💌Howdy💌

YAYYYYY WAHOO (CHEERING) DUNMESHI SEASON 2!!!!!!!

Cat Sleeping in Flowers 😍

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LISTEN It’s wholesome bullying so I’m allowed. but I SUPPOSE I can come up with something fluffy for this cutie asdfghjkl

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3. The first time

It’s unusual for the school to be so quiet. You’re so used to the hallways being full of students and teachers, all bustling to get from one place to another and filling the air with a cacophony of conversations and chatter. But now, a while after the lessons have concluded for the day, the school feels emptier, the only noise coming from beyond the window as you stare down into the empty courtyard.

You’d stayed behind after school hours to get some work finished before the weekend, not wanting to worry yourself silly over it later, and by the time you’d finished most of the other students had gone home for the day, barring the after school clubs. So for the most part you were on your own.

Or at least you thought you were.

Looking down into the courtyard you caught a figure walking out of one of the exits. Even far up you can make out who it was, the sword and horns being a dead giveaway and you watch as Toji starts making his way across the yard to the entrance. Instinctively you start pounding on the glass and call out to him.

“Toji! Hey, Toji, up here!”

Your voice is muffled and for a moment you think he isn’t going to hear you, but the knocking seems to do the trick as you watch him pause and spin around, looking behind him with visible confusion before his eyes trail up the building and lock onto you. That confusion shifts into utter bewilderment as he cocks his head and raises a hand wordlessly asking you what you’re doing as you yell out to him, hands still pressed against the glass.

“Wait there!”

You don’t know if he hears what you say but you don’t wait for a reply, pushing away from the window and turning on your heel to bolt down the hallways and down the stairway, jumping down the last couple of steps and nearly toppling over in your rush to get to the bottom. You almost slam into the exit door by the time you reach it, but manage to steady yourself once you finally get it open and step out into the courtyard-

-Only to just about run face first into Toji’s chest the moment you get outside.

“Shit-!” you nearly topple back from the force but Toji’s hands shoot out and grab your shoulders rooting you in place until you regain your balance, watching you release a relieved huff.

“Phew, close one. Thanks, Toji” 

He makes a noise of acknowledgment and releases his hold on you, taking a step back as you give yourself a quick once over before turning your attention back to him with a grin.

“Are you heading back to the dorms? Wanna walk back together?” 

At this Toji’s eyes briefly flicker from you over to the gate, and then back again, meeting your eyes as nods. “Fine, if that’s what you wish”

He turns away from you to head to the school entrance and you’re quick to follow suit, walking in stride alongside him until you’re out of the school grounds and on the way to the dorm building. The walk is quiet yet peaceful, the silence between you comfortable and natural as you take in the area around you as you walk. The sun’s only just starting to dye the sky orange, a cloudless sky turning the sky and ground a gorgeous ombre of warm colors that you can’t help but admire as you walk. Your eyes trail over the benches, up to the trees that just barely sway with the breeze, along the pathway and across your shadow before looking back over at Toji. You only look at his face for a moment, taking in his face bathed in the coming sunset before your eyes dart down hoping he doesn’t notice.

His arms are relaxed at his sides, swaying as he walks, though one occasionally brushes up against the hilt of his swords as though to make sure they’re still on hand for a fight. You wouldn’t be surprised honestly, Toji’s never been one to let his guard down easily, and even now you can practically see the tenseness in his shoulders as he walks alongside you, which makes you sad even though you can understand why. For a beat you look down at his hand - he’s close enough that if you moved a little closer your hands would brush against each other. 

You hesitate, hand twitching at your side before you move, slipping his hand into yours before you can talk yourself out of it. Almost immediately, Toji stops walking and you can feel his muscles tense instinctively but you don’t budge, instead feigning ignorance and trying to look anywhere but at him.

“Wha-What are you doing?” He asks, sounding almost scandalized by your gesture. 

“Holding your hand” 

“Yes, I can see that - but why are you-?”

“Because I want to!” you blurt out before you can stop yourself, feeling your face turning red as you fumble for the right words.

“I just...wanted to, okay? I mean we’re walking back and I-I just thought about it and then did it. And hey! Sometimes holding hands is nice and…”

….oh boy you’re making a mess of this. 

“Sorry” you mumble, taking a step back and waiting for him to drop your hand and keep walking. 

Instead, you feel his grip on your hand tighten, firm enough that you’re sure letting go isn’t on his agenda and you dare a look back up. You’re embarrassed to find that his face is, probably as red as yours and he’s avoiding eye contact, but he’s still holding your hand refusing to let go. At this point you’re sure your face is burning as you stare at the floor, flustered but happy and yet incredibly amused about how you two must look to anyone passing by - Two people in the middle of the sidewalk, blushing like crazy at just holding hands - you’d laugh if you weren’t in the situation right now.

