Too much JAVA

‘I don’t think I’ve been to this great Spanish restaurant before,” Kaira admitted with a chuckle. “You haven’t to the movies since she’s been born?!’ she gasped, her mouth dropping a bit. “We can definitely go to the movies-want me to pick the movie or you?” she asked. “We can see Endgame, John Wick, Captain Marvel…”

Rowan smiled “Well see I had to surprise you once, after all, you keep showing me new places to eat, it had to be my time.” Even when it hasn’t been his first plan but know that he knew he had managed to do it, he was rather proud of surprising her. “Nah, I have kind of been a full-time dad, and I would be the prick to take his baby to the movies, she’s not much of a cryer, but I won’t risk it to others. So movie night is coming to HBO go, Netflix, Hulu and mostly things I can watch at home. But well since she’s having quality time with her godfather, I think I deserve to go to the movies and have a huge bucket of popcorn. And since I picked the restaurant I think you can pick the movie, but those three sound great so I’ll be happy with any of them.”

“Hm? Oh no, they’re not,’ she answered, shaking her head before her eyes widening when he joked to get them for her. “Oh…thanks, but I think I’ll finally get them,” Kaira answered, pulling out her wallet and paying for them. He was right, they did look good on her. “Maybe I’ll wear them to one of those parties I go to-or one of our lunches.”

He smiled “I think both options will work great, but you know, now that you mention lunch, Luna’s godfather is taking care of her today and I’m kind of less without having much to do, I was thinking that maybe we can go have lunch together, my treat, you can pick the place, all tho I found this great Spanish restaurant, hey maybe we can do something afterwards. Maybe go to the movies or something, haven’t been to one since Luna was born.” 

She reached out and touched them, surprised at how soft they were. “I can’t-they’re so soft!” Kaira exclaimed with a gasp as she touched them. “Oh no, it’s not weird,” she said before she looked down at the earrings in her hand. “I’m thinking about it,” Kaira admitted, wiggling her nose like a little bunny before finally deciding to get them. “I should, shouldn’t I?” she asked before she turned to the seller and brought them. 

He laughed and nodded too. “What are you thinking about it, they look great, isn’t that enough to get them. Are they expensive?” He was curious, if they were he started to question himself if it would be weird to buy them for her. He watched her and smiled “If you don’t get them, I think I will get them for you.” He joked it was a good way to check the waters to see how would she reacted to.

Hearing the voice made her heart skip one beat (just one, and she prayed that he didn’t hear it) when she turned around. “Thanks,” Kaira said with a bright smile. “And those clothes would look good on you too-you and baby Luna.” she said as her eyes fell on the clothes he had in his arms. “In fact, you two would be adorable in them.”

Rowan was rather happy to see a familiar face. He always enjoying Kaira’s company, so he smiled “Can you believe just how soft these are?” He offered for her to touch it “They are a bit expensive than I thought, but they are just so soft.” He giggled “I’m sorry, talking about the fabrics is a little weird, isn’t it?” He slowly shook his head “Anyway are you getting those? I think you totally should.” 

“You talk as if I’m going to drop her on her head.” Take care of her. What did he mean by that? Of course Alex would take care of her. When hasn’t he? Ugh… ignore this. It’s someone else you’re angry at, Alex. “Just take off your sling so I can put it on and go have your fun, man. You probably need it more than I do.”

Rowan rolled his eyes “I know you aren’t, I’m just not used on leaving her. I’m going okay? just have fun you two.” He sighed kissed her daughter, gave Alex the sling and look around to the map “I need to figure out what to do, but okay. Just have fun. ” With that, he just started to walk to the market area to see what he could buy.

“No, it was a one time thing.” Alex reassured his friend, before putting Luna’s things away and then picking her up, to make the baby stand up on his thighs by holding her up, which brought a smile to his lips as Luna moved her chubby legs, kind of stomping on her godfather’s thighs. “Thanks for the offer, though.” Because, again, what was he supposed to do other than thank Rowan, right? There wasn’t anything his friend could do to make him feel better anyway. “How about I take her out for a walk so you can enjoy the adult part of the festival? Maybe you’ll get to meet someone… I don’t know, have some fun, since you’re already here.”

Rowan was about to say no, he was in that time where he didn’t want to move away from his daughter but then he figured Luna was in good hands, and it was very likely that Alex would want some time alone and also people say that dogs and babies were couple catchers, so maybe he would attract someone, not to mention he needed to stop being so overprotective and let Luna get used to not having her father around all the time. “Sure, okay, just take care of her okay, and let me know when you need a takeover I won’t be too far away.” 

Alex knew everything Rowan was saying, but it still felt reassuring to know that someone also thought he’d done what was best for him. A relationship wouldn’t work if only one of the sides was invested in it. “I’ll be fine. I’ve done my Lemonading—” He said with a chuckle as he raised his bandaged hand, then chuckled. “—now I just have to move on. It hurts because it’s recent—and because I was already balls deep into it, but it happens. I had to pull the plug on it because I wasn’t happy. I did it to protect myself. I know that. Still doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt a lot.”

Rowan smiled “Do I have to worry for worst injuries, cause I will let you know that I’m fully trained for first aids, any injured that requires stitching is out of my league, but I’m much better driver and I no longer drive the bicycle all the time, so I can totally take you anywhere, will hate to see you with more bandages but I’m here to take you where you need to.” He was joking, probably a lame one, but it was a bit of a joke. “It those hurts and it sucks so badly, but one day you will just wake up and the pain will be gone. .” 

