When “Support” Has Conditions
February 18, 2026
I used to think unfairness at work would be obvious. Loud. Easy to name. But it rarely arrives like that. More often, it shows up quietly, disguised as “support,” padded with reassurance, and held together by promises that only remain true as long as everything keeps running.
A role change was presented as a rescue. A fresh start. A way to “save” me from being fired. In reality, it meant being pushed into work I wasn’t trained for, with no structure and no proper onboarding. I had to teach myself while the help that was promised stayed just out of reach. Always “soon,” never actually there.
For a while, it still worked, because I made it work. But weeks became months of constant pressure, chasing expectations that kept shifting at the last minute. Eventually, my body called it what it was. Burnout. A forced stop. Time at home that wasn’t rest, just recovery from something that should never have escalated that far.
After that came the waiting. Because as a consultant, the system made it easy to stall without consequences. There was a bench and a steady stream of reassurance. “We’re looking.” “We’ll find something.” “Just give it time.” A few weeks passed like that, until patience became inconvenient and the tone changed. “This isn’t working.” Fired again, softened by one more promise. “We’ll still keep looking.”
Eventually, something did come. It didn’t feel like an opportunity. It felt like a leftover disguised as one, handed down to close a file rather than build a future. I hesitated. I said I didn’t feel good about it. I was persuaded anyway, again, with promises.
The onboarding was messy. Expectations were unclear. The vibe was wrong in that way that’s hard to prove but impossible to ignore. And when I refused to continue, when a boundary was set because continuing wasn’t safe anymore, the narrative flipped.
Concerns became “mistakes.” Boundaries became “non-cooperation.” Self-protection became a problem to manage. The same people who had insisted everything would be fine turned cold, defensive, coordinated. My account manager did a complete 180, and suddenly the story being told about me didn’t match the reality I lived.
A case was fought. The case was easily won. And yet winning didn’t restore dignity. It simply confirmed what had already become clear. Some systems don’t forgive you for refusing to stay convenient.
Three years is a long time to give effort, loyalty, and belief. It’s also long enough to learn the difference between support and control, between a promise and a leash.
Fairness shouldn’t be conditional. Clarity shouldn’t be punished. And any workplace that only functions when someone stays small and agreeable was never safe in the first place.
But spring is arriving soon. And with that one ugly door finally closed, there’s space to breathe again. Room, at last, to notice the softer light, and to see new paths opening.
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