“Well” Toji clears his throat, thankfully being the first to break the silence. “Do you....shall we keep going?” 

You look up at him and nod, feeling your shoulders sag in relief as you beam. “Yeah! Let’s go!”

14. Pinning hands down

Spending time with Kengo is always fun - he’s always up to hang out and more often than not when the two of you weren’t doing school work (or lack thereof) or at the guild, you often found the time to kick the breeze together. You’d originally planned to head out, but by the time you’d gotten back to the dorms from class you’d decided that you were too tired to go out. That, coupled with the fact it had started raining by the time you’d reached your room, and you and Kengo ended up hanging out in your room instead.

You’re both lounging across your bed, with Kengo resting against the wall and you beside him, laying across his lap. You’re swiping through tabs on your phone, looking through a mess of videos and photos taken over the past couple weeks and thoroughly entertained looking back on all the funny and wild moments you (and lil Sal) had managed to capture. By your side, your school bag lies open, where your small stash of school snacks lays thoroughly decimated as you’ve pulled them out over the course of the past hour. You’re just finishing up with the gummies you’d pulled out, tossing the last couple up towards Kengo and cheering when he manages to catch them in his mouth as you sit up, shuffling over to your pack to grab something else to snack on.

But when you do all you can feel is your school books and stationery, and after a few moments of blindly rummaging around you get fed up and straighten up, looking inside. 

Peeking into the bag for another pack you make a noise of realization, picking up the small treat pack.

“Ah, it’s the last one” you muse to yourself, glancing between the pack in your hands and Kengo.

The two of you look at each other, it’s a brief look - Kengo still has his hand still up waiting for you to toss it over, but you aren’t budging with the treats still firmly in your grasp, lips pursed as you contemplate. Kengo, for what it’s worth, catches on to your plans quickly, as the second you make a move to dart off of the bed treats in tow he lunges to stop you.

“Oi! Hand it over!” You throw yourself out of his range, rolling across the bed and holding the bag as far out of his reach as you possibly can.

“Hey! I called dibs!” you retort, wiggling the bag for good measure.

“You did not!”

Kengo makes another grab for the bag, and the two of you dissolve into play-fighting your way across the bed, getting increasingly more fervent the longer you’re able to wiggle your way out of his grasp and skirt along the edges of the bed to keep out of his view. It’s entertaining, and by this point you’re more focused on playing catch-up than you are with the bag, even so you keep teasing him, keeping the hand with the bag clutched to your chest so he doesn’t make another grab for it.

However, after awhile you get cocky, flashing him a confident smirk as you screech to a halt at the side of your bed, pinching the sides of the bag and making a move to pull it open as you quip.

“I’m sure you wouldn’t mind if I just take a couple pieces huh, Kengo? Don’t you wanna share with-SHIT-!”

You’re cut off with a shout when Kengo manages to close the distance, hand winding up into your shirt as you two collide with enough force that you both start toppling off of the bed. Gasping out a curse, you try to keep yourself upright by gripping onto the covers, but all that does is make the fall more awkward, and your back slams against the floor hard enough that it makes you wheeze. The position is tricky, your legs still propped up on the bed though they aren’t too far from slipping off too; Kengo’s not faring much better, as he has to keep one hand planted firmly against the floor so as not to fall on top of you, but neither of you pay it much attention.

The two of you continue to tussle, but with the position advantage it isn’t much of a fight anymore and soon enough the bag’s pried out of your hold and he’s got you pinned, both hands trapped under his and he’s not budging even in spite of your squirming. Kengo’s looking down at you, balancing the corner of the treat bag between his teeth since his hands are occupied and he grins in triumph. 

“Heh, gotcha”

You don’t know whether it’s the blood rushing to your head, but heat starts rising from your neck all the way up to your face, and with the treats now firmly out of your grasp your focus has shifted from protecting them to realizing exactly what position you’re in right now. Kengo’s essentially got you caged beneath his body, gravity acting against you so that he’s pretty much straddling you. Your chest grows tight and any snarky retort you were planning to make turns into a jumble of hastily mumbled words as you fidget under him, moving your legs but only succeeding in knocking them against him in the process and you slip a little further down against the floor. 

“Uh...Kengo?”

He’s still grinning, but at the tone of your voice and the bright red hue your face has taken, his brows knit together; he doesn’t seem to notice how precarious a position you two are in, so you nudge him again, deliberately pulling your legs up so they brush against his back. It takes a moment, but then you can see the lightbulb go off and then Kengo splutters, cheeks turning pink. And yet neither of you budge, maybe you two are waiting to see who moves first, or maybe it’s because you don’t want to move, however when Kengo moves back a bit you act first, leaning up. It’s quick, and the awkward angle means that you miss his lips, but you manage to plant a kiss to his jaw before letting your head drop back down to the floor, looking up at him with a sheepish smile.

