specialty : ice

let me congratulate you for your fantastic taste on characters

also,

come and discuss headcanons with me

plot twin verses with me

come gush about their history and questionable life choices and asshole attitudes and the little quirks that made you fall in love with them with me

I’M NOT HERE TO COMPETE WITH YOU, I’M HERE TO DEVELOP ARCHS AND HAVE FUN WITH THIS CHARACTER THAT WE BOTH LOVE

CONTAINS GRAPHIC LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL REFERENCES

❝You amaze me.❞

❝God forbid I exude confidence and enjoy sex.❞

❝Do you think I relish the fact that I have to act like Mary Sunshine 24/7 so I can be considered a lady?❞

❝I’m the Marsha Fucking Brady of the Upper East Side, and sometimes I want to kill myself!❞

❝So there’s your psychoanalysis, Dr. Freud. Now tell me, are you in…or are you out?❞

❝What shall we toast to?❞

❝Silly rabbit. My triumph isn’t over them. It’s over you.❞

❝You were very much in love with them. You’re still in love with them.❞

❝It amused me to make you ashamed of it.❞

❝You gave up the first person you ever loved because I threatened your reputation.❞

❝Don’t you get it? You’re just a toy. A little toy I like to play with.❞

❝Tastes good.❞

❝So I assume you’ve come here to make arrangements? But unfortunately, I don’t fuck losers.❞

❝Most people are sheep. Who are you to criticize something you’ve never experienced?❞

❝I just don’t think people should experience the act of love until they are in love.❞

❝Are you a lesbian?❞

❝I didn’t meant to offend you. I just picked up on a little bit of that lesbian vibe.❞

❝The only reason I let him keep up the charade is because the man has a mouth like a hoover. Oof!❞

❝This sure doesn’t take like an iced tea.❞

❝Yup. Then I fucked your daughter.❞

❝I’m impressed.❞

❝Well, I’m in love.❞

❝They told me they loved me, and I believed them.❞

❝Would you cut your psycho-babble bullshit!❞

❝There’s pictures of me on the internet!❞

❝My advice is to sleep with as many people as possible.❞

❝But that would make me a slut, wouldn’t it?❞

❝Fucking idiot…❞

❝Well I know this sounds corny, but whenever I feel the temptation of peer pressure, I turn to God and he helps me through the problem.❞

❝I don’t know what I could possibly say that would rectify the harm I’ve caused you.❞

❝The truth of the matter is that being with you was the only time I have ever been happy.❞

❝My whole life has been a joke. I prided myself on taking joy in others’ misery.❞

❝I succeed in hurting the first person I ever loved.❞

❝Please give me another chance. I’m a wreck without you.❞

❝You spend all your time preaching about waiting for love. Well here it is. Right in front of you, and you’re going to turn your back on it.❞

❝But you are going to have to live the rest of your life knowing that you’ve turned your back on love.❞

❝And that makes you a hypocrite. Have a nice life.❞

❝And how are things down under?❞

❝E-mail is for geeks and pedophiles.❞

❝That little wager of yours? Count me in.❞

❝ What are the terms?❞

❝In English? I’ll fuck your brains out.❞

❝Because I’m the only person you can’t have, and it kills you.❞

❝You’ve got yourself a bet, baby!❞

❝Everybody loves me, and I intend to keep it that way.❞

❝Why can’t we be together?❞

❝You wanna know why? Because I don’t trust myself with you.❞

❝You could be a model. It’s too bad you’re not sexy.❞

❝I can be sexy!❞

❝Keep your legs together. This isn’t Jamaica.❞

❝Introduce them to your world of sex, drugs and… what else do you do?❞

❝My God. You are completely pussy-whipped.❞

❝What happened to us?❞

❝You’re in love with them, you don’t love me anymore.❞

❝Hmm, quite the predicament you’re in.❞

❝Well let me tell you something, people don’t change overnight. You and I are two of a kind. At least I have the guts to admit it.❞

