greatestevilâ:
â iâm looking for my daughter hope . â
   âit seems weâre in search of the same person. how peculiar.â
trying on a metaphor
One Nice Bug Per Day
Xuebing Du
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

Product Placement
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

shark vs the universe


Kaledo Art
wallacepolsom

noise dept.

#extradirty

çĽćĽ / Permanent Vacation
AnasAbdin

titsay
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
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@royalcrscnt
greatestevilâ:
â iâm looking for my daughter hope . â
   âit seems weâre in search of the same person. how peculiar.â

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âYouâre dripping blood on the carpet.â âWhen I said scars are kinda sexy, I didnât mean you should get one right awayâŚâ âPress that against the wound, Iâm going to get the med kit.â âItâs bleeding quite badly.â âOh God, what happened to you?!â âYouâre covered in blood! Is it yours?â âYour head looks pretty bad. Iâm sure itâll need stitches.â âItâs going to hurt for a moment, but Iâll need to clean the wound.â âIâm so sorry this happened to you. But youâre safe now.â âThatâs a pretty nasty bruise. Want some ice?â âDoes it still hurt?â âI donât think a band aid is gonna fix thisâŚâ âWhoa, hey, stay with me! Youâre as white as a ghost. Donât pass out.â âDamn, that must hurt. Iâm sure there are some painkillers around here.â âYou have to be seen by a doctor. This isnât going to heal on its own.â âIt looks broken. Can you move it at all?â âHere, lean on me. Iâll support you.â âIâm not going to leave you behind. If need be, Iâll carry you.â âIâm going to pick you up now, okay? Just hold on to me.â âEverything is going to be okay. Just hang in there.â
âI donât feel so good.â âItâs seeping through the bandages.â âMy head is throbbing. I think I have a concussion.â âI can barely breathe, it hurts so bad!â âIt looks worse than it is. Iâm sure itâll be gone in a couple of daysâŚâ âYou should see the other one.â âDonât look at me like that. I donât want your pity.â âIt was my fault, really. I wasnât paying attention and got hit in the face.â âGetting stabbed wasnât really on my bucket list.â âI donât think I can walk.â âLeave me behind, please. Iâm just going to slow you down.â âAm I going to die?â âI canât stop the bleeding.â âI think the bruise matches my eye color.â âDonât touch it, please! It hurts.â âI donât want to go to a hospital. I hate doctors!â
ofembersâ:
        downing her final shot, she decided that she would be getting tipsy enough here to want to get back to her motel and finish off whatever bottle she had there for a solid brick of sleep. she would at least feel safer being inebriated in her demon proof room. maybe her drunk self wouldnât get the room on the other side of the wall next to her bed complaining to the motel manager about her screaming. much more of that and she would have someone bursting in afraid that she was getting murdered.
         âi like the old time brick design of this place. but â string up some lights in an outdoor seating area like the golden martini has and iâm smitten.â she supposed that she was easily impressed by anything most would find pleasing to the eye. from what she had overheard from some teenagers while at steamy beans while waiting for her coffee in the late mornings, she was a bit of what they would call a basic bitch.  âi hope they have good cheese fries here, theyâre comforting too.â
   she had no intention of getting too intoxicated that she wasnât able to handle herself should something come up. while the distraction was appreciated & needed, it wasnât that needed -- not currently anyway. drink in hand, she kept up a slow pace, not wanting to finish off her drink too quickly & ruin the good plan sheâd put in place. while finding hope was worrisome & bothersome, it wasnât enough to send her off the edge just yet.
   âthe golden martini is fantastic.â of course sheâd visited it a few times, wanting to familiarize herself with as many of the local shops & restaurants as possible. âcheese fries are always a must,â she agreed with a smile. not that she was usually the type to order such a thing, but she could appreciate them every once in a while much the same as anyone else.
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â i donât think this is the right way â
â did you hear that ? â
â iâm telling you , this place is haunted â
â is that a dead body ? â
â i donât think itâs a good idea to be walking these woods so late â
â this place is cursed â
â ghosts arenât real ! â
â we have to run , now ! â
â weâre locked in ! â
â please tell me thatâs you flickering the lights â
â i think the power is out â
â weâre at a graveyard late at night , what did you think was going to happen ? â
â i think i just saw something move down the hall â
â there is no way iâm staying here overnight â
â i think i just saw a ghost ! â
â do you think holy water will work on them ? â
