ruthlessreed

Alright let’s face it, Gavin ain’t coming back as a muse. This also will most likely be my last message. My life is a hot mess rn I don’t feel like I have any control over it and it’s wearing me down to the point I cannot do basic tasks. That being said, roleplaying isn’t possible for me anymore.

Sure, I’ll miss it. Maybe the motivation will come back which is when I’ll make a new blog. But the thing is, I am uncertain of my future. It’s black when I think about it. So who knows if I’ll even still be here.

I’m not gonna try and sugarcoat it. With the lockdown of the country, the cancelling of psych appointments bc they’re redeemed as unimportant, and having no access to help and being stuck in isolation with an abusive parent. It takes its toll on mental health. Who knows I will survive.. Or might not. Like I said, my future is uncertain. One thing I am certain of, is I want peace. I want peace with myself and the evil voice inside my head to be gone. To experience peacefulness. Quiet. And calm.

How? I’m not sure yet as help isn’t available. I do not wish for your pity. I do not wish for your advice. I know very much I need help but alas that isn’t possible at the moment. I do not wish for you all to worry, if you even care that is.

I’ve been living day by day. Constant anxiety looming in the corner. I get sick of it. Sick of the heart palpitations and feeling of someone sitting on my ribcage, squishing the air out of my lungs. Either way I shouldn’t dump all this on you guys.

Who knows, maybe everything will be fine later? And I’ll be back on this blog? Or it’ll waste away and become forgotten, or even deleted.

Right now, all I want is to rest and have a quiet mind. I will be fine. Do not worry.

I will always be reachable through discord so if any of you want to add me:

Soft sunday meme | Still accepting

Soft sunday | Still accepting

Soft sunday meme | Still accepting

Soft sunday meme | Still accepting

Send in some dirty anons | Still accepting

Gavin squinted at the anon, for a moment he took some time to think about the question. “The fuck should I know?? I don’t think it ever happened.”

Cheesy pick-up lines

That was the exact moment, Gavin accidentally inhaled some coffee, choking on it as he bent over and smacked his chest a few times, coughing until he could clear his throat. It was merely a start to his laughter, letting out short giggles as he tried to stiffle his laughter. God that was.. So cheesy. It was such a bad pick-up line that it ended up being good.

“O-oh my god. Nines, your jokes are killing me. Almost literally.” It seemed that his laughter had calmed down, wiping away the tears that had welled up in the corners of his eyes, letting out a long sigh nefore he was able to face the other again.

Cheesy pick-up lines

To be fair, Gavin wasn’t paying much attention, raising his hand up before catching himself in the act and the words finally seemed to register in his brain. Bringing his hand back to his side, couldn’t believe he almost fell for that. Turning his head to look over at the android, squinting. Did he hear that right? Did he just use a horrible pick up line?

Furrowing his brows, he finally spoke, “... That’s the worst pick-up line I’ve ever heard, Nines.”

But then he thought, maybe this could be amusing? It seemed to be that Gavin was in an alright mood today.

Finish answering asks

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Make Gavin’s ra9 verse