❝Not only will you ruin your reputation, you’ll destroy theirs.❞

❝I know how to alleviate menstrual cramps, thank you very much.❞

❝It’s not like you have a husband - unless you’re married to Jesus.❞

❝It’s not you, it’s me…I’m completely fucked up.❞

❝I thought I was in love with you, but it was just a lie.❞

❝I just wanted to see what you were like in bed.❞

❝I wanted it to work, but unfortunately I feel nothing.❞

❝You’re such a coward! Look at yourself!❞

❝Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me! Don’t fucking touch me!❞

❝I can’t stand that holier-than-thou bullshit, and yet, I’m completely infatuated.❞

❝It’s okay. You can laugh. I promise not to tell anyone.❞

❝Okay, let’s try it again only this time I’m gonna stick my tongue in your mouth, and when I do that I want you to massage my tongue with yours. And that’s what first base is.❞

❝They took down my pants and started writing the alphabet with their tongue.❞

❝I’ve been very well-informed of your reputation.❞

❝You promise people the world in order to get them into bed with you.❞

❝Relationships seem too distracting. I’d rather concentrate on my studies.❞

❝Get your ass on the bed and prepare for the fuck of your life!❞

CHAPTER 1: THE RIVER’S EDGE

“i’ve been thinking about us.”

“i’m asking you now if you love me.”

“of course i love you, ____. but i can’t give you the answer you want.”

“one summer can change everything.”

“it’s about following your heart, right?”

“as long as you don’t give up your passion.”

“eventually, there will be a reckoning.”

“that entitlement you wear on your head like a crown? it won’t last.”

“are you scared, ____?”

“don’t freak out. just trust me.”

“i’m breakfast at tiffany’s, but this place is strictly in cold blood.”

“he was looking for the girl next door. instead, he found me.”

“you wanted fire? sorry, _________. my specialty’s ice.”

“just… talk to her. it could go a long way. would have gone a long way with me.” 

“you are so perfect. i’ll never deserve you.”

CHAPTER 2: A TOUCH OF EVIL

“romeo and juliet are the exception, not the rule.”

“once again, fate throws us together.”

“sardonic humour is just my way of relating to the world.”

“what? what are you going to do?”

“i’m not. i want to be. i thought i could be. but it’s too much, too fast.”

“what do you know about it, _____? or about me, even?”

“he wasn’t perfect. but he always tried to do the right thing.”

“sometimes a friend is better than a boyfriend.”

“why don’t we both just do that bro thing where we nod like douches & mutually suppress our emotions?”

“is there something you want to tell me, pal?”

“did you & _______ kill him together?”

“i’m alone.”

“we’re not gonna hug in front of the entire town.”

“it’s like there was a train that was going to the rest of my life. & i just… missed it.”

“it is not my fault he doesn’t like you.”

CHAPTER 3: BODY DOUBLE

"spoken like a true good girl who always follows the rules.”

“i don’t follow rules, i make them. & when necessary, i break them.”

“nothing this bad was ever supposed to happen here.”

“you don’t want to slow down, do you?”

“they have zero remorse for the lives they destroy.”

“does he not know who i am?”

“i’d love to stay. but i gotta shake down an evil adventure scout.”

“not bad.”

“maybe i don’t know _______.”

“you came through for me. in a way no one else ever has before.”

“i would’ve done anything to protect _____.”

“i saw the way you looked at me. … you’re hiding something.”

“maybe we should slow it down a little.”

"she’s right.”

“would i have complete freedom?”

CHAPTER 4: THE LAST PICTURE SHOW

“where did you find all of this?”

“oh, i’m already there!”

“you’re right. i’m selfish, & i’m stupid.”

“make some room, outcasts.”

“what’s next, selling her hair extensions?”

“it’s off-brand & sends a false message about acceptance.”

“shut the hell up, or you’ll find out!”

“i just hate when people disrespect my cinematic experience.”

"i’ll figure it out. i always do.”

“you are not the things you said.” 

“you’re not stupid. this wasn’t your fault.”

“i have a strong inkling.”

“threatened, much?”

“i learned that from the nancy drew detective handbook.”