The amazing spiderui

why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

once you start sleeping with no pants there is no going back

a godless heathen potato

an autobiography 

how many flirt until girlfriend

if u hold down the flirt key while jumping you can unlock girlfriend in about five seconds

if you crouch jump while flirting you can clip through the floor directly to wife

It was a huge disappointment as a child to fall in love with the stars and then find out how much math it requires to get anywhere near them. 

Shoutout to everyone that had a dream career or ideal life but were roadblocked by math.