â i saw on tv once that salt will keep them away â
â you canât leave me here alone ! â
â luckily , i donât get scared easily â
â that sounds like it was pulled right out of some horror movie â
â weâre going to have to stay here tonight â
â what do you mean the hotel is haunted ? â
â something really horrible must have happened here â
â did you hear that scream ? â
â get some sleep , iâll keep watch â
â what do you mean the car wonât start ? â
â whatâs better than being trapped in a haunted house when thereâs a bad rain storm outside ? oh yeah , just about everything .
â how do you kill something thatâs already dead ? â
â what do these symbols mean ? â
â you look like you just saw a ghost â
â are you alright ? â
ďź*â˘ĚŠĚŠÍâŠâ˘ĚŠĚŠÍ*Ëă HALLOWEEN PICK-UP LINES MEME
pulled from various online lists, some nsfw, some awkward, some cheesy. feel free to change pronouns or reverse as you see fit.
âAre you a monster? Because you look Frankenfine.â
âYou must be the devil because it just got hot in here.â
âIâm not a bat but a night with me will turn your world upside down.â
âAre you a jack-o-lantern? Because youâre lighting up the room.â
âIâm not going as a ghost this year, but you can still get under my sheets.â
âWant to check my pants for a treat?â
âIâll get your heart racing faster than the haunted house.â
âWant to get tangled in my spider web tonight?â
âForget your broom, ride me instead?â
âIf I were a zombie, Iâd eat you first.â
âI bet I can make you scream tonight.â
âI donât want your candy, I just want your number.â
âIsnât it spooky how your number isnât in my phone?â
âI âwitchâ youâd go out with me.â
âI didnât get any Hersheyâs. Can you share some kisses?â
âIâm the ghoul for you.â
âYou must be a zombie, youâre drop-dead gorgeous.â
âTalking to you makes me feel like Iâm under a spell.â
âAre you a ghost? Because I think you should be my boo.â
âNormally Iâd wish for Milky Ways but youâre the only treat I want this Halloween.â
âI must be a Jack-O-Lantern, âcuz I light up everytime I see you.â
âAre you a bat? Because I sure am hung up on you.â
âIf you play your cards right, you might be the one who sucks tonight.â
âYour costume looks complicated. Need help taking it off?â
âI would totally carve your pumpkin.â
âMy striped stockings would look great on your bedroom floor.â
âWanna see my Trojan Horse?â
âNurse, can I have a little sugar to help the medicine go down?â
âIâm a handsome prince and my sword is no trick.â
âIf you were a jack-oâ-lantern, Iâd totally light your candle.â
âCan I ride your broomstick? I lost mine.â
âYou must love Halloween! You donât need to buy a costume to look like an angel.â
âArrrr, give me that booty!â
âYou should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns.â
âPardon me for drooling, but without my jaw, I canât help myself!â
âIs that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?â
âWanna search me for buried treasure?â
âThat is quite the booty youâve got there.â
âWant to be part of my costume? Iâll let you under my sheets.â
âGood thing Iâm here, it has to be illegal to look that good.â
âYou must be the answer to my prayers.â
âHey Cinderella, itâs about time I took you home. Itâs nearly midnight!â
âWhatâs a nice ghoul like you doing in a crypt like this?â
âIâm a doctor and you look like you could use these shots.â
âIâm dressed up as a werewolf right now, but I become a real beast in the bedroom.â
âIs that candy in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?â
âTrick or treat at my place and I guarantee youâll get a full-size Snickers bar!â
âIâm an animal in the bedroom.â
âYouâre the most boo-tiful ghost Iâve seen all night!â
âYouâre a skele-10 in my book.â
âDid you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?â
âYou know what they say about⌠Big Feet.â
âWhyâd you dress up as a princess, when you could have simply come in plain clothes as âthe most beautiful girl hereâ?â
âI know I donât have a chance, but I just wanted to hear an angel speak.â
âYouâre such a treat that I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me.â
âYour mausoleum or mine?â
âHey pumpkin, I bet I can put a smile on your face!â
âYou look dead sexy. Mostly dead, but still sexy.â
âI heard there is a vampire on the loose you better stay with me tonight.â
âI didnât know that my favorite Halloween treat came in life size!â
âThat skeleton over there said heâd get your number for me, but he didnât have the guts, so here I am.â
â If you think Iâm hot now, wait until you see what I turn into at midnight.â
âI canât find a costume for Halloween, so can I just go as your boyfriend?â
âI can see a date in our future.â
â Your costume mustâve brought all the boys to the graveyard.â
âAre you a spiderweb? Because Iâm tangled up in you.â
âJust what I thought, Â your costume is made out of 100% girlfriend/boyfriend material.â
âI guess I shouldâve dressed up as a Zombie, you look like you have a lot of brains.â
âYou look fang-tastic tonight.â
âWeâd get along â I can feel it in my bones.â
âIf you were mine Iâd give you all treats and no tricks.â

