Warning: dirty gag. Malleus would not say this, but we pretend he would.
đ: "This tastes exquisite, truly. As is with everything you do."
đ: "However, it only lacks a touch of... je ne sais quoi."
đ¸, staring at him. Deep into his soul: "It's a fry, Hornton."
đ¸: "Oh I quit. I'm not going to be your wife anymore. Maybe I'll just become a Vanrouge or a Trappola. At least they'll savor my cooking everyday instead of complaining about its lack of whatever the fuck you just said."
đ, grinning smugly: "Oh you will not."
đ¸: "Confident? And why is that, mister?"
đ: "I have something they don't."
đ¸: "What, a big cock?"
đ: "Ye-- what? No, you foul woman."
đ, even more smug: "I'm beautiful."
She looks at him with dead eyes.
đ¸: "And you think Silver isn't?" <- Ace has been completely discarded
đ: "Hm? Well, he is, but... He's a child. A toddler. He was just born. You would not dare."
đ¸: "He's eighteen. By all accounts he's an adult. You forget the passage of time, ancient relic."
đ: "But it was only yesterday that..."
đ, realizing that he actually has serious competition: "No. No you would NOT. You can NOT."
đ¸: "Oh yes I can."
đ: "I have something else he likely doesn't. Perhaps. No, I'm certain. If I transform."
đ¸: "And what is that? A dragon cock?"
đ: "A big dragon co--"
đ¸: "Shut the fuck up and eat your fries, Draconia."
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synopsis: you forgot to buy pads before your period and text your partner
cw: swearing, corny shit as always, dicks head is only for decoration, modern ish au!, might still be ooc since im getting used to smaus hope its good tho gulp
a/n: get it guys..bloody as in the british term but also blood cuz period? hahaâŚyeah anyways exams done fanfics not done so time to LOCK INNN also silly island dramas in babs i meant those HUMAN tv shows not that fuckass ai slop shit
âËęŠď˝Ą SMAU: would you let me get you pregnant?
featuring: wally west, tim drake, dick grayson, jason todd
content: smau, established relationship, fem!reader, talks of pregnancy (non-serious), potentially sexual themes ??? this is just crack don't mind me
â wally west
â tim drake
â dick grayson
â jason todd
a/n: baby's first SMAU! this is a prompt that has floated around in my brain for a while and i'm honestly kind of shocked that i've never seen it done before (let me know if u have). all the pictures are from pinterest btw. let me know what u think!
likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated <3
Š svnshinefics. all rights reserved. please do not copy/rewrite/repost any of my work onto other sites.Â
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part of me feels so seen by dan's desire to be underestimated and the other part of me is with phil - completely convinced of dan's exceptional capabilities
Summary:Â What happens when Jason stumbles into the wrong apartment after getting injured during patrol? (1.9k) (based on this request)
Tags/warnings:Â mentions of blood and violence
A/N:Â English is not my first language and this was not proofread. Enjoy!
masterlist
Jason had forgotten how much getting stabbed hurts.Â
His previous experiences in this matter hadn't been pleasant â of course not â but his brain had decided to erase some crucial details, such as how invalidating a stab wound can be while trying to climb through a window.Â
Getting hurt on the job is nothing new for Jason. That and his stubbornness make him asking for help a rare sight. Usually he would just go to a safe house and stitch himself up, but tonight, on top of all of the other things that didn't go according to plan, he got stabbed in a particularly hard to reach area, somewhere near his shoulder blade, making any attempt to treat the wound himself futile.Â
Going to any member of his family was out of the question, so, in a blood loss induced haze, he sent Roy a series of pretty vague texts, asking him to open his window and wait for him. Once Jason got at his friend's apartment complex, he immediately spotted an open window. As he kept climbing the fire escape, he found himself hoping Lian was already asleep in her room, and not there to witness his favorite uncle barging in the living room with a bloody shoulder.Â
So here he is, letting out a series of grunts, feeling the cut on his back sting and burn after each of his movements. Once he finally manages to let himself inside the apartment, it takes him an embarrassingly long time to realize that the room doesn't resemble the one where he had spent many nights eating Chinese takeout and watching old action movies.Â
The space feels cozy nonetheless, just in a different way. Despite the abundance of shelf space, there are many books laying around on the floor and covering the coffee table. The room smells clean, probably thanks to the lit candle casting a warm glow on the wall opposite to it. The couch looks strangely comfortable â even though he has slept on enough couches to know that it's probably just an illusion. But the real star of the show is the rug he's currently bleeding on, leaving behind some droplets of blood that will probably be a pain in the ass to get off.Â
Well, shit.
