GONE OFF

*   TAKEN FROM THE BOOK ‘ AND I DARKEN ‘ , CHANGE PRONOUNS AS YOU WISH !

❝ I will cut out your tongue and swallow it. ❞

❝ You will most likely choke to death on your own blood, which will be unfortunate. ❞

❝ I will be both husband and wife and therefore not a widow to be pitied. ❞

❝ Her spine was steel. Her heart was armor. Her eyes were fire. ❞

❝ What will you let be taken away so that you, too, can have power? ❞

❝ Some victories are merely defeat wearing the wrong clothing! ❞

❝ Souls and thrones are irreconcilable. ❞

❝ I cannot afford to lose you, too.❞

❝ You cannot lose something you do not own. ❞

❝ They are less than the mud. ❞

❝ If anyone is going to kill you, it will be me. Understand? ❞

❝ The price of living seems to always be death. ❞

❝ I think of you like a sister. ❞

❝ We cannot always have what we want, no matter how much we want it… ❞

❝ I am the dragon. ❞

❝ You are the only real thing in my life. ❞

❝ Where are you idiots taking me? ❞

❝ I am going to start sleeping with a knife. ❞

❝ If you had had a knife, you would have killed me! ❞

❝ The sooner you stop fighting, the easier your life will be. ❞

❝ I will burn your city to the ground.. ❞

❝ You once told me some lives are worth more than others. ❞

❝ How many deaths before the scales tip out of our favors? ❞

❝ Your are so pretty. Like delicate butterfly beneath my boot.  ❞

❝ You are so mad. Like a rabid hound that needs to be put down. ❞

❝ You look ridiculous. Armor suits you far more than silk. ❞

❝ Take me with you, and I will wear armor the whole time. ❞

❝ There are other ways to beat someone than with fists. ❞

❝ I must tell you that I do not care in the slightest about your petty jealousies.  ❞

❝ I cannot be around you for fear you will finally see what is written across my heart. ❞

❝ You love him like a flower loves the sun. ❞

❝ Nothing holds me here. ❞

❝ It was a lonely, cold thing to live without expectations. ❞

❝ You would not let anyone else kill me. ❞

❝ That honor is mine, and mine alone. ❞

❝ A dragon burned everything around herself until it was purified in ash. ❞

❝ How can you speak of them like they are matters of simple mathematics, a problem to be solved? ❞

❝ Those same fists had always defied everything expected of her. ❞

❝ You think I am worthless? ❞

❝ I can do things you could never dream of. ❞

❝ Women who go into the harem do not come out. It is a permanent position. ❞

❝ I am not going in as a woman. I am going in as an assassin. ❞

❝ Do not thank me. All I did was teach them to fear me. ❞

❝ Next time you hit first, you hit harder, you make certain that your name means fear and pain. ❞

❝ I will not be here to save you again. ❞

❝ You are precious to me. ❞

❝ What is so wrong with wanting to take care of you?  ❞

❝ If I needed or wanted to be taken care of, I would be no better than the women in here! ❞

❝ You and your brother are the only people who truly know me. ❞

❝ It belongs to me, and I belong to it. ❞

❝ People respond to kindness. ❞

❝ They trust a smile more than a promise that you will leave them choking on their own blood. ❞  

❝ It felt like fighting. It felt like falling. It felt like dying. ❞

❝ Belief is not weakness. Faith is the greatest strength we can have. ❞

❝ I still have bruises from the last time. ❞

❝ A true conversion is always only between a man and God. ❞

❝ There is no such thing as cheating. There is only winning or losing. ❞

❝ Weakness is an irresistible lure. ❞

❝ Quit screaming or I will let her eat your supper, too. ❞

❝ And you would be unmarriageable? ❞

❝ Do not make me knock your turban off. ❞

❝ Have you been gone? I had not noticed. ❞

❝ I luxuriated in the blessed quiet that you left in your wake. ❞

❝ You cried yourself to sleep every day. ❞

❝ Carve out a life for yourself however you can. No one will do it for you. ❞

❝ Why do you have to destroy everything good we have here? ❞

❝ The stars were static, still and cold in the night, all the fire gone from the sky.  ❞

❝ Love was a weakness, a trap. ❞

❝ What would you sacrifice for power? ❞

❝ I stopped knowing what to fight against. ❞

❝ What exactly does a friend do? ❞

❝ Yes, but my promise is more sincere than your smiles. ❞

❝ I have never been so delighted as I was today. ❞

❝ What stones laid in childhood become the foundation legacies are built on? ❞

GAME GRUMPS SENTENCE STARTERS. 

