rox

Didn’t sleep all that well, woke up at around 5am and wasn’t immediately faced with negative thoughts, rather a neutral “okay, I’m awake now, I’m kinda hungry because I forgot to eat dinner last night, that’s probably why I’m awake now, okay, I’ll make myself a tasty pb&j, and I won’t fight myself to go back to sleep.” I’m so content, perfectly content, I haven’t felt that in so long, I think my new meds are working. I welcomed the morning by finishing my pb&j and watching the new last meals episode, half expecting to fall asleep during it, but instead, and as usual, treasured it. I’m still in bed but I don’t feel lazy for it, or gross, or off at all. I still may fall back asleep, I don’t have to leave until around 9:30, but I needed to record how insanely content I am. It’s both banal and beautiful at the same time.