Before Jason even has the time to consider bolting from the apartment, a sound coming from the hallway catches his attention.Â
Despite the source's best efforts to conceal themselves, he's quick enough to catch a glimpse of them and realize the type of mess he has just gotten himself into.Â
"You can come out. I'm not going to hurt you."
Jason knows that his coarse voice is probably not the most trust worthy, but after a second of consideration, you walk out of the hallway, still holding a baseball in you shaky hands.Â
"What are you doing in my apartment?" you ask, tightening your grip on the wooden stick, trying to look menacing. At least you tried, Jason thinks.Â
"Listen, there has been a mistake. I'm currently in the wrong place."
"Clearly," you deadpan, unable to refrain yourself from making a snarky remark.Â
Jason tries to let out an annoyed sigh, but the motion sends a wave of pain to his injured shoulder, making him wince instead.Â
That seems to ease you enough to lower the baseball and getting a better look at the masked man currently standing in your living room and- wait, are those�
"Are those bloodstains on my rug?" you ask, going from sounding scared to deeply annoyed.Â
Before Jason can reply â surely a sarcastic remark about where your priorities lay â he feels himself getting lightheaded. His hand moves to the windowsill, trying to hold himself upright. In a second, he hears the sound of your baseball hitting the floor and sees you approaching him. You take the arm on his uninjured side and place it around your shoulders, slowly leading him to your bathroom.Â
"What happened to you?" you ask him as you help him sit on the lid of your toilet, before turning to your cabinet and taking out what looks like a well equipped first aid kit.Â
"Stab wound. On my back, near my left shoulder."Â
You hum in response, getting closer to him and examining the affected area. By the look on your face, the wound must not look good. You sight, taking a moment to think about your next move, and probably regretting not making him leave your apartment when you still had the chance.Â
"Alright, can you take off your jacket and the top half of your⌠what is it? A costume?"
Jason's tempted to reply, but the glint in your eyes tells him that you're just teasing him. So instead he shrugs off his leather jacket, needing you help to peel off the part partially covering his wound. When it's time to take off his top, he realizes it will be difficult to do with his helmet still on.Â
You seem to pick up on his internal conflict and just say, "You've just bleed out on my rug. I think I deserve to see your face. I won't tell anyone abut it, picky promise."
He considers it for a moment before taking off his helmet, immediately followed by the top, hissing when the part damp with blood peels off from his wound. Once he's done, he look back at you, finding you looking right back at him with a strange expression on your face.
Turns out the intruder you where about to beat up â or try to â with your baseball is an attractive one. Really attractive.Â
His face has a roughness to it that strangely lulls you in, making you wonder what he went through in his lifetime. His eyes are a beautiful shade of green you had never seen on another human, but only in nature, reminding you of the color of a forest after it has rained. His hair are mostly dark, except a white streak that's currently sticking to his forehead, drenched with sweat. His chest and arms, now on full display, look even more impressive than they had underneath the layer of tactical gear. You spot a bunch of scars, some more healed than other, running all over his skin, and you have the strange desire to run your fingers all over them.Â
"Should I turn around a bit? So you have better access to the wound."
Jason's voice brings you back to reality, reminding you of the situation you're currently in.
"Oh, yeah, right," you mumble, busying yourself with a pair of sterile gloves, desperately trying to avoid eye contact. He just barged into your apartment with a stab wound and wearing tactical gear, for fuck's sake. Get it together!Â
After pouring some disinfectant of a clean gauze pad, you take a step closer to him, hoping the injury is not as serious as it seems.Â
"It's going to sting," you whisper for no reason at all. Maybe not to disrupt the comfortable silence that has fallen between the two of you.Â
The proximity makes it possible for Jason to smell the fruity scent of your shampoo, and he feels like a creep for noticing. Get it together, man!Â
"Don't think it'll hurt more than being stabbed did," he mumbles back, but he quickly has to bite the inside of his cheek to silence the pained groan that was about to escape from his lips as soon as the disinfectant made contact with his wound.Â
"So," you begin as you keep cleaning the area, noticing that thankfully the wound it not as deep as you previously thought, "earlier you said that you're in the wrong place. What was your actual destination? 'Cause I have a sneaking suspicion it wasn't a hospital."Â
Jason considers lying to you, he really does, but there's something about your gentle touch that makes him want to be honest just for once. You're helping him, after all. He owes you this much.Â
"The destination was my friend's apartment,' he replies after a moment of hesitation. "He was supposed to leave his window open for me."Â
"What is it with your aversion for doors?" you ask, clearly amused by his initial plan. "And why wouldn't you take a quick glance before sneaking into someone's apartment through their window?"Â
Jason doesn't like the fact that you're making some really good points, so he tries to divert. "How the hell was I supposed to know that someone else would leave their window open at the exact same time? Who the hell does that in Gotham?"Â
"People with a busted AC do," you retort, involuntarily applying more pressure while cleaning him up. "And anyway, you've stained my rug."Â
Oh, here we go again. Back to your precious rug.Â
"I said I'm sorry!"
