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Lasagna (with spinach added)

Carrots and onion sautéed in a small bit of olive oil with a pinch of salt, pepper, and red chili flakes. Once sautéed down I added a can of San Marzano tomatoes (crushed in the pan), with a fresh garlic clove, bay leaf, Parmesan rind, and fresh basil then cooked it down. Once done, I added it to my blender with the Italian sausage I had cooked off separately (forgot to get a photo) and blended until even. As for the ricotta, this was fresh ricotta, spinach, Parmesan, one egg, salt, pepper, and garlic powder. Layered the lasagna and topped off with mozzarella and baked at 375 degrees fahrenheit for 40 minutes.

#home chef #line cook #cooking #finding peace #chef #receipe #mythical kitchen #josh scherer #lasagna recipe #lasagna #diep flap reconstruction #double mastectomy #depression #I want to try to be good at something

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Being 6 weeks from my DIEP flap breast reconstruction, I find myself being grateful I’m past the surgery but more angry the recovery has been nothing but an uphill battle. It turns out that my hospital had me moving too soon after surgery causing me to have bruising which caused issues with the abdomen incision closing thus leaving me with a medium size wound. While I can look on the positive side of things and be thankful that I know have some wound care knowledge that is quite valuable, I’m just tired. Being 24 you don’t know many people who understand the things going through your head. The pain (emotional and physically) is never ending.

#post double mastectomy #double mastectomy #diep flap reconstruction #breast reconstruction #pten hamartoma tumor syndrome #pten #previvor #brca1 #brca2 #trying to be positive #trying to heal

Brioche French Toast with a Berry Compote and Madagascar Vanilla Crème

I know the plating and appearance might not look the best -I’m trying to work with what I got- but this dish sure is a sweet breakfast treat to make. Great for special occasions (or any day since you deserve it!).

Brioche French Toast (egg, splash of heavy cream, vanilla, cinnamon, pinch of cardamom)

Berry Compote (blackberries, strawberries, coconut sugar, and juice from a lemon)

Creme (creme fraiche, madagascar vanilla, powdered sugar)

#home cooking #line cook #home chef #finding peace #cooking #receipe #chef #mythical kitchen #josh scherer #the bear #positivity #trying to heal #post double mastectomy #previvor #trying to be positive #french toast #brioche #compote

Butternut & Broccoli Soup

Butternut Squash

Broccoli

Orange Bell Pepper

White Onion

Nutritional Yeast

Olive Oil

Chicken Broth

Salt

White Pepper

Garlic Powder

What could be considered a sad attempt to use old vegetables I had. Wasn’t too bad for a cold day, though I do recommend adding more (or less) nutritional yeast if you prefer it.

#home chef #line cook #cooking #finding peace #chef #josh scherer #mythical kitchen #the bear #fall out boy #cooking at home #cooking attempt #receipe #I want to cook

catboi98253

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Welcome back from the land of the dead.

It had been a while since I last posted here. I initially started with some delusion of grander that I could post the cooking creations I had. Well that went south as soon as I was diagnosed with a breast tumor and then shortly after the PTEN gene mutation. Well, that led to a double mastectomy at the age of 24 and then a few months later, DIEP Flap breast resconsturction (3 weeks post op as of yesterday) that was a kick in the ass. The whole process has been so draining it’s not even funny, it’s made me realize that life is short and that my list of talents are even shorter. I’ve never been good at anything in my life. It never used to hurt me, I’ve always been okay with that since I just want my bills to be paid. But, now as life goes on and everyone seems to be having their “special moments” or finding their calling I realize how pathetic I am.

Here’s to trying to find something in life I’m good at. Here’s to finding the will to live.

#home chef #line cook #finding peace #cooking #PTEN #PTEN Gene Mutation #PTEN Hamartoma Tumor Syndrome #double mastectomy #DIEP Flap Reconstruction #tw depressing thoughts

Another issue, another day.

There is something funny about living that you’ll never be able to name.

There is a constant struggle to breath & live without worry.

(The worry was valid. It was a tumor)

Or, it’s the realization that you’re going to be running the same rat race day in and out.

It’s a realization that you’re only one bad day from trying to off yourself, again. (note: a two bottles of over the counter pain killers won’t do it).

It’s realizing the childhood you had while okay, it was incredibly fucked up in numerous ways. It’s no wonder you’re a fucked up mess.

Every time I have a little a bit of hope, it just crashes down.

#journal #mental heath issues #mental health #mentally tired

Parmesan Risotto with Buffalo (in a sauce I butchered).

|||

today went by fast but the whole plate went off the rails fast and the -poor- plating effort was a last ditch effort. tasted okay though.

#home chef #line cook #chef #finding peace #cooking #mental heath issues

orange and fennel salad.

-fennel

-navel orange

-peppercorns

-sea salt

-buffalo mozzarella

-olive oil

-mint*

It was a strange day. I’ve come to the realization I have no purpose. I overcompensate by trying to pretend I’m okay at something.

*personal addition || recipe based on The Devil Wears Salads, all credit to them.

#home chef #foodpics #cooking #line cook #food #foodie #foodlover #receipe #mental heath issues #depressing life #trying to make friends

Howdy from the center of my brain. I’m someone who is trying to get out of their head and find some crumb of happiness. Which I think I had some resemblance when I cooked so here I am. Nothing cooked here is even remotely professional, it’s just a pipe dream I like to fantasize about. All ramblings are mine and product of a upbringing that was overall the place.

#home chef #line cook #trying #mental heath issues #finding friends #finding peace

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