Mind Unlckd

Phase one of bulk cycle so far.

Still chasing this look from the winter.

YOU ARE LYING

its almost interesting to think that i haven't written in so long. its hard for me to write because i only feel compelled to write when I'm angry. i spent a lot of the summer angry as well. its usually in these moments that i find point of breakthrough where I'm like "jesus christ thank god". but i never really got there. the biggest battle I've faced this summer is against my own mind. I've been mad towards ppl i love, best friends, and people i interact with. but it wasn't them who needed to change. it was me. and instead of removing those people from my life, i chose instead to remove myself. i chose to seclude myself and focus on other things. i started to read books more (i buy a good book every week and force myself to read it 2-3 times within the 7 days). one thing i picked up on was mental awareness. focusing on yourself and not at the expense of others. this meant letting go of people i once held strong bonds with. i built with them, loved them, but nows the time to let them go and find others to replace me with. i hold no grudge, its life. but it frees up the chance for me to do the same. so far i have. but everyday is a new struggle. i keep myself busy with books, photography and fitness. I've lost about 15lbs this summer as well. i plan to drop another 10 before the summer ends and i can focus on my winter plans. ill even work through my 23rd birthday. my mind is fixated on it. i want to get the best out of everything. i can no longer fault people for their life decisions. i may be forgotten, but i was once there and happy i was there for the ride. but its come to an end, and a new chapter on life opens, to surround myself around newer people, fresher people. people whom i want to build bonds with. 

Summer was cancelled.

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