#𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐘𝐏𝐒𝐄 . . . ⅋ I ᵂᴵᴸᴸ 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 ᴸᴵᴷᴱ I 𝗔𝗟𝗪𝗔𝗬𝗦 have, ﹕ (independent,) ˡᵒʷ activity blog for 𝗦𝗛𝗔𝗗𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗛𝗘𝗗𝗚𝗘𝗛𝗢𝗚. ⸻ divergent, timeline-flexible; principally GAMESVERSE, with tentative influence from the anime. expect slow replies; at the moment, I prioritize developing relationships ooc & lore-dumping about extremely niche subjects on this blog. do note that this blog is entirely divorced from Paramount's canon. furthermore, due to the content discussed, I am firm about my no minors policy. this blog is strictly 18+. found also at @767mphs.
𝚊 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚍𝚢 𝚒𝚗 the art of the manmade machine, nihilism, repetition compulsion, todestrieb, suicidality externalized as saviorism, the past as a hothouse of ghosts, weaponhood vs. personhood, somatic backlogs, mythologization (& subsequent death) of Her, martyrdom in immortal flesh, & the bearing of prophecies. . . . pinboard.
𝚊𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚜 lightdash / hammeringheart.
𝐈. this is a mutuals-only, selective, & LOW-ACTIVITY blog for Shadow the Hedgehog. Iam strictly gameverse with x influences, though mostly headcanon-based; do note that I am completely divorced from movie-canon & disregard IDW's/Archie’s treatment of Shadow, generally speaking. penned by Merlin, 24/he&they/EST.
* if possible, please use tone tags with me, particularly for instances of sarcasm. otherwise, please do not approach or interact with me on the basis of being "mean," even if jokingly; it is hurtful & made more complicated by the modality of text. I know I am fundamentally a silly blog about a talking hedgehog, but I do take my hobby seriously, & I enjoy thinking about the implications of the world shadow lives in. I also have memory problems. if I follow you twice & you are not interested in writing with me, feel free to block me; just know I am not trying to annoy you.
𝐈𝐈. psd featured is ALIEN by monstercoms, found in this masterpost here; the art in my pinned can be found by this artist here (gentle NSFW warning for their account); & my pfp, albeit being official art, is done by Korn. I will majorly be iconless & this blog will be light on graphics, due to constraints on my time & general burnout with photoshop (lmao) ...
𝐈𝐈𝐈. I will keep this simple, because we all understand basic etiquette: it applies here. do not godmod, assume, forceship, etc… I also don't do drama. short of there being someone truly harmful / problematic in the RPC (I'm sure you all understand what I mean here), I have no interest in promulgating callout posts for petty drama. please keep me out of it; if I am interacting with someone harmful, a dm will suffice.
do not lift the headcanons/concepts on my blog at all. period. while other people may not care, I've been lifted from exhaustively in the past & as such I find this blatantly unacceptable behavior. if you must, just ask. the answer will be no, but at least show me respect as a creative by asking first.
furthermore, if you are someone who is perpetually occupied with what other people are writing, then this blog is not for you. I am not interested in engaging with the discourse about the topic either. keep it away from me & off my blog, as I will be doing the same. be smart & be critical. we live in an age where the government believes that it has the right to intrude upon our private affairs, & this puritan ideology inherently stems from Christofascism, which actively harms the very groups you claim to protect. my view on this is not up for debate.
𝐈𝐕. Shadow is very powerful. even his existence within the universe he was conceived in has been repeatedly nerfed because Sega realizes they wrote themselves into a corner. you can pick a fight with him, but expect to lose if your muse is otherwise ordinary or human--his entire being is predicated on flimsy & ever-changing in-universe explanations of "Chaos" energy (which functions similarly to ki as it's depicted in DBZ, with some fantastical elements attached).
𝐕. I prioritize developing extensive plots & ooc/ic relationships over on-the-fly threads. I have tried to do them; it just doesn't work for me. the best way to write with me is by plotting with me. that being said, feel free to send an ask meme--just go in with the expectation that I will most likely reach out to you about it. I also have not read the comics in any extensive manner... I am more than happy to write with comic muses, but i just ask for patience with my lore gaps.
𝐕𝐈. furthermore, I tend not to acknowledge Shadow’s characterization within the last 10-ish years anyway, borrowing liberally from Japanese & Western canon re: his psyche & personality, infused with my own interpretations & sci-fi tropes. most inspiration is taken directly from Adventure 2, Heroes/Sonic X, 06, &tentatively SHTH 05 (with heavy, HEAVY modifications).