❝ God, what if we just fucked one day? ❞

❝ Don’t sass me in front of the internet. ❞

❝ Follow your stupid fucking dreams. ❞

❝ Come at me scrub lord, I’m ripped. ❞

❝ I just wanna have sex with space. ❞

❝ Get in the tub with me, daddy. ❞

❝ Will you just relax and let me kill for money? ❞

❝ That sounds like your problem. Fuck you. ❞

❝ Stay in school. Don’t do drugs. Eat your teeth. ❞ 

❝ Make like a tree and fucking die. ❞

❝ Dude just…just pity laugh at least. ❞

❝ Man, Club Penguin’s gotten weird. ❞

❝ We are like the Stephen Kings of stupid. ❞

❝ Why do you enjoy watching me suffer so? ❞

❝ Do I have to jerk you off to blow your mind? ❞

❝ I haven’t had so much fun since I killed my parents. ❞

❝ Unfortunately I had sex with a guy/girl over the weekend. ❞

❝ What’s a vegetarian zombie say? GRAAAAAAAINS. ❞

❝ Revenge is a best dish served fuck you. ❞

❝ Who wears pants anymore? So 2015. ❞

❝ I need an ice cream sandwich and a gentle blowjob. ❞

❝ Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya. ❞

❝ The bananas has gone bad! ❞

❝ I cared for those bananas! I raised them with my own two feet! ❞

❝ Did you know I’m a professional joke? My life is a joke. ❞

❝ What if everyone just had constant helicopter dick? ❞

❝ [ name ], does getting me wet fill you with determination? ❞

❝ I can’t prove that someone ISN’T a reptilian. ❞

❝ Wouldn’t it be funny if, like, you lost a family member? ❞

❝ These balls are coming at me fast and furious. It’s like that movie, ‘Speed’. ❞ 

❝ Call me One Direction ‘cause my relevancy is dropping by the day. ❞ 

❝ One time I killed a person and I didn’t report it to the police. ❞

❝ I wanna take a girl to the Grand Canyon, fuck her, and throw her in. ❞ 

❝ Nothing like a gunshot wound to the face to really mellow someone out. ❞ 

❝ If I can’t be the best, I sure as hell can be the worst! ❞ 

❝ [ name ], I’m on a date with a guy/girl right now and you’re embarrassing me. ❞

❝ I’ve made a decision. I’m gonna in the kitchen, gonna open the dishwasher, and I’m gonna climb inside. ❞

❝ I do apologize for my actions, even though they were totally and completely justified. ❞

❝ I could pee on this couch, right now, no problem, while looking you directly in the eyes.❞ 

❝ Look, you tell a couple jokes as a dad and suddenly everyone’s like ‘you’re making dad jokes.’ ❞

❝ All of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are blue, except for three of them. And there are four. ❞ 

❝ And Abraham said unto Moses, ‘Bro, dude, aliens.’ ❞

❝ I’m gonna throw you out the window. We don’t even have any windows in this room…I’m gonna carve out a window and throw you through it. ❞ 

❝ DO IT YOU SACK OF SHIT! – Sorry. That didn’t come out as encouraging as I meant it to. ❞

❝ [ name ], if there’s one thing I can be totally honest about, it’s that I would happily lie to your face.❞

❝ If I took pole-dancing, I would be worried that it would be too erotic for everybody else. ❞

❝ Next time we make love, [ name ], would you please refer to me as your sweet cakey treasure? ❞   

❝ I try to show at least one other human-being my butt hole every single day. ❞

❝ The only people who don’t like sluts are the people who don’t get any. ❞ 

❝ Have you ever though of a career in driving people fucking insane? Because you are already a PRO at it. ❞ 

❝ I am actively looking for ways to get you to shut the fuck up. ❞

❝ First of all, you have to stop calling it ‘Mary Jane.’ That’s the first rule of stonerdom. People will think you’re a fucking narc. ❞

❝ First of all, no one says ‘pot-eyes’, you fuckin’ narc. ❞

❝ If by OK you mean like on the inside I’m just going ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!’ then yes, I’m quite OK ❞

❝ When you walk outside there are three elements of nature that you must avoid: snow, wind, and bees. ❞ 