"No, you didn't!"Â
"Well, I am!"Â
A moment passes.Â
"Sorry," you both say at the same time. He just got stabbed, you reason, and you're helping him despite having just met him, Jason reminds himself.Â
"The wound is not as bad as it looked before. I'll secure a clean gauze over it and you should be fine for tonight. But you'll need to get it checked up by a professional."
Your words reassure Jason, but there's a small, irrational part of him that wishes he had an excuse to spend more time with you. It's stupid, he's well aware of that, but he wishes he could give you another reason to keep touching him with such care, to keep you this close to him for just a little longer.Â
Once you're done and he's dressed again â except for his helmet â you finally ask him who's the friend he initially asked for help. When you hear Roy's name, your face lights up, and you can barely hide your amusement when you tell him he's your next door neighbor. He literally missed Roy's apartment by one, singular window.Â
Great. Just great.Â
When Jason looks at his phone, he finds many concerned texts from his friend, and you offer to help him get to his apartment. He's feeling much better now, but he won't pass up the opportunity to linger at your side just a few minutes longer.Â
Roy's immediate reaction when he opens his door is to question Jason, asking him what the hell those texts were supposed to mean. It seemingly takes him a moment to realize you're there as well, and your reply to his silent question is a simple, "Wrong window."Â
Putting together the contents of Jason's previous texts and the embarrassed look on his friend's face, he can't help but laugh at him, earning a glare from Jason and an amused smile from you.Â
"Yeah, okay, keep laughing at me all you want, but I'm the one who got stabbed tonight," he complains, sounding more like a petulant child.Â
Completely ignoring his friend, Roy thanks you for taking care of him, reassuring you that he's got it from here.Â
"Oh, and thank your for watching Lian the other night. You're a lifesaver."Â
"Don't worry about it. I guess I'll see you around. Oh, and tell her I said hi."
And with that you're gone.Â
Once Jason walks into Roy's apartment and the redhead closes the door behind them, he drops on the sofa, careful not to leave behind any blood stains.
"Well, I guess you just met the neighbor I've been trying to set you up with for weeks," Roy comments while sitting next to Jason. "You sure has hell made a strong first impression, let me tell you thatâŚ"Â
A/N: This was the fic! Reblogs and comments are always appreciated, even if it's criticism (as long as it's constructive). I love talking with you angels, so my dms and inbox are always open!
I just thought that writing a fanfic inspired of the tree of life would be great-
âăăťăăăťăăăťăăăťăâ
The creator of Teyvat liked trees.
The old cities of Teyvat would always have a tree in its center where offerings would be made to please the god.
Now, they do the most vulgar offerings on an extravagant statue of an even more extravagant temple.
The creator liked the meaning of trees, for they meant life and death, they meant the different worlds that they created, they meant creation and destruction.
So when they saw a child making an offering of a drawing to them on a tree, they couldnât help but feel excited.
The child was a girl that only asked for food, so you gave her the best mortal food you could think of!
Your excitement of being offered things that were lovely and simple on a tree, your mark as a god, left you eager to see the girl again.
You saw her daily, sometimes she wouldnât even ask you things, she would just talk about her day or pray to you for good health.
However, one day she came with friends, and one of them was injured.
âThey thought that he stole something and punished him for it, but I swear he didnât do it, your grace, so I offer you this fruit so you can heal him, please!
The apple wasnât even put under the tree when the injury of the child was fully gone, and under the tree, some toys appeared to appease the sadness.
The children gasped before bursting into a melodic laugh.
They thanked the creator and left more offerings before leaving to play, bringing some warmth to your heart.
Now more people came to offer you things in the tree and pray to you, some teens even came and played around, telling their problems or taking care of the young ones.
But everything ended when you saw soldiers trying to hurt the children that came running towards the tree for protection.
âWhat nonsense are you even saying!? â A woman screamed while trying to protect the children from the soldiers.
âItâs what Rex Lapis asked, Lady Ningguang, you know it better than everyone.
âBut they are just children, what harm is it!?
âTheir offerings are nothing but an insult to their grace, they arenât even offering it on a statue!
Oh what nonsense they were saying? Did they even know your liking?
You appeared before they could even touch the woman or the children that were protecting the tree.