Kengo mumbles your name loud enough for you to hear, before he’s grinning again, treat bag being tossed aside as he dips down to kiss you properly. He’s still got your hands pinned against the floor, only moving enough so that your fingers interlock and he tightens his grip on them as his lips move against yours. In response you make an appreciative noise, squirming against him and pushing yourself further off of the bed until your feet slip off and allow you to rest fully against the floor, giving you a more comfortable position to work with. 

When the two of you part you’re both panting, and Kengo presses his face to your cheek where you feel his breathless chuckle fan heat across your skin when you try to twist your head to give him another kiss. He kisses your cheeks in quick succession, stubble tickling you in the process and you snicker at the sensation, drawling out his name and leaning into the kisses until he finally starts moving back to your lips. You want to take his face into your hands, to pull him into a deeper kiss, but his hands don’t budge when you try to slip out of his grip.

“Kengo” you huff when he pulls away, face hovering just above yours.

You shift your hands as much as you can beneath him in a wordless plea to free your hands as you give him a pointed look, one brow raised when he looks at your connected hands.

“Hmm…” he mutters to himself, thinking for a moment.“Na, I like this better”

“Kengo!” 

Man first time taking a crack at Zao but I had too cute of an idea not to make it ridiculously fluffy sdfghgfd thank you so much for requesting, I do hope I did him justice~!

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It’s still dark outside when you find yourself waking up. Stretching with a sigh you’re reluctant to leave the warmth of your sleeping bag, the fabric far more comforting than you thought it would be when you’d first burrowed into it for the night; so instead of leaving you roll over onto your side, fully prepared to pester Zao with idle chatter until you’re able to fall back asleep, after all, he’s almost always awake during this time. 

But the space beside you is empty, and his sleeping bag is rolled up.

“Zao?” you mutter out, yawning into your hand as you lift yourself up onto your elbows and look around the tent.

Sure enough, he’s nowhere else in the tent, and the flap to the entrance is unfastened, but from where you’re sitting you can just barely make out a light seeping in through the small gap. Blinking the sleep from your eyes you glance between your side and the entryway a few times, humming to yourself as you allow your brain to catch up on what you’re seeing. And once you do you reluctantly shuffle your way out of your bed, pushing yourself up onto your feet as much as the space around you will allow - it’s a snug fit, but you’re just glad it’s still warm inside as you move you peek your head out of the flap.

Being so high up you should have expected it to be chilly, but the wave of cold that hits your face has you cursing under your breath, expression twisting in response in an attempt to stop the stinging sensation that blossoms across your cheeks and nose from the sudden temperature change. It would probably be a good idea to duck back inside and burrow through your pack for your climbing coat before you venture out into the night, but right as the idea strikes you, you catch sight of the light source that had initially drawn your attention.

The campfire that the two of you had set up earlier in the day has been reignited, the warm orange flames licking at the air and casting the ground around in a soft glow; and next to the campfire you can make out a familiar bulky silhouette, back turned away from you and facing towards the flames. 

Ah, there he is. 

You’re quick to shuffle over to the campfire, both eager to join him and get close to the heat source hoping it’ll warm you up, and you can’t help but chuckle as you approach.

“And here I thought you’d run off while I was asleep” you tease, dropping down into a sitting position beside him. “What’s wrong, restless? Couldn’t sleep?”

Zao turns away from what he was staring at and glances at you as you make yourself comfortable, scooting closer towards the campfire seeking out the warmth it provided.

“Mhm, something like that” he responds, and you make a noncommittal whistle of acknowledgment as you switch your gaze between him and the campfire.

A few moments pass before you speak up again.

“So, what were you looking at?”

Zao opens his mouth to respond, but you start to speak again before he can say anything.

“Let me guess” you hum “just wanted to just take in some of that good ol’ mountain air?”

“No, I-” he tries to cut in but you’re still going with the speculation.

“Ooh, or maybe you were planning on wandering around? - there’s a river closeby, right?”

You vaguely register the frustrated look that he’s giving you, but honestly it’s too fun not to try and get another guess in as you muse.

“You know, a cabin would fit right in around here~ Maybe I could convince Andvari that a mountain lodge would make for a good investm-” 

You’re cut off when a hand presses against the back of your head, and your gaze is pulled upwards to look at the sky. Whatever you were saying next trails off as your jaw goes slack, eyes widening as you take in the sight presented right above you.

It’s beautiful - you’ve never seen the sky look so clear.  