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â I feel like you always understand about 20% of whatâs happening. â â starting right now no one may go outside under any circumstances. â â thereâs something wrong about that but I canât put my finger on what it is. â â I just want us all to be together. separate houses, obviously. â â well, the nightmare continues. â â that is the nicest and only thing anyone has said to me in thirty years. â â I came up with hundreds of plans in my life and only one of them got me killed. â â that wasnât my fault. I was texting. â â Iâm a naughty bitch. â â obviously, earth is cancelled. â â do you have a second to eat my farts? â â first up, we fill his acoustic guitar with wet cat food. â â itâs not real, and neither are you. â â isnât there someone else better you could ask? like literally anyone else? â â thatâs what I wrote? thatâs meaningless. â â Iâve definitely never seen the word  âpants-tentâ used so many times. â â now the thing I said right after we kissed will always be  âhot diggity dogâ! â â likeâŚ. why? oh, and alsoâŚ. how? â â I once got lost on an escalator. â â I am attractive, yes. â â new ideas are gross. they sicken me. â â in a nutshell, it slaps. â â caring just seems like a lot of work. â â I canât high-five that! no matter how badly I want to. â â she makes the bass dropâŚ. in my heart. â â I was dropped into a cave, and you were my flashlight. â â send nude pics of your heart to me. â â are ghosts racist? â â I am returning my damn essence to the damn fabric of the damn universe. â â I thought you were at least gonna pretend to fight me on that, but whatever. â â no offense, but youâre being a real smooth-brain right now. â â Iâm going toâŚ. start crying. â â hi. shut up. Iâm confident now. â â Iâm gonna do the evil speech now. â â you got dreams in life? thatâs lit. â â I have a question for you: are you out of your damn mind? â â youâre like the pam anderson boob-motorcycle of people. â â sometimes you just gotta chuck a Moltov cocktail at a drone and see what happens. â â I hope my early successes make up for the mess Iâve become, like facebook, or america. â â to be fair, I only think that because itâs true and Iâm right. â â Iâm gonna go eat a knife. â â screw this! letâs fight! â â you really junked your jeans on this one, you butterface. â â yeah, I have about a billion objections to this. â â you havenât responded to any of the dank memes Iâve sent. â â the other possible medical diagnosis is that youâre just a bit of a dick. â â itâs not a joke! Iâm a legit snack! â â well, Iâve narrowed it down to two possibilities: yes and no. â â take it sleazy. â
moonshackledâ:
          âitâs nice. a bit more lowkey than where i grew up, but â something about the balance between easily accessible nature and still having things to do in town is refreshing.â he enjoyed the hustle and bustle of city life and the night life was obviously a lot better back in colorado springs than it was here, but he did appreciate the beauty of the trees and the sorry excuse for a river on the outskirts of town.Â
         âyouâll be thanking yourself. iâve tried to cut back on how often i come here, but the food trumps my common sense.â a small smile on his lips as he appreciated the tattoo on her wrist, he shrugged his shoulders. ânice penmanship. â if you ever decide to get a new one me and the other guys at the shop have a bunch of good ideas in our sketchpads if youâre looking for inspiration.â
   âwhile i can appreciate the hustle & bustle of city life, i donât know that i could live anywhere that wasnât surrounded by the beauty of nature. thereâs something about wandering off into the woods thatâs just incredibly calming.â perhaps it was the wolf gene she carried within her or the fact that sheâd always been the girl to choose nature over a city -- regardless, the wilderness always seemed to feel a little bit more like home to her than anything else.
   âwith everything happening in town, i have a feeling iâll be visiting the local shops & restaurants frequently just to get my mind off of things.â she needed something to keep her mind from wandering to things it shouldnât. âyeah, i really like it. turned out better than i was expecting, honestly,â she commented, darkened hues giving the tattoo a quick glance. âi wouldnât mind getting another, so iâll definitely keep that in mind.â