âWhat is this nonsense? Has Rex Lapis even thought of his actions against me?
The soldiers looked at you with wide eyes as you stepped forward. The children were looking at you in awe as well as the woman whose gaze was in you and not in the soldiers anymore.
âSo, is nobody going to answer? âYou said, referring to the woman.
âRex Lapis has ordered to⌠execute the children that were making offerings to the tree because he found it insulting.
A thunder made its way in the sky.
âIt seems that the archons have forgotten the ancient teachings⌠Now I understand why temples were builtâŚ
âPardon me⌠âThe woman, Ningguang, spoke in a delicate tone. â But the offersâŚ
âIn the past and in Celestia is well know that for me, trees are sacred, so naturally they make offerings in a tree that is planted in the center of the village, even Celestia has one on its center to bring me offerings or to greet me when I visit, after all, I've never desired for extravagant stuff since I don't find it useful.
You looked at one soldier and grabbed his chin.
âTell that to Rex Lapis, and that if he messes with the children or the tree where they make offerings, I will have the pleasure to take his eyes out so he can't even know where the tree is, have I made myself clear?
The soldier stepped back, clearly scared of the divine creator being angry at their god.
âYes, your grace! Excuse us, your grace! âHe said before running away with the other soldiers.
You looked how they left, when they were out sight, the excited scream of the kids took you by surprise.
The girl that first came to offer you stuff for food came running to you and grabbed your hand.
âThank you, your grace! âThe girl smiled fondly at you.
âIt was nothing, Xia. âYou cupped her face sweetly in your hands. My, such a sweet child.
âYour grace? âThe adult woman called you with a certain fear.
You turned to face her, she was shaking a little bit, you wonder if it was because of your presence or the situation.
â...Thank you for protecting the children, Ningguang. âYou sighed. â I truly didn't know that the archons were that foolish.
âNone of us knew that you actually prefer offerings on a tree⌠well, except the children of Liyue, of course.
You laughed at the comment that she made.
âIt's just that the trees symbolise my creations, every leaf is a small creation, a world, then the branch is a galaxy, and the trunk is the whole universe. It represents life and death, creation and destruction, I found them as simple but fascinating, for they can represent what I desire them to represent.
Ningguang slowly nodded. She never thought that trees could have deeper meaning. She supposed that, if you weren't mad at Liyue, she had to plant a big tree in its center, and of course, learn it's symbol for you.
âăăťăăăťăăăťăăăťăâ
Am I obsessed with the symbolism of trees in most religion's? Yes
God! darling (with villain au) meeting noire(is that how you spell it???) but they are teenagers (like 15-17), do you think that noire will act like their big brother or something like that?--
(sorry if it's weird to ask!)
Itâs not a weird ask at all! Iâm definitely down to do platonic/friendship only relationships between the reader and Noire â I want to write some Genshin x Reader stuff, too!! â so feel free to send those over here as well.
The ages you suggested will be perfect for this setup, honestly.
At around seventeen, just barely within armâs reach of eighteen, I can see Noire starting his training as a Fatui agent, more than eager to start climbing up the ranks to earn himself respect and recognition, to make a name for himself and to be taken seriously by others.
At the same time⌠Heâs also starting to feel lonely, wondering if thereâs more to this at times when heâs in the bunkers, surrounded by so many people and yet so far apart from them. This is when he gets an idea he might have a sibling out there. This is when he hasnât met Assistant yet. This is when his heart can still be seen, just peeking out from his sleeves.
So heâll most definitely be a big brother to a younger reader when he comes across the scared thing, hiding from a group who tried to attack them for âimpersonatingâ the All-Creator. As mentioned in the past, heâs not religious so he finds this whole situation baffling. Youâre attacking a kid because they look like the Creator? A kid?? What the fuck is wrong with you all?
Noire will make it clear youâre under his protection and refuses to budge on the matter, telling you that you can always go to âBig Brotherâ for help if someone tries to harass you. Heâll be a sweet older sibling too, wanting to be someone he would have wanted while growing up: Heâll be patient but playful with you, treating you with respect while also willing to step in if he has to. Heâll treat your wounds but teach you how to do it yourself along the way, knowing you need the skills for yourself.
⌠I do feel bad for this iteration, however, since Noire will end up dying trying to protect the reader. Heâs only a teenager, only recently coming to his Vision and training as a Fatui agent. When the Archons or the others come looking for you, thereâs no way heâll stand a change against them if he puts himself between you and them, baring his teeth like a wolf would when defending their cubs.
It wonât stop him from trying, however.
