on scorched wings we fly

BIOGRAPHY

TW: domestic violence, sexual assault, anxiety, eating disorders, mention of death, illness, drugs

Rowan was born to Cassandra and Tony Kingsley in the early summer of 1992, at which point things were already strained between the two-some because of Tony’s alcohol problem and Cassie’s generally meek personality. Rowan’s brother took a leading role in her care from a very young age, not just because her dad was useless, but also because their mother was so distracted by her need to please Tony that she dropped the ball often. Both her brother and her saw things they certainly shouldn’t have, were told things that no children should be told, and occasionally went without for no reason other than Tony liking control, but he never hurt them physically.  However, he did hurt their mother.  

Less than a year after her brother turned 18 and moved out of the house, their mother died of an aneurysm suddenly and unexpectedly.  Despite how Rowan’s father treated her mother, the loss of her broke him and send him on a 3 month bender that only ended because he was booked with vehicular manslaughter and his 3rd DWI.  This led to Rowan being unceremoniously dumped into the system while her father’s trial pended and they attempted to find family members that didn’t exist to take her on.  Luckily, Rowan only spent a few months in foster care before the court allowed her brother to assume custody over her.

Her brother had been living in Augusta since leaving their parents’ home, working as a tattoo artist and had found a family within a non criminal motorcycle club that had welcomed him with open arms.  From the moment she joined her brother in Augusta, the Valencia became her family.  The women, wives and daughters of the organization were the people who taught her everything she knows about being a girl, doing make up, doing her hair, navigating boys.  (This is probably why she went through a blue eyeshadow phase at 17).

Rowan is a textbook overachiever and perfectionist, she always had all As, was always in 6 clubs, and held officer positions in every single one including the dance team.  While she did hold officer positions, she never really was one to take front and center–she prefers the positions of the people behind the scenes keeping things together.  (secretary, treasurer, anything that has to do with organizational skills.  

At 18 she received a full scholarship to NYU and left Augusta and her brother for the first time to go to school first time.  She lived in the dorms all 4.5 years and graduated with a degree in English, minoring in Psychology.  While over her high school years she wrote a lot, and even published one of her short stories in a local newspaper, she didn’t write her first full novel until she went away to college at 18.  No one ever read that novel, and it hit the trash during its 5th round of editing. If you ever ask Rowan what she’s afraid of, she’ll tell you losing control again.  She notes two prominent times of completely losing control over her life, one fairly recent, and the other while she was away at college.  While she was away, she went out fairly often with her friends and one night someone slipped something into her drink.  

Nothing happened, she made it home without incident, but the way it made her feel, the way she felt victimized or the potential of being so set her off.  She had two drop three of her classes and extend her time in college an extra semester because of how hard she spun out, trying to control things that she wouldn’t typically even think about.  She started her senior year 20 pounds lighter with 0% of the friends she had started her Junior year with. While she was away at college her brother became a father, which meant frequent trips home to visit and help out with her niece who quickly meant enough to her to be her own.    

She returned home from school at 23 and worked in a bakery until she could live off of her cookie business (at 25 her cookie business was self sufficient).   While she was growing her bakery cookie business, she began writing her first professional novel and completed it the same year she quit her job at the bakery.  She used contacts she had gained while attending NYU and by the time she blew out birthday candles the next year she had sold the book and was dropped into the whirlwind that was publishing and promoting her first book.  While it changed her life or the better and got her foot in the door with the publishing world, publishing her book also led to the the single most traumatizing thing she has ever experienced.  

While she was marketing her book, the marketing manager became very demanding of Rowan and her time, which often led to them being together very late at night.  One night, while out of town for a book reading, he pushed himself on Rowan.  Without going into detail, this assault led to the second occurrence of Rowan losing complete control and her life suffering because of it.  After the assault, Rowan threatened to blow the whistle, and in return he threatened her career so he still holds his position with the company and up until her departure he was still her marketing manager.  Speaking of her departure, it came as she finished her second book and the marketing department of the publishing company she had been with all but demanded another book tour with the same marketing manager that had violated her.  At that point, Rowan essentially threw everything to the wind and has been hiding out in the little beach town her brother and her had frequented for vacations over the years.  The woman spent her profits from her last book to buy a little beach house that she would spend her days fixing up while she spent her nights trying her damndest to write something good enough to sell anonymously.

TENDENCIES

Because of how contentious Rowan’s early childhood was, she has a pretty anxious mind that is always running on 100.  Her thoughts come a mile a minute and they can be pretty difficult to stop.  Melatonin is her best friend.  

When she loses control over things in her life (hELLO we meet again control-less childhood) she controls everything she can, and that manifests differently every time.  Controlling what she eats to the point of malnourishment, controlling every single word of what she’s writing, putting herself on lockdown until whatever she’s working on is      p e r f e c t.  

She fixates on her mistakes, in high school if she answered to the wrong name during roll she would be thinking about it for the rest of the day.

She bakes in excess when she’s trying to think through something, the measurements and muscle memory movements help calm her brain into being able to process whatever is on her mind.

She’s always been a writer, from the very first time she had to write in her 4th grade ELA class.  That only grew through Middle and High School creative writing classes.  She’s always loved exploring the stories and that it was something that she could perfect through six or seven round of editing.

Sticky notes cover her bedroom walls because of how quickly her thoughts come and go, her ideas for books do NOT come in order and she can often be found starring at her walls with her little scribbles trying to figure out what order they should go in.

For someone who would be considered the ‘bright & shiny’ type, she has a thing for researching and watching shows about serial killers.  She can rattle off facts like its her day job.  

Because of how quiet she can be, sometimes folks assume she’s innocent or that she doesn’t know anything, but in reality the opposite is true.  She’s spent so much time watching and analyzing everyone and everything that she knows much more that she lets on.

She learned how to play guitar in college (not very well) and is a pretty damn good singer, but she’d never be the type to want to be front and center in front of a crowd.  She mostly uses these talents as a means to an end in writing mini stories with lyrics.  It appeases her in the in between period of having finished a book and being able to start a new one.

All floral, all the time.  Enough said.

GENUINELY afraid of birds and giant frogs

WANTED CONNECTIONS

**ex boyfriend, who she really fucked up with.  message for more**

neighbors who take her under their wing

people with kids for her to spoil

drinking buddy

someone to suck at badminton with