𝐕𝐈𝐈. there won’t be any sexual nsfw here; I understand Shadow’s age is nebulous, as are the ages of the rest of the characters. for my own comfort, Shadow will generally be portrayed as 21+, as I write him post-Forces.
on-screen, Shadow is shipped with @/lightdash, &, following Sonic’s death, Amy at @/hammeringheart.
𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈. other content will be discussed, such as: death/child death, all things military, amnesia, dissociation, discussions of trauma, suicidality, & violence/mentions of gore (immortality comes with nasty implications), & general Shadow the Hedgehog content..
I will most likely not follow any blogs back who are based in the following rpcs: AOT/SNK, H*zbin Hotel, & Resident Evil.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I haven't yet found a place to put this gift my friend Alex drew for me on my blog but I just want you all to see it because it's just so. gah. it exactly captures the vibe of my Shadow I attempt to convey through my writing / metas ... 🥹🥹🥹🥹
nobody asked for Shadow's "labyrinth" (a la PMMM), but the concept is something I have floated occasionally: a disjointed landscape, the entrance flanked by the impressive view of space (black all around, & of course stars), intertwined with loose cables & cavalcades of white lab coats; the "witch" itself at the center of it all is a creature that loosely resembles the Biolizard, but upon defeat, unravels, collapses in ribbons of flesh & fascia to reveal a different core - a broken moon. its nucleus is a blonde woman, gauze tied over her weeping eyes. her feet never touch the ground. she holds two wands, a la the World, & terrorizes you with illusions until you go mad & she consumes you. confusingly, Shadow is nowhere to be found, save for the glimpse of red eyes beneath the gauze ...
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Ame had sent me a headcanon ask on my old blog about Shadow's love language/perspective of love, & since it's been a while since my last meta where I discussed his relationship with & to love, I figured I would revisit it as my portrayal has crystallized a bit more since I wrote it. here's what I wrote of this topic last year, when my portrayal was much newer, yet I still feel is relevant (with reference to Sonic as Ame's is my main ship):
love is something [Shadow] only felt - will only feel - with Maria. a little childhood fantasy that he once believed in & let go. Sonic feels like solidity, presence, reminds him of skin tougher after scarring & bodies resting beside each other on the battlefield, & that's a hell of a lot more real & more valuable than love.
there's a reason I changed this blog's bio when I made the move, & that's because I wanted to make more of a tangible effort at demonstrating how love is a core characteristic of Shadow's being. chiefly because he was conceived from it & is thus composed of it, the way we are composed of air & water - both an innocent, whimsical kind of love from an imprisoned, dreamy girl, & a manic, desperate kind from a scientist whose entire livelihood was dedicated to saving that very girl. though GUN's purpose for Shadow was less than noble, his conception was rather insulated from them, due to Gerald's interference (this is something I must explain at a later date - his descent into desperate, grief-stricken madness due to increasing pressure & interception from his superiors, which in turn caused his already frenetic mind to unravel). as the Project's timeline progressed, he was unable to protect Shadow from GUN's agenda after his birth, but his intentions during his creation were, surprisingly, rather noble.
Shadow's creation in the end is owed to a stroke of pure luck on Gerald's end. there is nothing scientific or exact about it. I say this because Shadow cannot be replicated, even if one followed the exact steps (after all, Gerald had documented his process meticulously as all scientists are wont to do); his creation is a unique intersection of two separate hearts & an alien's blood. there had been a bevy of failed experiments that preceded Shadow, & on the eve of failure Gerald encountered his grace from the gallows that singlehandedly rescued his project from obsolescence: the alien patriarch Black Doom, who provided the missing key. regardless, Black Doom's DNA is the smallest piece of Shadow's creation; what he provided was the adhesive to keep him together. what truly built Shadow was Maria & Gerald. their wills imposed on him, both Maria's pure heart & a dreamy love for the place she will never see, & Gerald's raw, ragged devotion; he still bears their fingerprints to this day. Black Doom's influence, while somewhat noticeable, is remarkably scant - most of what we see manifests within Shadow's biology. further, Gerald's study of the Angel Island mural is what unconsciously impacted Shadow's literal appearance & Black Doom's blood simply took that image & corrupted it. all of this is precisely why GUN puzzles over the intricacies of Shadow's existence to this very day, as Gerald did not understand how the emeralds worked & thus was unable to articulate it. it is not scientific or mathematical, just preternatural.
