Sometimes I swear a lot

I’m at my dog sitting job in a pretty old countryside farm and the lady who does the cleaning up here told me this morning that there are old tunnels (now closed up) running from the house to the church (1km) and I did not want to know that

Imagine what could come from there? Ghouls, ghosts, vampires?

Now, that’s what I call a wizard’s tower!

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a clapping, As of ass cheeks gently clapping, clapping at my chamber door.

“tis a visitor,” i muttered, “dummy thicc, and nothing more”

wow.

reblogging for all of us that grew up in land locked states, then visit the ocean and are used to just plunging into a lake.

concept: instead of hedwig, Harry goes into the pet store and this little snake in the back of the store talks to him, obviously gets his attention more than the other animals, and harry feels sorry for it so he takes it home. Then the snake helps Harry throughout his years at hogwarts as harry carries it wrapped around his hand all like “pssssst, haaarryyy, the dark lord isss coming sss” or just petty shit like “haaaarrryy, now is the time, assskkk out cho chaaannngg”

Third year he eats Scabbers and saves them all a lot of time

LOOK AT HER SHE IS A RAY OF SUNSHINE

theres nothing i hate more than open ended plans like when you talked about doing something with someone but you never officially set it up. is this real like should i request off work……please…. i need structure or ill die 

Sir, that’s my emotional support Anne Hathaway Movie 

“influencer” sounds like a dystopian term