shecrumbledâ:
   âmy attitude keeps me right where i wanna be princess.â alone, primarily, and she wasnât about to bend her personality for the people in this town. she had let enough people past her walls since she had joined jakeâs pack. âi donât think it is wise to make too many friends in this town. who knows whoâll be dead in time for tomorrowâs headlines.â
   âalone?â she questioned, quirking a brow in the girlâs direction. hayley couldnât imagine her attitude helped her any when making friends. âwho said anything about making friends?â the brunette asked -- not completely disagreeing with her comment. âyou can make allies without making friends, you know.â
 famedhunterâ:
    he smiled at the woman, assured that she had read the situation right and they didnât have the same struggle. ânice to share the frustration regardless of differing circumstances.â most aspects of anybodyâs life would be turned upside down by the utter chaos surrounding this town. he hoped some of the residents had the common sense to leave to visit out of state family for a while instead of risk their lives simply by living their day to days.
      âat least the weatherâs nice this time of year. i need to remember to skip a lot of my layers for next time iâm out and about. a minor silver lining easily overshadowed by the murder sprees around here.â
   âthe weather certainly is beautiful -- much better than what i had expected, if iâm honest.â truthfully, she hadnât given much thought to what the weather would be like in devil hills. it really hadnât even been a thought that had crossed her mind. the only thing hayley had been concerned with prior to coming was finding hope -- everything else was simply minor details. âsuppose we have to look for some form of silver lining around here if weâre to keep ourselves the least bit sane.â not that murder & murder sprees hadnât somewhat become the norm for her during her time with the mikaelson family.
   âyou know, i hadnât really expected to find anyone out here -- given the current state of devil hills,â she admitted, brow furrowing as she eyed the stranger before her. âwhat brings you out here, if you donât mind me asking.â
ofembersâ:
       âcanât really blame them. the amount of crap going on around here is enough to drive anyone to drink.â she took her second shot, hoping to be far enough gone that she wasnât panicking within the half hour⌠but she needed to be careful that she was sober enough to fight anyone, or anything, off when she left this place. maybe her nerves were getting the better of her, but after nearly four years of trying to do anything she could to survive her second shot at life, she wasnât about to let it end in devil hills.Â
       âchange of scenery. iâve been in town for a few weeks and havenât gotten around town that much. i heard this place had shuffleboard, which, seemed interesting for a bar.â a lot better than hearing men squabble in the other room over pool, but perhaps less entertaining than seeing how many of the locals fell for the i donât know how to play pool until thereâs money on the line hustle. âand maybe some of the same as anyone else. distraction from this morningâs headlines in the papers.â
   she couldnât disagree with the womanâs statement -- after all, she knew very well she was right. with everything happening in devil hills, drinking seemed to be the only thing that could put a wandering mind at ease. & it was all too easy to let your mind wander -- wondering who was going to be next, or rather, what was going to be next. âtakes the edge off, i suppose.â at least it had momentarily for her own wandering mind -- her thoughts always circling the wellbeing & whereabouts of her daughter & the mikaelson family. truthfully, she didnât know where sheâd be if it wasnât for the booze.
   âthis bar certainly is a great deal different than the others,â she admitted, having visited each option herself. âthe lack of a pool table definitely sets it apart from the others -- thatâs for sure.â not that she truly cared for shuffleboard, but she too needed a change of scenery. hayley merely nodded her head at the girlâs words, brow furrowing at the thought of what sheâd read in the headlines that very morning. âyeah -- anyone could use a distraction from that & liquor certainly seems to be the best option.â

