madi₊˚⊹⋆˙౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

my mom is in that stage of alcoholism where she is just rude and unfun to be around when she is drunk. she looks at me like she hates me and has a scowl on her face. and i’m not sure what i did wrong. she also drank the rest of my whitney, like i have another bottle but like girl stop taking my stuff. this is why you can’t let an alcoholic know you have stuff in the house. pmo

text my mom about switching to online only classes cause our asses are too broke to afford on campus and she just ignores the text. i’m starting to think she doesn’t even want me to go to lsu and like i’m asked her multiple times about it and she always just like doesnt acknowledge or is like do what is best for. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! i’m confused half of the time cause she like “oh tell your dad about wanting to live on campus, so he can start looking for more jobs” but is also like “living on campus is a lot of money and you are only going ur cause you like the idea of living by yourself and you just wanna be with your friends. this happened in highschool and where is everyone now?” WTF DO YOU WANT FROM ME everything she says contradicts everything and if i say smth about she like “what do you mean it’s confusing, you just aren’t listening to me” i am i just don’t get it. you say do what’s best for me but your always advocating for smth else and idk what i should pick like everything is just confusing

ok i’m feeling tired now finally good night

i’m scared to go out until it’s light out i’m scared something was trying to get in my room so i locked my door

please believe me i not faking i’m being so serious

hiding under the covers thought something was chasing me my fan keeps whispering “kill yourself” over and over again idk what to do

now he stopped

nvm he started again

i think he knows k kniw csuse he just stop

the man keeps walking around in the attic

staying in the bathroom until the sun starts rising so i’m not so scared

also started my period ifk if that’s the reason maybe who knows

i hate when the air goes off it gets so quite i hate it i keep seeing things i need to sleep but i can’t idk why

then again i probably convinced myself that i’m not and i secretly am i’m sorry