life’s been so hard recently. sleepless nights, whole body’s aching. The distress I feel from my surroundings are eating me. i’m tired..

tbh, i have a lot of thoughts regarding this. like i can really relate on it LIKE 100% Bojack- a depressed traumatized by his parents, alcoholic. Lol. I was ranting so much on twitter but i don’t really feel like i should let this out publicly where people can see it and see me.

hay, it really is depressing though. it’s like a representation of my own life. i know i still have a lot of years compared to bojack’s. i know it’s not too late, but fuck bro. that ending— it’s like everything you do really won’t change anything in your life. You can have everything, a mansion in hollywoo, MILLIONS of dollars and still end up lonely because you’re a damn alcoholic who always chooses self destructive choices.

and with that family- man, i really relate as fuck. having a mom like that. that treats you like being born ruined her. na it’s my fault that i was born- and the mom raising me broken and i have to live with that fact for the rest of my life. I’ve been trying to ignore how i grew up tbh. I always had the mindset na i am better than this- but what if i’m really just like bojack? What if i’m just really broken and there’s nothing i can do to be genuinely happy without being too needy of love and attention bc i never received that from where i came from, family?