Roxirin

☁️ Bluesky

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First Art Fight attack!

Recently, I've found myself using the phrase 'I can't do that right now' like a point-and-click video game protagonist. If you've never played one, this is a typical thing the player character might say if you click on something that they don't have the ability to do anything with (like trying to open a locked door without having collected the key from a different level first).

Thing is, you have to accept this as a fact. It's coded into the game, and there's no amount of saying 'just open it!' while repeatedly clicking on the door in frustration that will result in anything but 'I can't do that right now' if you don't currently have the key.

There is something I find relieving and freeing in saying this about things in real life. I just don't always have the mental and emotional capacity to go to work and fix the hole in the kitchen ceiling and exercise more and weed the garden and finish unpacking and work on any of my personal projects and have the energy left to feel guilty about not doing all those things. One of them has to give, even if it's something as 'simple' as folding my laundry and putting it away.

For me, 'I can't do that right now' really helps ease both the compulsion to try to do all those things at once, and the guilt that comes with not being able to, because then the problem is not that I'm just not trying hard enough, (or that '[other person] can do all these things at the same time, so I should be able to as well'). The problem is that I don't 'have the key' right now—that is an indisputable fact. I don't (at this point in time) have the capacity to do all these things at once, and that's coded into the game, so instead of feeling guilty or trying to push myself past a point that's healthy, I have to just accept it.

This isn't to say you should just give up and never try to improve yourself or do things outside your comfort zone—it's simply a way to reframe 'I should stop being a lazy slob and pick my clothes up off the floor' into 'I might be able to pick my clothes up off the floor later, but my currently-full mental laundry basket dictates that I can't do that right now, even if it's not literally impossible.'

I can only assume that Yao Guang REEKS of Aventurine because I'm Aventurine-pilled and not because there's actually anything going on there (parallels-wise or plot-relevance-wise, I mean), but like...

It is STIN-KY (ramblings under the cut because I wanted to yap about it somewhere, TELL ME NOTHING, I haven't even met Ashveil yet lol)

Sucks to be me, too, (/s) because shortly I'm gonna have to get off my ass and do some or ELSE. OR ELSE, I SAY