Hello

Crying cause nothing better to do ✌🏽️

Lost

I don't post on here often but when I do it's because I have no where else to go and nobody to talk to. I'm terrible at keeping friends. I'm horrible communicating and it aggravates people that's why nobody is around me or bothers to get to know me. Too much of a struggle. I have this tendency, to punish myself every time I disappoint someone. I also do it to remind myself that I can feel. Cutting has always been my go to for about six years now. Every time I did it I felt reassured because it was what I deserved and it made me feel something other then sadness. But what do I do when I don't feel the pain anymore to remind me I'm human? I've been emotionally numb for a very long time now, and the pain was the only thing keeping me in reality. With out the pain, I'm just a lost soul. I can't tell people how I feel. The best I can do is to vent to random people on the Internet. It doesn't matter if people read this or not. I just can't hold onto it right now. I need to be free.