His sacrifice for you is what sticks to your mind the most even when youâre acknowledged as the All-Creator, even when you have the mightiest leaders and richest citizens scrambling for a second chance. Because they werenât there for you when you needed them the most.
No, it was a seventeen-year-old who was patient but playful with you and taught you how to treat your wounds in case he wouldnât be there one day.
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HEY GUYS IM HERE iâm not dead or leaving or anything i promise iâve just been having some issues writing bc of everything going on rn. BUT iâm still here and still writing when I can :D
ANYWAY
one of @chocoenvyâs anons suggested an au and i wanted to do something with it bc i have the condition he mentioned hehe
I have brittle bone disease, and he suggested that when youâre transported to Teyvat, it âfantasy-izesâ any condition you have. So, instead of having brittle bone disease, itâd be like Darling is made of porcelain.
This is VERY self indulgent and probably only applies to me but I thought Iâd post it anyway :]
tw // injury, abuse/assault, broken bones, impostor AU
You had no idea for how long youâd been running. The only thing you knew was that you couldnât stop, no matter how much your legs and back ached.
You honestly had no idea how youâd survived this long, smaller, weaker, more easily hurt than your pursuers. And yet it seemed as if the world itself was trying to protect you, bending to your will to keep you from breaking.
You had no idea what had happened, only that youâd gone to bed one night and woken up in a bed of soft grass with the sun beating down on your face after that. The next thing you knew people were screaming at you, throwing things at you, trying to hurt you. And for someone so easily hurt, you were shocked they were having a hard time.
You had a rare genetic condition called Osteogenesis Imperfecta, brittle bone disease. The blue-gray tint to the whites of your eyes was evidence enough of that, especially when combined with your small size and the bruises currently littered up your limbs. They just appeared on you sometimes for seemingly no reason, so running for your life stumbling over rocks and bushes made you look like youâd been beaten half to death.
Youâd managed to evade them for at least a few hours, resting against a tree hiding in the bushes. As you caught your breath, you couldnât help but notice how the leaves seemed to bend around you to hide you better. You sighed, trying to get your bearings. Why exactly were they trying to hurt you again?
Youâd heard the shock and disbelief in their gasps and mumbling when they first saw you. Why exactly? You had no idea. But you remembered hearing them saying things like, âit canât be,â and âsurely this isnât Them.â
And then theyâd turned on you, accusing you of imitating someone they seemingly worshiped. Arrows pointed in your direction, swords narrowly missed slicing your clothes, and all you could do was run.
You were pulled out of your thoughts when you heard footsteps, and your heart sunk. You didnât dare look for who they belonged to, curling closer into yourself in your little nest of leaves and holding your breath. The sound of the steps slowed, and slowed, and then stopped briefly, like your assailant was surveying their surroundings. You prayed they wouldnât see you.
But the steps picked up again, faster this time and coming closer. Running, in your direction. You tried to stumble to your feet when you realized youâd been spotted, but you were just a second too late. A hand grabbed your shoulder and threw you back to the ground against the tree, your left arm slamming against the treeâs trunk. You wailed, grabbing your arm before a hand gripped your hair and forced you to look up at the person whoâd found you.
You shook in equal parts fear and pain, only able to stare at the man whoâd found you. Blue hair framed his face, one striking eye staring back at you with an immeasurable amount of disgust, the other covered by an eyepatch. A sword clutched in his right hand, pointed directly at your face.
âMy my, for someone brazen enough to pull a stunt like this you sure do look pathetic,â he sneered at you, âI wouldâve thought our elusive impostor wouldâve been able to run faster than that.â
You could only shake your head, struggling against the death grip he had on your hair. âNo, please, Iâm sorry, I didnât do anything wrong, please donât hurt me, please-â you sobbed, cradling your now broken arm to your chest.
The man opened his mouth like he was about to say something before he glanced at your arm and did a double take. He froze there, staring at your arm before his sword clattered to the ground and he released the grip he had on your hair. You took the chance to attempt to escape, trying to run from him before stumbling and crashing to your knees once again on your broken arm. You held the limb closer to you with your back still turned to the man, groaning from the pain. Surely heâd kill you.
But instead, when he moved into your line of sight, he dropped to his knees in front of you. âYour Grace⌠Itâs- really you,â you heard him choke, his own tears mixing with yours on the rocks. The man continued to sob out apologies and begs for forgiveness, and you just froze there, staring at him. Was he trying to play some sort of cruel joke? His tears were all too real for him to be joking. So why had he spared you?
You finally stole a glance away from the man to your arm, and the sight made you feel sick. A long, dark crack had appeared on your arm, deep golden blood seeping from between the edges. The âskinâ was covered in bruises, likely old ones youâd inflicted yourself trying to escape. You could only grace between the man and your mangled arm, horrified.
