How to Surround Yourself with People Better than Yourself
I'm Jason. I'm one of a growing number of people merging our personal and professional lives. Join the profersonal
Itâs old wisdom: surround yourself with people better than yourself. But how? How do you know that the people youâre putting around you are actually better, and not just richer/smarter/better looking?
Letâs begin by acknowledging that I actually know how to do this. Hereâs proof:
Joni Doolin, Jason Seiden, Amanda Hite, & Scott Stratten (Unmarketing)
Those three other people in the photo? ALL BETTER THAN ME. That there on the left is Joni Doolin, head of People Report and the brains behind Summer Camp. She threw an incredible conference that is the template of the conference Iâd like to throw if I were half as good as she is at throwing them. To the right of me in the photo is Amanda Hite, head of Talent Revolution. Amanda is a leader, true change agent, spotter of great talent, uniter of teams, and doer of great things. She does more for her communities every month that I usually do in a year. Any thought I have, Amanda seems to have had it faster. And you can physically sense the universeâs energy radiating out from her when you sit with her. Finally, the guy in the hat is Scott Stratten, the UnMarketing guy. Sometimes I like to think Iâm a good speaker. Then I see Scott and get reminded what good really is all about.
Now that you know I can do this, hereâs my methodology so you can do this, too:
Let go of judgment. The first step in recognizing talent is recognizing talent! You can only do this if you are able to put aside your own issues and prejudices and see others for who they are. ie, if youâre starving, any chef is a 4 star chef. Youâve got to be able to compensate for your own âschtickâ when assessing others.
Let go of ignorance. Sifting through the self-promoters to get to whatâs real requires that you have some education about the world around you.
Let go of jealousy. If youâre jealous of what theyâve got, youâll feel it, theyâll feel it, and badness will be inevitable.
Let go of need. Needing others is only fractionally better than being jealous of them. Needing people leads you to make demands. Which amps up the awkward and ends painfully.
Let go of labels. Strong people donât need anyone to define a relationship with labels because theyâre able to figure it out on their own. Trying to label a relationship can scare a strong person off. (Not comfortable with ambiguity? Keep that to yourself.)
Let go of doubt. Great people want people around them who are even better then themselves. If you donât believe you belong, you donât belong.
Let go of control. Great people will do things you donât understand and canât explain. Insisting on living in a world you fully understand will keep you from experiencing people who can open you up to new and bigger ideas. Great people approach their worlds with innocence, wonder, and curiosity.
Let go of you. Help the people around you shine brighter. The strong onesâll keep you around and start feeding your gift back to you. (The weak ones will show their true colors by trying to take advantage or assuming malintent on your partâeasy to deal with once youâre prepared for it.)
Let go of work/life distinctions. When the relationship comes first, itâs sometimes difficult to know if itâs going to grow into friendship, business, or both. Especially with great people who jump from idea to idea with ease, and make no distinction between a project that makes money and one done for fun. Be profersonal.
Let go of self-esteem. The thing about surrounding yourself with awesome is, you are always being challenged. Itâs with love and support, but theyâre challenges nonetheless, and you must win, without help, without cheating, without rationalizing. And when you donât win, you must bounce back quickly and confidently because you donât want to fail twice in a row.
Let go of ego. You love that local band? Accept that youâre just one small part of their success, and help them get big anyway. Make it your goal to enjoy next yearâs conversation with that girl who claims she âdiscoveredâ the band on the radio âlast month.â
Let go of negative. Awesome people fix things or laugh about them. They see no third option.
Let go of safe. Surrounding yourself with extraordinary people guarantees one thing: change. Scary, risky, life-altering change. No-more-comfort-zone change. For instance, if I were the worldsâ best matchmaker and we were hanging out, I could find you your true love. When I did, would you be ready? Great people requires us to abandon the safe harbor of our routines.
Did you get it yet? Greatness happens when you let go. Itâs the ultimate âstone soup;â you bring only your true self and all the other ingredients you think you need actually are provided by others when the time comes. It takes an incredible amount of self-confidence and faith to play this gameâbut I never did say it was easy.
Thatâs my recipe. I hope you can make it work for you!
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