Alex didn’t think he tended to fantasize about his relationships, so he didn’t think he could understand how Rowan felt. He’s always thought he expected what he should expect from his partners… right? Plus, he preferred knowing what to expect—was this a relationship? Were they just having fun? Were they going to see where it’d lead them?—rather than being surprised. “Truth is, I’m exhausted. Things haven’t been the greatest between him and I, and talking new deals isn’t how it works on relationships, man…” Alex chuckled as he leaned down and kissed the side of Luna’s head. “I was also struggling. Sometimes love isn’t enough.”

“Saying goodbye sucks, it’s painful, we are used to be around that person, we are used to the routine, but saying goodbye sometimes means grow and you did it, you did what’s best for you.” He sighed “I’m sorry it didn’t work and that love wasn’t enough for you guys to make it work, but you will get it, cause there’s someone out there for you, you just guys aren’t ready for eachother yet, but maybe next time you will.” He truly hoped the best for his best friend.

“I don’t understand what is it with people not thinking they deserve more than they get.” Not that he was aiming this as Rowan, but he totally maybe sort of was. Except it wasn’t just at Rowan. “It’s not right to lower our expectations and standards because other people can’t meet them. They’re supposed to rise to our level and not us to them.” Or—maybe this was about him and his reluctance to accept that maybe he should’ve lowered his standards to accept Hyunjin’s ways. More. “I didn’t think we were on the same page in the relationship. I wanted more than he was able to give, which, sounds so much nicer when I put it like that. So mature. But in reality it feels like my heart’s ripped out of my chest and I miss him.”

Rowan smiled, he didn’t want to get his hopes high because deception was a horrible feeling “Don’t get me wrong I want something good, better than the ones I had that didn’t really last, but I preferred to be surprised about what others have to offer me than to create this huge event in my head that might never happen.” Rowan grabbed his friend’s shoulder to comfort him “There’s no way back? I mean if you miss him so much there’s no way of trying to talk new deals?”

“I’m pretty sure there’s a reason why we don’t talk about sex, honey…” Alex chuckled, both glad that Luna couldn’t understand nor hear anything, because he figured the little girl would grow traumatized if she could understand this conversation. “And I never said people had complained about you in bed. Maybe your lack of sleep has got you reading into things?” At least he could still be a sassy bitch if he had the opportunity. Hyunjin hadn’t stolen that from him along with his patience and his goddamn heart. Hah—funny how they would sometimes go on little sassy banterings, just reading each other to filth… he missed it. He missed him. Ah… now he was sad. Great. “Just because you’ve had bad experiences, it doesn’t mean love isn’t for you, but what do I know. I was just sitting here thinking about how much I miss Hyunjin, so…”

“I know I know, it’s just not easy you know, I need to not get my hopes high and see what happens if I get lucky then awesome if I don’t well at least I didn’t expect something greater.” Rowan sat down next to him “I know you said you didn’t want to talk about it here. But what happened?” They were out in a festival where there were thousands of people and that number made them insignificant, mathematically it was very likely that there were at least 5% of the people here were sad or had cried during the event, so if Alex wanted to express himself, he could do it and people were very likely to not notice them. He felt sad to see his friend like he was, he deserved the best and sadly sometimes deserving the best didn’t come right away or easily. 

“We’ve been friends long enough, but if you say so, then you say so.” He chuckled softly. The fact that Rowan said that being dominant was a dark side was enough to confirm Alex’s theory, but yeah, well, he couldn’t know for sure. You never know the person you’re spending time with, right? Again, he smiled down at Luna. He should probably offer to babysit more often, right? This baby was amazing and she seemed to like him well enough, so maybe they could be each other’s buddies while dad got lucky. “I just said I’d look after her?” He furrowed his brows. “Did you not hear that? And work I get it, but you can’t use your daughter as an excuse to not going out, so.”

He chuckled “We don’t talk about sex that often, hey at least the people I have slept with have never complain, well at least with the ones I didn’t pay, I mean the other ones weren’t exactly very reliable since money was involved.” He figured out Alex sex life was probably more interesting, but his ego always wanted to believe that he probably suck at dates but at least the sex was good and interesting, but it wasn’t really like he had people to ask. He smiled “I will love that, you can take her out as many times as you want Alex, but really the time I would probably use it to sleep. I not it seems that way I just don’t have seemed the point, the first girl I loved and ask to marry me, end up cheating me and wanting my money, I knew her for almost 6 years, so that didn’t work, I went out to act like a normal guy, ended up having a one night thing with a girl, got her pregnant, started dating her, ask her to marry me, in a very short time and well now she’s gone, let’s just agree that love is not really for me, so sleeping sounds like a more stable thing to do, I can go out to the movies, have dinner and sleep early, which will be a great day out.” 

Funny how it took a broken heart to get everyone’s overcoming speeches. Although Alex appreciated his friend’s words, it was hard to say something back, because things were still fresh and he was still in pain, so even if he believed in Rowan, it still stung. “Can we change the subject? I don’t want to start crying over my ex-boyfriend in the middle of a festival while feeding my niece, but thank you.” Because what was there to say other than ‘thank you’, right? Especially since Alex didn’t want to think about Hyunjin and worry about bumping into him today of all days. “You’re not just vanilla, but you’re also not dom enough to be a daddy. It’s okay, though. It’s not like being dominant would’ve made you special or less special.” He chuckled. “I’m always available for watching her if you ever want to go back to the dating scene. Having a child doesn’t mean giving up on your life. And you’re not alone.”

Rowan took the thank you his friend reply to his words and did as he asked and changed the subject right away. “How do you know that? I can have my dark side you know.” He laughed, Rowan hasn’t had sex since Candy died, which was weird and he was now a masturbate in the shower sad guy, but it wasn’t like he didn’t like sex, he missed but his life no longer had time for that other than the shower part and a 20 minutes porn clip every now and then. “It’s okay, man, for going out with someone it would mean actually going out to parties or stuff like that and right now is work and Luna, the rest of the free time is for sleeping and maybe a movie.”