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amzonchildâ:
â yeah ,  ân iâm okay . â emma had been through worse - the three days of torture training , who knows how long in purgatory âŚÂ the girl shifted at the questions .  â i got some food  ân i am shielded from the weather in here . â
   "are you sure youâre okay?â she couldnât help but ask -- knowing that had her own daughter been in a similar situation, she hoped someone would ensure her safety. âi donât mean to pry,â she continued. âi have a daughter & i canât even begin to imagine allowing her to fend for herself in a place like this.â it was true -- the mere idea caused her to panic. although, she knew klaus would take better care of hope than that -- or at least she hoped he would. âiâm not going to make you do anything youâre uncomfortable with, but youâre more than welcome to stay with me. but -- like i said, iâm not about to force you into anything you donât want to do. the choice is yours.â
demvrtelâ:
           he could smell her from a distance . the hybrid wolf . a rarity indeed . and he was generally curious over her . and so he trailed behind her , attempting to elude her from sight . though he knew it wouldnât have worked . the moment she turned around , he paused , a distance between them .  â forgive my manners . i was simply wondering why a woman was doing , wondering these woods is all .  â tristan replied .Â
               â i see that this is your home . hayley marshall kenner isnât it ? wow . youâre far more beautiful than what they say âŚÂ âÂ
   darkened hazel hues lifted to meet his, a questioning look overtaking the brunetteâs features. she was certain sheâd never met this man before, as it was highly unlike her to forget a face. âiâm sorry -- have we met?â he obviously knew who she was, but she knew absolutely nothing about this man. hayleyâs arms remained crossed over her chest, keeping her defenses up as she still had no idea who he was. âyou obviously know who i am, but iâm afraid i have no idea who you are.â
   for anyone that knew her, it was no surprise that sheâd be out in the woods wandering around. it wasnât the bayou, but it still put her at ease & gave her that sense of home. she needed that now more than ever, especially considering she had yet to find niklaus, hope, or any of the mikaelsonâs for that matter. it was getting late & as the sun began to set, she still didnât bother heading back -- continuing to trek further & further into the wilderness. it wasnât until she heard another approaching that she came to an abrupt & sudden halt.
   spinning around on her heel, the hybridâs eyes lifted to land upon another person. âthere a reason youâre creepily following me around? or do you always just randomly wander the woods this late?â arms crossing over her chest, the brunette stared the other down -- not letting her defenses down until she knew this person wasnât a threat.
moonshackledâ:
      âseems like a lot of people have been flooding in lately. i didnât beat the crowd by much.â enough to settle down in an apartment and have a modest line up of photos to take for people outside of working at the tattoo shop. excusing his gaze, he turned back to the burger and took a large bite, thinking quietly to himself while he chewed. out of practice with leading small talk, he wasnât sure where the line was between polite conversation and being a little odd and invasive.
     âyou wouldnât regret it. might need to take half of it home, though. three sandwiches in one.â he tried not to get it too often, but the comfort food became something he craved at least weekly since coming to devil hills. âthe only advice i can really give you is that the tipsy vixen can be a little⌠hectic. the clientele at twisted bull, a little ornery. this place seems to be the most calm. and the tattoo parlor on main street has a few good artists there.â
   âyeah, seems this place keeps getting more & more crowded each day.â not that she minded large crowds of people, considering new orleans always seemed to be hustling & bustling. oddly enough, it made her feel a bit more at home. as much as she missed being back home, if there was the slightest possibility that sheâd find her daughter here, it was well worth the move in her eyes. âhow do you like it here so far?â
   âperhaps iâll have to order one to go,â she commented, a smile already stretching across the brunetteâs features. after all, hayley was certain she could use the comfort food -- perhaps itâd put her a little more at ease. âiâve noticed,â the words followed by a small chuckle soon after. âfew good artists, huh?â the thought intrigued her, dark hazel orbs glancing down at the tattoo she already had. âiâve only got one so far,â showing off the âjoyâ that was written across her wrist. âbut perhaps iâll have to consider another.â
shecrumbledâ:
  She didnât lift her glance from the newspaper the first time she heard a voice beside her. âNot interested.â Clearly most comfortable with vampires, she was looking for a pattern to the deaths of bodies drained of blood to get rid of some of the problematic residents of the town. When the voice picked up again, she dropped the paper on the table in front of her, hard gaze zoned in on the unwanted company. âSorry, was that word too big? Iâm busy.â
   â& iâm in no mood to deal with your attitude, so i highly suggest you lose it.â disrespect wasnât something hayley took too kindly, so sheâd be damned if this girl thought sheâd get away with talking to her, or anyone for that matter, like that. âthat attitude will get you nowhere, except maybe shoved to your ass.â