Birds don't sing
The wind doesn't blow
To the pure body
To the perfect existence
the above lyrics inspire my thinking on Shadow's purity. I employ the word purity here solely in a chemical sense - that is to say undiluted, undistilled (as opposed to innocence). it is this feature of Shadow that makes him so dangerous, but it is also the very thing that makes his love so potent. Shadow's love language is one of pure devotion, its components dried blood under nails & burning, exhausted lungs (or his nails in your back - physical intimacy is primary in his romantic self-expression, & predictably he is just as intense in that as he is in all areas of life). this is why he commits himself to others so sparingly, why he lingers on the peripheries of society. he cannot do it without committing the entirety of himself, as he does nothing halfway, only to vascular extremes. that kind of commitment is painful, not just to himself but the other person - imagine witnessing the self-destruction of your beloved in your name; it is a kind of violation, a robbery. there are very few that wouldn't be put off by this biblical, self-apocalyptic level of devotion, I imagine, but if your muse is into that, great! I wrote something brief & underdeveloped touching on this a few months ago that I still feel is relevant & captures my sentiments well:
the essence of [my] Shadow is that he is emotional purity wrapped in a physical vessel of near infinite power. when I speak of the purity of Shadow's emotions, I don't mean in the sense of content (to be sure, Shadow is prone to bouts of paroxysmal rage that he tries very hard to contain; this very repression contributes to their intensity in the first place) but rather in a chemical sense: undiluted. love is at the core of Shadow's being. love facilitates every action. that may be difficult to see as an outsider when Shadow portrays himself as indurate, unapproachable, or generally apathetic, but trust that Shadow is, in every sense of the word, a feeling/hyperempathic creature. others will approach a line or boundary at some point that cannot be crossed - they have a limit to what they'll do in the expression of love, but the sheer purity of Shadow's emotions entails that he lacks such boundaries [...] he is not deterred (though is still deeply affected) by bloodshed, violence, or brutality, & will use all tools at his disposal to protect ones he loves.
I would like to make the distinction clearly, here: Shadow does not enjoy violence, nor is it his first choice. rather, he acknowledges that he exists in a violent society, & that such a society enshrines (& pays attention to) violence - violence also happens to be the most surgical path from point A to B more often than not, depending on his motives. he is undeterred & is willing to endure such brutality (for love!) despite the ramifications of that choice on the constitution of his soul. that is the essence of Shadow's love (which some might call it obsession or even cannibalism): self-sacrifice, a treason of the self, self-annihilation … certainly, it is not something to be idealized nor is it even really realistic.
despite the enormity of Shadow's love, he is still very specific about his expression of it. he is a very private person & as such his acts of affection are subtle - he will make sure you're well fed, taken care of, provided for. he will put a hand behind your head when he kisses you, drape his jacket over your shoulders when you shudder, or mend your bruises & scrapes with a delicate but surgical touch. unsurprisingly, acts of affection in public render him rigid & uncomfortable. he values his privacy immensely, if only because he hates to think of his loved ones in the crossfire, as his undertakings are rather dangerous & usually end with him neck-deep in unsavory places full of unsavory people (another reason he is particular about who he keeps close - he needs someone who he can rely on to protect themselves in the event he can't, as much as he wishes he could be everywhere at once). you will rarely, if ever, find him giving words of affirmation. to name something is to give it power over you. if Shadow has given you everything else there is to offer, let him keep his autonomy; he's very territorial & vicious over it. the ability to make a promise is not something you will squeeze out of him or steal from him.
making Shadow feel loved is another matter. for the longest time, his perspective on love was quite dismal. as he is so full of it, it makes turning to a cruel & violent world all the more painful, especially when his very first experience with love was so markedly agonizing. I once wrote of it, "[every memory of Maria being draped in the iconography of her death] just reminds Shadow how meeting love is a little like meeting death, in hundreds of ways." as Shadow equates love with devotion, it is only natural that what follows is Shadow viewing the act of loving somewhat intrusive, as he feels that it demands a part of him he can never have back - love is tantamount to fealty in his mind. after all, he will never be able to recover what was stolen from him when Maria was killed; a version of him died that day, too, & thus every encounter with love after that feels more like bracing before a plane crash than any semblance of home or comfort. the only kind he ever knew was given to him by the person who bled & died so he may live. doesn't that explain, then, why you'd walk away with bruises & scratches after he lets you go? why he comes home to you beleaguered & exhausted, knowing the world may sleep peacefully another night?
