Time To Chill Out

I don’t want to die, I just need help. I don’t know where to start. My life is genuinely okay, I have a good job, a good boyfriend, cute dogs that I could never leave. I get in my head and start telling myself bad things if I do something wrong or get yelled/snapped at. It’s almost an automatic reaction my brain starts going through like a flip book of all the different things around me that I could use to harm myself or end my life. I haven’t self harmed since like high school but I think about it everyday. I know it isn’t the most productive space to be saying these things, it be better said to a therapist but I don’t have one right now. I want to sleep. I have no energy for life. I’m told I’m incredibly lazy for not even wanting to do basic stuff and that I need to get out of my head because that’s all it is. I need to stop making excuses and being a downer. Just be happy right?

Sad. No energy for life. In need of Therapy. And a fat dab.

Google Results: get good bud

Google Search: how to not be a sad person

I want to sleep forever