on quick. he took the earrings from your hands and smiled, as if he knew some secret that you didn't. "i'm sorry that i've made you think i expect compensation," he took one of the earrings and attached it to your ear with careful fingers.

"i-i know you don't expect to, but it makes me feel like a freeloader..." "we're family," jumin countered without a moments hesitation. "you're not just 'crashing' here." he took the other earring and reached towards you, but his touch tickled you, so you giggled and swiped away from him.

he melted, before reaching to you again with a smile as you offered your other ear to him. "you've got some fair points... but you're still not allowed to be this nice to me."

jumin snorted, grabbing your hand and pulling you in. "you forbid it?"

"you've become so humorous..." you leaped against him and successfully headlocked him with a daring laugh. "surrender, or else!"

"or else...?" you heard his muffled doubts somewhere under your arm. "i'm sure we can settle this with a compromise?"

"don't try to butter me up like one of your business partners!" you released him with a laugh.

he laughed, trapping you in a hug. "it seems i've used up all my viable resources... but i am sorry," he kissed your forehead. "i know you've struggled in the past with these things and i didn't mean to override you. but i ask that you would consider allowing me to do these things for you sometimes. whatever you need, it will be yours one way or another. we both help each other with what we have, do we not?"

you sighed, resting your head against his chest and squeezing him. "i hope you would say something very stupid sometime, so i could just not listen to you..."

hello! i’m very sorry it has been so long, and the last thing i said was that i was ready for more requests! i had a falling out of sorts with many things these past months which kind of threw me off mentally, but!! it still wasn’t in my plans to just abandon ship!

i’m back!! there are still requests in my messages that i can’t wait to write out, but i’m also finally ready for more! i hope everyone’s doing good ♡

of course!! i sort of went straight to the heart with this one, but i hope you’ll still enjoy it! here’s part one.

SAERAN

you told him in a hasty blur one blue dawn, regardless of keeping it to yourself for days. trying to shield him from his unhappy memories of family, you’d felt even worse hiding something from him. seeing his empty eyes, fear took root within an anxious heart. 

but that was before a soul-reviving smile shined upon you. he dug into your waist and lifted you up as if you were nothing but a feather. “so, that was it!”

“t-that was it?”

“for a while there, i thought you were going to leave me,” saeran frowned, but his eyes were still filled with light. “so hearing you tell me that instead… i feel like my heart’s about to overflow.”

“i.. i’m so glad to hear you say that. but i wasn’t sure… i mean, you’ve been through so much grief and suffering from your own childhood…”

“mc… i don’t want to think of myself as a ‘poor kid’. i never chose to be like i was, and i didn’t live the way i did because i wanted to. then you came along, and i thought ‘thank goodness, i can still live.’ i want our child to always feel like that.”

the sob that had welled in your chest burst out like you were just a kid with scraped knees. he bent his arms to land your forehead on his. 

“and… i’d be lying if i said i wasn’t anxious about it… but i won’t let those feelings stun me anymore. as long as we’re there with him, he won’t feel alone. i’ll make sure of it.“

“right,” you swallowed the sobs back to your throat and kissed him. “thank you, saeran.”

VANDERWOOD

“what’s eating you?” he’d ask one lazy dusk, sitting on your backyard with your legs crossed over each other.

“what sharp eyes you have,“ you smiled, even though your heart was about to split. you’d found out a couple of days ago, but your mind had been clouded with stories vanderwood had told you of the orphaned children he’d seen on his job.

“i always left… hoping i could’ve done something. but i was in no position to do something like that… even saeyoung. i knew he’d been abandoned the moment i saw him all those years ago. that boy… i just thought ‘this one i can look after’…  and that could’ve ended so bad.”

you hadn’t forgotten the face he’d made. the one that said ‘i still betrayed them.’ but here, under his stern, curious eyes you yielded. “do you remember… when you told me about the orphans and saeyoung? i just, i kept thinking about that and i’ve been struggling so much on how to tell you, i mean—”

“— that you’re pregnant?”

“y-you knew!?”

“i was taking out the trash few days ago and the bag broke. seeing the pregnancy test almost knocked me out.”

“why didn’t you say anything?”

“why didn’t you?“ vanderwood countered, but there were sparks of a smile dancing in his eyes. “i wanted you to tell me when you felt comfortable. either way, what do the orphans have to do with this?”

“i didn’t know if you thought it would be unfair of us to have a child… when there’s so many out there suffering,” you clung to his arm gently, letting your head land on his steady shoulder.

“you overthink things,“ he uttered. “it is a scary thought, bringing someone into this world. but with you it doesn’t seem so bad… i know the kid will be all right. and with us being there to guide him, someday he’ll pay it forward.”

stunned, you could only blink your eyes for a moment. “you have this all figured out, don’t you?”