rüsh🍦

1. what's wrong with me 2. begged 3. the cure 4. drop dead 5. stupid song 6. less 7. my way 8. u + me = <3 9. maggots for brains 10. expectations 11. honeybee 12. cigarette smoke 13. purple

the emotion is so unreal

my favorite song in the album!!! so freaking good!!!

Her most beautiful song so far!

and the i'm deep in shallow

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Their dance is also satisfying!!!!

dw, I'm backkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

You never stormed out or slammed the door— you just started speaking a little less than before. The distance came dressed like routine and grace, and I kept pretending not to notice the space. You said you’d changed, that you’d settled your past, but healing was never something built to last. You wore promises like polished shoes, shiny at first, but quick to lose. I asked for honesty; you offered charm, As if affection could replace alarm. You fed me lines rehearsed to please, but they unraveled slowly, piece by piece. I held on, not out of trust, but hope, as if the dream of us could somehow cope with all the silences you let grow— the kind that say more than words ever show. You loved me most when I asked for the least, and backed away the moment I ceased to smile through wounds and laugh on cue, like that’s what partners are meant to do. You gave just enough to make me stay, then vanished more with each passing day. It wasn’t dramatic—it wasn’t loud. The collapse was quiet. But it still counts. You called it timing. You called it fate. But love doesn’t leave when it shows up late. It doesn’t vanish when asked to bend— it doesn’t break just to pretend. You said, “You made me better,” then left me worse. That’s not redemption— that’s just rehearsed. And though I don’t miss you the way I did, the memory lingers like something hid. Like a book once loved, too worn to read, yet kept for reasons I’ll never need. No, I won’t rewrite you as more than true— you were not a storm, you were just a wound. Not the love of my life, but a lesson instead: Some people don't leave. They just fade, like thread.

Imaginary Crimes I never touched his spine, But I rewrote every line. Made maps of where to kiss, Then sank into the abyss. A ghost with your face appears— Mouth to my ear, Saying things you never said, But God, I still hear. No proof, no scar, But I’ve wandered too far. Built cathedrals from sighs, Lit the match with my lies. They say it’s harmless, Just tricks of the brain— Then why does his name Feel carved in my veins? I shift in heat-soaked sheets, My pulse skips, then repeats. You visit like a sin I crave, Buried, but still brave. This isn’t love. It isn’t hate. It’s a fever dream That came too late.

Never Said It First I felt you before I knew your face, A quiet pulse I couldn't place. You looked like chaos dressed in calm, Held my gaze and dropped a bomb. You never said it, but I heard, In every half-meant, choking word. I caught the meaning in your breath, The kind of love that flirts with death. Now I spiral in fluorescent light, Staring at walls at 2 a.m. nights. They say I’m fine, I play along— But nothing’s right where you feel wrong. I write your name in folded notes, Then burn them just to watch the smoke. Like if I ruin every trace of “you,” It might undo what I’ve been through. You haunted soft and kissed like fire, A hit, a crash, a slow flat tire. If this was real, then let me drown— Don’t lift me up just to throw me down.

Still I Roam Clouds may blur the skies I seek, yet I stand though I feel weak. Winds may pull and roads may bend, but I am not near the end. Each rejection leaves a scar, yet it maps where lessons are. In the quiet, doubt may creep, but I plant my will too deep. Coins grow thin and hours long, but I hum my inner song. Even when the world feels cold, I hold tight to dreams I mold. One kind word, a fleeting sign, keeps me walking that thin line. Hope may flicker, but it stays— guiding me through shadowed days.

Paths Unknown Steps I take through silent streets, Chasing hopes where shadow meets. Paper dreams and doors stay closed, chapters start yet feel half-posed. Letters sent in quiet prayer, answered not by voices there. Eyes grow tired from screens that gleam, Jobs dissolve like a fading dream. Empty chairs and echoed calls, promised heights, but deeper falls. Still I rise with morning’s grace, wearing strength I can’t replace. Though the world may seem unsure, I press on with heart still pure. Every “no” I learn to bend— This rough road will someday end.

Final Luminance The winds grow still, the echoes cease, fading soft in silent peace. Once we danced in fleeting flame, now mere embers call our name. Time unwound, the thread unspools, shattered glass of golden rules. Tides have turned, the stars burn low, drifting where all endings go. No more locks and no more clocks, no more chains of fleeting talks. Only dust in twilight’s breath, woven deep with life and death. Yet even as the echoes wane, a whisper hums—an old refrain. Not lost, not gone, just set to rest, a fading light, a final crest.