JEDWARDLY

ARIES: extremely & utterly self-centered, delusional to reality & others, completely obsessed with some selfish, goal, closed-minded & thinks they are the only one who is ever right, purposely mean to make themselves feel powerful, simplifies everything out of laziness, avoids anything that bothers them, doesn’t know the meaning of caution, dangerously impulsive from lack of grounding

TAURUS: obsessively combative, uses arguments & disagreements as pleasure, never satisfied with anything, picks apart people’s lives to find their faults & strategically uses it against them to cover their own insecurities, extremely bitter w/ life probably from past traumas, revengeful like no other, just wants to be loved but is brutal to anyone they let close enough in order to test their loyalty

GEMINI: fucks with people for enjoyment, scheming, sees how much they can get away with, can be sociopathic, completely untrustable, obsessed with gossip, sadism is a game to them, the worst can be extremely hostile & cannot accept ever being wrong or the word no, loud & argumentative, can easily become irate, ruthless, revengeful, unfaithful, wishy-washy about the simplest things

CANCER: lives in a closed-minded shell their entire lives, extremely sensitive & fragile but acts like a fucking asshole to everyone to give the false illusion of a hard exterior, obsessed with exterior opinions & uses them to fill their lack of self esteem, soaks in their misery, extremely judgmental of others but ignorant of their own faults and refuses to face themselves out of weakness

LEO: the ultimate egotist, lives their life as a fame game collecting friends, goals, compliments etc to feed their ever-increasing lust, their selfish behavior is unstoppable & will never end, everyone hates them but they don’t care bc there’s always more people to get them off, takes showing off to another dimension, hates their lack of contentment w/ life so they fill themselves with constant false senses of accomplishment

VIRGO: bitter and cold, nothing is ever good enough for them bc one flaw is enough to throw it/them away, the bad side of a perfectionist, sees the dark in everything, the ultimate pessimist bc they’ll never fix the world or themselves, obsessive like a mad scientist that’ll never find the secret key to his mystery, pushes everyone away until he only has himself left to scrutinize into oblivion

LIBRA: the dictionary definition of volatility, the littlest thing will make them think the world is falling apart, can lose themselves very easily, everything has to go their way or they’ll throw a temper tantrum, acts like a spoiled preteen girl, serious self-esteem issues bc they know how fragile they are, runs away from commitment or clings to people for dear life, will worry about something they couldn’t fix for years

SCORPIO: the ultimate self-destructor, the worst will also destroy everything around them in the process, drowns in self pity & the emotions of their past, toys with suicide, thinks they’re better than absolutely everyone, locks themselves away from the world entirely, avoids human contact, can be obsessed with psychic magic & the illusion of dark evil only for the selfish power, thinks everyone is out to get them, the epitome of paranoia

SAGITTARIUS: flight-risk like no other, completely unloyal & lacks the slightest bit of empathy, reckless to the point of fatal catastrophe -no exaggeration, blunt and cold, hurts others while running away from their own problems, carelessly spends money looking for their next adventure, always dangerously looking for freedom but can never seem to find it, a trainwreck to everything in their path, many of these die young from careless behavior

CAPRICORN: dull & ignorant, obsessed with some kind of mundane thing like money, material acquisition, success, or physical achievement like fitness, rugged & inflexible on the outside to hide major inner insecurities, pushes themselves to the ultimate limit to try to be content inside, ego complex, uses people viciously to achieve their goals, extremely stubborn, can be violent and aggressive toward loved ones from psychological trauma

AQUARIUS: ice cold sociopaths, their entire sense of self-worth comes from other people’s opinions, nice to everyone but cares for no one, uses their loved ones to literally climb their backs to success, followers, blends into social stigmas & stereotypes to avoid being disliked, breaks at the slightest negative criticism, will act like nothing’s wrong as someone’s bleeding all over them, completely lacks warmth & humanity but acts like it’s their greatest traits

are you spongebob or squidward I can’t tell

Real Friends // Late Nights In My Car

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