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famedhunterâ:
  When he got to town he figured he would check out the river to see if it would be a good dump site for bodies he needed to get rid of. Really didnât seem like it. Barely a stream in some parts, he would call the area a glorified swamp at times. He would have to get some hunters that showed up what they were going to do without causing a complete panic. Enough unsolved mysterious deaths were happening all over without leaving the bodies of monsters lying around. Not to mention the obvious demon problem, the vessels were broken beyond repair and would do nothing but overwhelm the hospital if they could even get them there.
   Alas, he supposed he could enjoy the nice weather. He really didnât need the hat, often forgot that fall weather was a lot warmer here than most of the weather back home throughout the summer. With a bit of a disappointed sigh, Asa walked back to his truck parked in a wooded area next to a few picnic tables and sat on it. With a swig out of his flask, he tore off his beanie and tossed it into the bed of his truck. âLooks like my work is cut out for me here.â The man mused, unaware if anybody had entered the area since he had been cursing at the side of the glorified stream.
   no matter where she went, the woods always seemed to make hayley the happiest. of course new orleans would always be her home, but the woods made unknown places feel a little less strange & a little more like home. not to mention having been in wolf form for so long, sheâd gotten used to being in the woods -- so adjusting had been admittedly more difficult than she cared to admit. hayley hadnât been intending on finding anyone & given the current state of devil hills, it seemed odd to find someone out here.
   the maleâs voice had admittedly caught her off guard a bit, but the hybrid quickly mustered up a smile, not wanting to come off as rude. âiâd say the same, but i have a feeling weâd both be talking about very different things.âÂ
amzonchildâ:
â this is my warehouse !! i got here first . â to many , this would just be an empty warehouse - but to the child that had nothing , this was her temporary home . it kept her safe from cold , rain , things that may lurk in the dark . emma wasnât willing to give it up .
   â& i assure you, i wouldnât dream of taking it from you,â the brunette assured the younger girl, allowing a smile to stretch across her features as a means of showing she truly meant no harm. âare you here by yourself?â while hayley knew it was truly none of her business, her motherly instincts wouldnât allow her to just leave without at least asking & ensuring the girl was okay.