❝ its all fun and games until its not that anymore ❞

❝ i grow more powerful every day and by powerful i mean sad ❞

❝ only the good die young? phew good thing that i am so incredibly awful ❞

❝ if theres one thing i dont know about its everything ❞

❝ heres some general life advice, when the sun hits the ground find somewhere to hide ❞

❝ surfs up. hail satan ❞

❝ after 13 long years congress approved a bill that will finally let the bodies hit the floor ❞

❝ hey kids, i know youre struggling right now but im here to tell you, everything gets worse forever ❞

❝ in a way aren’t we all responsible for my actions ❞

❝ some say love is a river, me i say things that make sense ❞

❝ if your newborn baby has a full head of hair that means it is a business baby and is ready to enter the world of finance ❞

❝ i may be dumb as hell but i am also insanely stupid ❞

❝ take every thing you own and throw it into the ocean who cares ❞

❝ you know the old saying, boys will be trash ❞

❝ one of these days i will float up off into damn space and no one can stop me, not even gravity or nasa ❞

❝ if i could shoot anything with a gun i would probably shoot another gun, the hunter become the hunted ❞

❝ lets forget about the bodies for a second. what do you really want to let hit the floor? your feelings perhaps? ❞

❝ i’ve seen a lot of things in my time, which i blame on me leaving my eyes open. things got a lot better once i decided to just close them ❞

❝ learning from mistakes is for people who recognise that they make mistakes. i dont give a shit ❞

❝ there are few things in life that can’t be achieved with occult dark magic ❞

❝ how to predict the future: think of the worst possible thing that could happen ❞

❝ halloween is forever bitch ❞

❝ who are the real criminals, me who does the crimes or the people who hurt my feelings all the time ❞

❝ looks like things are always happening once again ❞

❝ i am going to lay completely still on the forest floor until either things start going my way or i disintegrate into nothing ❞

❝ im sure im going to ruffle some feathers with this but given the choice between good times and bad times i would like to have the good times ❞

❝ the best way to solve problems is to create more problems until you are dead ❞

❝ tired of people always telling me go to hospital and that i’ve lost a lot of blood, its my severe head injury not yours stay out of it ❞

❝ i hit the hay all day mother fucker. 24 hour sleep cycle. if you awake you a fake. its bed time bitch ❞

❝ i hope one day i will find love, or a cool looking leaf. either one ❞

❝ piles of uneaten candy will signal im dead ❞

❝ the hairless rat is not a new species, merely a result of my failed scam of shaving rats and selling the hair back to them at a high price ❞

❝ we let the bodies hit the floor then what? next we’ll have bodies hitting walls, roofs, you name it, bodies will be hitting it ❞

❝ sometimes the people that hurt us the most are the ones swinging big knives around while screaming and trying to cut us ❞

❝ yeah yeah blame the guy whos dna matches with the dna found at the crime scene. surprise surprise ❞

❝ for as long as i can remember i have been able to remember things, maybe even before that ❞

❝ yeah i looked both ways before crossing the street, i looked both ‘handsome’ and ‘radiant’, too bad i got hit by that car ❞

❝ stop living in a dream world and start living in the regular nightmare world all of the rest of us live in ❞

❝ blood moon, very cool to see. and whats the sun doing again? the same regular thing for the millionth time? what a load of worthless trash ❞

❝ if existing for an amount of time has taught me anything its that i have no idea whats going on ❞

❝ hurled my bible at the paper boy and knocked him off his bike with the real news ❞

❝ i’ll go in whatever direction the wind takes me, and if i am too heavy for wind to move me around i will probably just lay down and die here ❞

❝ i’ve said it before and i will say it again, i think people should give me hundreds of dollars and feel good about doing it ❞

❝ wow, i’ve never thought about it like that before. and i never will. i’ve already forgotten what you said, good bye forever ❞

❝ stop being so defensive i am just trying to hit you with weapons ❞

❝ dont betray me and act surprised when i get revenge on you, thats the number one consequence of betraying me. everyone knows it. even babies ❞

❝ blood is just nature’s red water that flys out when you make a mistake. relax and enjoy the experience for once ❞

❝ reached the limit of what you can do with imagination? why not try occult dark magic ❞

❝ if anyone needs me i will be laying face down on the ocean floor ❞

                     ❝I’M THE PROPHET OF THE BEAST❞

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