âPlease,â he pleaded, his face pressed against the ground, âallow me to⌠bring you to a healer, Your Grace- You need a healer, now.â You sat in stunned silence for a moment longer before responding, âItâs not like I can stop you.â
The man seemed to take that as permission, scooping you up in his arms, being careful to keep your injured arm loosely laid against your chest to keep from hurting you more. Before you could question where he was taking you, heâd already taken off, running as fast as he could toward the city, even leaving his sword abandoned on the ground.
Heâd taken you to Barbara, a deaconess at the cityâs church. She had a similar reaction- disbelief and shame evident on her features as she attempted to heal your injured arm. Word seemed to spread fast, because by the time sheâd finished healing you to the best of her ability and then putting a cast on the injury to keep the break from shifting, several people had rushed into the church on their knees.
You were still incredibly disoriented and confused. Being approached by so many people made you flinch, backing up in your seat. You had no idea who these people were, why theyâd attempted to hunt you like an animal, and why they were now begging for forgiveness and groveling at your feet. You were so confused, and scared, and hurt.
Heya! I saw that your asks were open and I wanted to ask if you could do Mc meeting Diavoloâs dad? Like bursting in the castle to tell the prince about their day or their scheduled tea party or some other plan only to find his dad just sitting there. You donât have to do it if you donât want to though. Take care â¤ď¸
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Holy shite I love your work a lot my darling i canât believe you requested
Ooh la and this request of yours is gold like- there is so much to write about. Imagine bursting in the castle and this guy is who is supposed to be asleep or something drinking some tea like 𤨠đľđ¤. Just -yes
Also, my apologies this took so damn long
Mc meeting the demon king for the first time
You just came back from seeing your family in the human world and boi you were excited to go back to see your demons. You had missed the demon brothers, Barbatos and diavolo a lot, and you got some gifts to give them.
You especially missed Diavolo and the tea parties you both had together â who knew that diavolo had a lot of things to tell you, whether it be something that happened during his day or a little story on how the human world was back when he was younger. There were also days where you both donât have tea parties together : the prince only talking about how he never had someone to speak to as a friend, that he is grateful for you. Those were the days where the two of you would have a heart-to-heart conversation, or when you both question everything. There was never a day you have been bored in diavoloâs presence - he was truly an interesting being.
There was a light breeze which left as quickly as it came, making you curse the weather. However, despite the weather being too hot for your liking, you couldnât help but feel your excitement building up. Oh you couldnât wait to see your demons. Taking a turn, you reached an alley: perfect for you to teleport , away from prying eyes.
You chanted the spell under your breath and before you knew it, you were in hell. With your bags and the gifts with you, you made your way to the castle.
The demons around you could tell you were the master of seven, and friends with their prince and his butler, and wondered what the heck were you doing in hell. They knew better than attack you, of course, it would be ridiculous.
The ogling eyes was toned down your excitement a bit, but you managed just fine. All of a sudden, your stomach rumbled loudly. Imma eat i guess you thought. Changing direction, you went straight to a little cafe Beel mentioned before you left, saying something along the lines of the cafe being underrated. Opening the door, you were greeted by the scent of coffee. There were cookies, pasties and pastries on display. I guess Beel was right about this being underrated, it looks frickin tasty you thought, your stomach rumbling again, as if it was agreeing with you.
You went to the counter and one of the baristas came. She was a pretty demoness, to say the least. She had curly raven hair, and her skin a hue of dark blue, and hazel eyes that seemed to glowâor was that your imagination. You luckily stopped yourself from staring too much â it wouldâve been embarazzing for you.
âHello, what would you like today?â She smiled. You didnât know what to order so you asked for the most popular or fan favourite food theyâve got to save yourself. You payed for your food, and sat down on a chair to eat.
The food was amazing, Beel wasnât kidding when he said the food was great, and you didnât realise that you wolfed the food. You left the cafe with a full stomach and continued your way to the castle.
Once you arrived, you couldnât contain yourself, so you ran through the gates of the castle, and made your way inside. You opened the door to the living room that you and the prince normally have tea parties in , and exclaimed âDiavolo guess whoâs back! Its me, and Iâve got some presents forâŚ..â
You stopped talking. Because the man in front of you was not Diavolo.
He was sitting on the couch, drinking tea, before he looked up. His eyes that were molten gold, seemed to have witnessed so much of the world - you were beginning to feel overwhelmed at the amount of power those eyes held. There was a certain glint in them â one that was making you uncomfortable. His hair was a bloody shade of red, gold jewellery adorning his horns. He looked a lot like diavolo, except he wasnât.
