Designer Drugs

Shit. Well…do you like him? Do you…see him as more of a friend?

I... I think I do. But we're no good for each other. I'll just end up taking him down with me. He's too good. Too nice for me. I'm not worth all of the nice things he says about me.

What? Rowan, no. That’s the complete opposite of what you do. What happened? 

I ... well Isaac kissed me and I kissed him back and now everything is a mess.

That doesn’t sound so convincing. Care to tell me what’s going on?

Nothing important. Just fucking up friendships is all. I'm a terrible person Mara.

I do in the morning, i’m thinking about just moving into the Grill.

You're there often enough. It's like a second home or something. Maybe you should set up a cot in the back.

I’m just staying in with my dad, no parties for me.

That sounds nice. You don't have to work?

Or the people who just hate holiday cheer in general— add heat to that and you get a perfect monster.

Exactly. I'm sure you'll end up seeing your fair share of brawls tomorrow. I'm debating whether it's worth going out or not. I'm not sure yet.

Touche, I just thought the 4th was excluded.

If anything that's when people get really weird because you've got people who don't really know the holiday and then people who use the holiday to get totally shit faced.

Eh, people get weird around Holidays no matter where you are.

…Oh, I’m so sorry, Ro. Just been thinking. [takes the coffee, taking in a sip] How are you, how have you been?

Yeah, I know how that is. [she takes a sip of her own coffee, sighing]  Uh, yeah. I've been... I've been doing okay I guess. Nothing good. You?

Hmm? I'm sorry, you were saying something...

I asked you where you've been... for the third time in about 3 minutes. Your coffee is getting cold.

An anchor. I've heard that before but I still don't understand it. How do you know that? I've already set Jackson off and now I don't even know where he is. He won't even be in the same room as me and I can't let that happen with you. I just can't. You don't know that Isaac. People have been trying to save me since I was 12 and could finally speak my mind. Those people are dead now and I'm even more broken then I've ever been. I'm not worth saving. Every time someone wants to save me they get hurt or worse. They die. I've never heard that before. That is all true but what if... what if it doesn't work? I don't think I actually can be saved. Isaac I may be many things but perfect is no where even near that list. I don't know how you see what you see in me. The person you describe sounds nothing like me at all. I don't want to be your downfall. It would kill me to see that. Are you sure we can do this?

Wait - is that a you don’t like me like that because I’m okay with that.

No! No, that's not what I meant at all. That was an I like you too much to break you even more.

If you work they still can be.

Shit. Exactly how long do you work at the grill for?

Not even one. It’s like you experience freedom— get to know what it’s like to do nothing and then get smacked back to reality and early mornings.

At least the mornings don't have to be so early now that it's Summer time. I live for the weekends and getting away from my house.

If someone tells me they do i’m going to think they have serious issues.

Exactly. There is no possible reason to like a Monday. I don't think even a TV show would be worth it.

Okay… [carefully begins to follow Rowan, worried about what might happen]

The living room will work. No ones here except the maids, who I just sent away. I haven't heard from Jackson so he's probably still out... [she trailed off, unsure of how to start] Look Isaac. I like you. I really do. But... I'm not good for you.

Are you sure? Because I totally understand if you want me to leave.

Positive. I... I don't want you to leave. I just think we should talk. Somewhere where people won't over hear us. Come on.