Diego: My dad taught me to throw knives to make me less gay.

Klaus: I really want to tell a joke, but I only remember the punchline

Five, when Klaus was dancing with Delores in the van:

If klaus could see Ben right after he died and not just when they were older, I wonder if klaus was just sitting at Ben’s funeral looking at Ben like

We truly don’t deserve Justin H. Min

Umbrella Academy writers: *Looking at Klaus* You know what this poor, PTSD-riddled, gay addict needs?

Five: I poisioned someone’s drink, but I forget which one.

Luther: let’s attack Vanya from all angles

klaus:

vanya: my kink is when people actually care about my feelings and what i have to say

Five: i just get a new notebook. What should i put on it?