You connected the dots and realised that you have come face to face with the Demon King.
âWho are you and how does a mere human being know my son?â His power flooded the room, almost making your knees buckle. You could feel the wrath building up in the room â you were becoming wary.
But you needed to display some manners, of course, he was not like your sins and Diavolo, this man wanted you respect him address him accordingly.
âI am MC, Your Highness,â you answered his first question, bowing down slightly. The Kingâs eyes narrowed slightly : he seemed quite sceptical of you. âHow do you know my son, human?â You knew this man is ancient, and probably despises the human race, and you didnât think at all heâd take kindly to the exchange program. Did that stop you though? Absolutely not.
âLord Diavolo is my friend, Your Highness,â you stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. âI know for a fact that my son doesnât go around making friends â he has a responsibility of being the heir to the throne. So tell me the truth, human, lest you want me give you an eternal punishment,â he calmly said. You, on the other hand, wasnât impressed at all. You were saying half truth of course â he didnât need to know about the exchange program. But seeing that his pupils were practically non existent, and his wings were outstretched, you knew you had to come clean, unless you wanted to be stuck in the dungeons.
âI know the Prince through an exchange program uniting the three realms, Your Highness.â You could not show any fear, though you were quite close to legging it. âAn exchange program,you say? Do tell me more,â his eyes widened â lips curling into an unwelcoming wide smile. You read enough to know that this man was getting ready to pounce on you, yet you complied.
âThe exchange program was made to unite the three realms and to live in harmony and peace with one another, and learning about demons, angels and humans,â you replied, making sure not to look him in the eye. âOh? And it was my son who has made this program? Well it seems that a lot has changed after all.â He seemed to be talking to himself. You were still on high alert, his wings were a sight to look at, but they were still outstretched, and that was dangerous in itself.
âIt also seems my son has forgotten his place as the prince of hell. I canât believe heâs been dilly-dallying with humans.â He sighed dramatically. âI now know that humans have made him soft, and this exchange program? Goodness me, that disgrace of a child has cast shame upon the name of the devils,â he seethed.
You completely zoned out. You could tell he was berating Diavolo even more, but you couldnât stand there and watch while this man was running his mouth. You needed this man to know that respect goes both ways : you earn it and you give it. You did not care that this man was a whole powerful eldritch being , but although your hands were trembling, when did you have any regard for self preservation? MC, you maybe a human, but you are a force to be reckoned with.
âWith all due respect Your Majesty, Lord Diavolo is your son, correct?â You smiled. âExcuse me?â The king sputtering, confused. You dropped your smile. âAnswer the question,â you stated, taking a seat on the single love seat. ââŚYes, he is.â The king furrowed his brows. Humans normally beg for mercy in his presence, why must this human be any different?
âWell then. Why are you calling Diavolo a disgrace?â You looked him in the eye. âIn what way is Diavolo a disgrace?â You asked him â you wanted to see his thought process. âWell, he is affiliated with humans, devil forbid the day he becomes friends with an angel,â he sneered at you, trying to intimidate you. You helped yourself to a cup of tea, knowing that this man will be spewing a whole load of bullshit. âUnfortunately for you, he is.â You smirked, loving the way this sad excuse of a father had a horrified look on his face. However, before a word tumbled out of his mouth, you held up a scone to him. The demon looked quite puzzled, but he took it either way.
âBefore you say anything more, Your Highness, do you like war?â You asked him, sipping on your tea. âPardon?â His eyes were wide â he never answered a question like this before. You narrowed your eyes at him, growing impatient. âYou are not hard of hearing are you? Answer the question.â You inquired. You were not having any regard to your safety at all, but you really needed to show this man his place.
The kingâs face twisted into even more confusion, and there were hints of anger in his eyes. He still couldnât get over the fact that you were asking him questions and making a fool out of himself without even trying. âNo I donât,â he replied carefully. âThen do you not realise that your son is doing a lot to prevent wars in the future, he made an exchange program to protect all his people, and to overcome differences with each other. He has done a lot more than you have, and on top of that, he had to rule hell in place of you. And what were you doing?â You spoke with power, and could tell the king was getting mad.
âWhat were you doing, Your Highness?â You asked again, mocking his title. âI was in the dungeons,â he replied, sitting straight, knowing that saying the truth of him sleeping would sound ridiculous. âWell,â you took a deep breath and continued,âthat does not give an excuse to berate your child, who has been doing everything to rule over hell.â You sighed. With the way the king was staring at you, you knew that you may pass away today.