So far away from civilization and Tokyo’s city lights, the stars light up the sky like gold on a deep blue canvas. And it’s not just blue either, the sky itself is like a mesh of purples, whites, teals and numerous other rich tones, all fusing and merging together like something right out of a painting. You’ve seen pictures, seen videos, but it really looks as though the galaxy is stretching out before your eyes; and here, so high up, you almost feel like you could just reach out and run your hands through that very sky, swirling those stars between your fingers just to know what it would feel like and touch. 

“Oh, wow”

You’re mesmerized, so much so that you only catch yourself getting lost staring in awe when you hear a laugh from beside you, and you glance away to sneak a peek at Zao. From the corner of your eye he’s smiling, clearly proud of himself at the sight of your speechlessness, and you turn to fully face him, shooting him a withering pout.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up - I guess I’ve gotta admit, it is a pretty amazing sight”

His hand, that’s still on the back of your head, moves further up and ruffles your hair and you whine in protest, swatting his hand away even as you try to hide the fact that you’re smiling. Right on cue however, you receive a none too subtle reminder about just how cold it is, as a particularly sharp chill runs up your spine suddenly enough that you yelp at the sensation. Even the fire before you does little to block out the cold like you’d wished, and you pull your legs closer to your chest in the hopes that they’ll take the brunt of the next breeze. 

Zao notices your reaction and shoots you a pointed look - honestly with how often he’s out here you wouldn’t be surprised if he’s way more acclimated to the climate than you are; you’ve gotta admit, that’s kind of funny to think about. 

“Cold? Did you not bring your coat out with you?”

You want to retort that you’d been a bit more focused on your missing mountaineering buddy than clothes but hold your tongue, shuffling closer to the fire trying to seek out its heat to combat the incoming cold. Trying to focus on the movement of the flames to distract yourself you watch  tiny pieces of kindling breaking off and disappearing into the air for a little while, resting your head atop your knees in an attempt to get comfortable until you decide to head back to the tent.

But you don’t stay like that for long, as after a few moments of silence passes an arm wraps around your side, and just like that you’re being moved from your spot, picked up like you didn’t weigh a thing and settled back down so that your back is pressed flush against Zao’s chest. You’re glad for the warm hue of the flames, as they provide a good excuse for why your cheeks feel like they’re burning up. 

Yep, it’s because of the campfire. Definitely...maybe. 

You probably would have said something, made a quip or teasing remark to get a reaction out of him, but he’s so warm that you can already feel the heat creeping up your back, spreading across your shoulders in a way that you just about melt back against him. But the warmth isn’t the only thing that you feel; twisting to look at your shoulders you find that Zao’s draped a blanket over the two of you, and you reach for the two sides draped over you, pulling them closed with a perplexed expression.

“A blanket? Where did you get…?”

In response, Zao pats the space next to him, and it’s there that you finally spot the trusty pack by his side. You swear he’s got anything and everything in that bag; you’re tempted to ask if he’s got any drinks stashed in there, but for now you’re content with just the blanket, and the mountain man that comes with it.

Allowing yourself a moment of respite, you let your eyes flutter closed, your previous hours of sleep catching up to you as the added warmth lulls you into a relaxed state. You can hear the campfire cracking before you, the rustling of the nearby trees and the occasional shrill hum of the wind as it brushes past; it makes for some damn good ambiance to listen to, and right behind you, you can hear Zao’s breathing, working in tandem with the rise and fall of his chest in a steady rhythm. It’s kind of calming, and for a few seconds you focus on listening to all the things that you can hear.

Eventually, a  sigh from above you catches your attention, and you tilt your head up trying to catch what he says.

“Hah, what a troublesome little mountaineer”

You crack one eye open, gazing up at him as you grin.

“Aw, come on, Zao - you know you love me, really~”

Zao sputters, and you have three glorious seconds where you watch his face reddening at your words before his hand’s back on your head, ruffling it hard enough that your gaze is pushed back to the floor as you howl with laughter.

“Hey! What have I said about mocking your elders!? I’m taking the blanket back!”

“Noooo! I’ll behave, I swear!”

“We both know you won’t!”

Had some provider change bullshit and went from 225 mg a day for years to cold turkey for five days. Effexor’s pretty famous for being The Fucking Worst withdrawal wise, but it honestly works great for me. I’m a dumbass with ADHD, so I often end up without a day or two, but HOO BOY five days was a lot.

Unfortunately, most withdrawal advice I’ve found it targeted at people who are intentionally going off Effexor and focused on working with a doctor and weening slowly, not super relevant to me. I wanted to write up what I’ve learned to help other people who might be going through the withdrawal and not have access to Effexor or a doctor. None of this magically fixes it, it’s just making the shit timeframe until you can get your meds a bit less shit.

Note, this is pretty much all personal experience, and there’s not much research. This is not formal medical advice, and if you can talk to a professional, please do. Also note that I have a number of side conditions that may influence my experience. (Withdrawal is actually something that can be so personal.)