That didnât stop you from telling the man off. âYou were in the dungeons, sleeping the whole time while diavolo was taking care of hell, while he was improving the devildom, and the day you wake up, you start running your mouth, and disrespecting you son. I expected the king to be sophisticated man, who would praise his sonâs achievements, but I guess I was wrong,â you responded.
A deep rumble was heard, and the king was baring his fangs at you. Quite frankly, you were very disappointed, but your hands were shaking. âWhat is your name, Your Highness?â You inquired. âThat does not concern you,â he hissed in reply. âVery well, Midas, I shall take the honour of teaching you some lessons on respect today.â
The king could feel his patience thinning. How dare they make a fool out of me, he thought. They dare address me as Midas, the name of that greedy fool?! How dare they disrespect me?
You could feel the kings wrath filling the room, and his pride was crumbling. You knew that the brothers do get fed when any demon of any rank gives into their sin, and that in this particular case, a certain cat lover was going to have quite a feast. You waited for the king to calm down, which was not happening at all until you became irritated. âYou are the King of Hell, the most powerful being in here, yet you are being reduced to a mess by a mere human?â You tilted your head slightly, waiting for the king to answer. But alas, he was still seething on his sofa.
The king stared at you with pure unfiltered anger, and just as you were about to speak, the king stood up to his full height. He towered over you, baring his fangs, itching to kill. âYou will regret ever making me angry, human,â he spat. âI will deal with that boy later and give him and his avatars a painful punishment, but for now, human, your soul is mine to take.â
The demon did not know what to make of the disdainful look on your face - the disappointment a mother feels towards her child sometimes, and a part of the king did not like it. He reached for your neck, trying to take your soul, but the smell of burning flesh filled his nose. The demon looked at his hand : his skin burning and cracking. He frowned â a human should not be able to perform any magic, unless they are a sorcerer.
You, on the other hand, thanked Luke in your head for blessing you â that kid is going to become a fantastic angel, you were sure of it.
The king looked down on you, his hands curled in fists, for he hated how you seemed unfazed. âIâd like you to take a seat, kind sir,â you said plainly, âIâll have to teach you a lesson on respect.â With a flick of your wrist, a massive whiteboard and some whiteboard pens appeared. The demon king looked dumbfounded - yet he quickly replaced that look with a look of anger.
You looked up and still saw the man shaking in anger. Irritated, you kissed your teeth. The idea of a full grown man, a whole demon king at that, mad and upset at you just because you were trying to teach him some respect, made you feel very smug, but, the demon was wasting your time.
âSit. Down.â The kingâs eyes darkened. A part of him wanted to listen to you, but he mostly wanted to throw you across the room. Respect, my ass, he thought. You payed no heed. If he was going to stand, then so be it. You opened your marker, and started explaining. âRespect goes both ways, you should know, of course,â you began your lecture.
⢠⢠â˘
You finished your lecture after a whole two hours has passed, which shouldnât have taken so long - it was honestly concerning. You made sure the king understood that he couldnât put his son and avatars in the dungeons, and he reluctantly agreed. The king also managed to understand, to your surprise, that the exchange program was necessary for the future of all three worlds.
However, while you were sitting on the sofa, you couldnât help but wonder where the hell the avatars and diavolo were. There were no servants around, and there was not a hint of life around the castle. Hell, the guards the usually stood outside the castle gates were not there. The only person who could know of their whereabouts was the king in front of you, and you had no choice but to ask him.
âDo you happen to know where Diavolo and the avatars are, Your Majesty?â You asked, eating a cookie. The demon however, stared at you with a look screaming âare you seriousâ. You met his stare with one of confusion. âPerhaps you shouldnât have eaten too many cookies, human,â he told you. You were still very much baffled. âI do believe you have mistaken this place as Diavoloâs castle,â he explained. If you were confused before, you were now completely bamboozled. âWhat do you mean?â You asked. The demon king pursed his lips tightly.
âYou are in the Mausoleum, human.â
Your eyes widened. âYou mean I couldâve been with diavolo and the others this whole time, that I couldâve avoided this entire encounter, and that I went on ,â you exclaimed. All this time wasted on teaching a grown man respect, you thought sadly. You gathered your belongings and bid goodbye to the king, before he stopped you and asked how you knew he was asleep. You replied with smug look - he doesnât need to know youâve been eavesdropping on diavoloâs conversations with barbs.
With that, you made your way to the right direction to the Demon Lordâs Castle, a new little story to tell your demons once you reach your second home. Oh you couldnât wait to see them shook â after all, not many demons, let alone humans, survive after an encounter with the King of Hell, but you, of course, were full of surprises.
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