"My gentle earth is barren now, or nearly. / Harden it well against the loss & change; / Prepare to hold the fastness, since I know / This open self must grow more harsh & strange [...] I contain love as if it were a warhead."
the chase expends itself here, at the dead-end of an alleyway steeped in rainfall soured by oil, leaving Shadow to round the corner in a pathetic climax of spent energy arcing between his fingertips, as if it itself is lashing with impatience. he ignores the toilings of adrenaline inside of him, / summoning a practiced encraty that soothes the yearning, the clamor for barbarity in his chest. in fact, its very appetite makes him dysphoric, & that in of itself gives him pause, waiting for the heat in his blood to settle. "you shouldn't run," Shadow says with all the deadpan flourish of an adjudicator delivering a sentence. "it will just make you tired, & the end result will be the same."
... admittedly, he is curious. he wedges the toe of his shoe beneath the discarded board that made this capture so impossible, kicking it up into his hands in a rare indulgence of interest. it is deceptively lightweight when he turns it over (its exterior still belching smoke from Shadow's arrow), running his fingers over the ragtag seams with a surgeon's precision. homemade, but the hands that built this were skilled - highly skilled. valuable. he recalls the magnets that ferried precious freight across the ARK & the delicate mecca of reactive, microscopic circuits inside of his jet shoes, yet nothing compares to what he holds right now, which prompts him to think: what manner of technology is this ...? the introduction of yet another blindspot in his knowledge unnerves him.
no wonder they don't like you, @bashousen spits. & like striking a metal pole, / the insult reverberates until it spends itself like a bullet.
... so it would seem that the contagion of rumor had spread to this city as well, as he recalls no memory of ever being here before, nor seeing this person's face. the poison planted by Black Doom self-perpetuates, metastasizes as wayward glares & muttered curses, as if Shadow was a walking, eldritch malison dredged from oblivion, / damned to penance characterized by a kind of futility he could only call Sisyphean. his red gaze flits up sharply from the board in his hands, all manner of reaction occluded, remembering with sudden clarity the objective of this chase in the first place. the carious light of the alleyway slants against his shuttered expression, pinning the chased with a clinical, detached regard; his head swivels like a gun being aimed by its shooter. he's deliberating, or rather - (he's floating above it all suddenly, a diplopia of himself: the monstrous, distended sprawl of his own shadow, his fingers against the seam of this impossible technology, / the mountainous lodge in his throat & ... )
"who? you say that like it means anything," comes his glacial response, thinking not of the thousand invisible eyes turned toward him in renunciation but of a crude semblance of softness now fifty years forgotten. his mind at last slips back into itself with a heave, / but not without bleeding along the way. each day he thinks that tenderness becomes more & more indecipherable, / promises & lost radio transmissions - he has done nothing to you; he's just gotten in the way. thus, his resolve hardened again, Shadow closes the gap between himself & his objective with a deceptively easy stride, certain that if the thief managed a miraculous escape, his own perseverance would outlast even him, / who has proven himself to be remarkably slippery. after all, nothing escapes him for long, not when he wills its seizure. at last Shadow hovers over him, rainwater limning the sharpness of his whetted bones, angles cocked forward like a firearm. he pries open the thief's hand, finger by finger, until the prize is his; really, he finds Earthlings’ obsession with having so ridiculously superfluous, & he's certain his disgust shows. he supposes it's pretty for a moment, the golds & the jewels, its artistry resisting the corruption of Metal City's rancid sleaze. that's all pleasure ever is for him, though: / ephemeral, a lit match sputtering against his otherwise inert anhedonia. after his failure to catch flame, Shadow's shoe presses against the thief's chest & pushes him back onto the ground (using no more force than necessary), silently hoping he understands that resistance is purposeless. he pockets the necklace carelessly, idly wondering if Rouge will bemoan the deplorable state it's in - scuffed by his indelicate touch & caked in a fine layer of what he can only assume is sweat. there is never pleasing the insatiable, he thinks.
₊˚⊹ ㅤa collection of loose quotes taken from various characters from hades (supergiant games). these quotes are from the first game of the series. writing/roleplaying prompts. from fluff to angst! feel free to edit as you see fit, especially since some are gendered.
❝ i’m leaving. try and stop me. ❞
❝ that could have gone better. ❞
❝ why can’t you just stay? ❞
❝ i wish you could come with me. ❞
❝ you’re coming with me. ❞
❝ i have to take you back. ❞
❝ but for you, i will be making an exception. ❞
❝ whew… they’re gone. ❞
❝ now, come on, we got places to be! ❞
❝ may the fates favour your journey. ❞
❝ oh you know, i’d rather have my eyes put out, but thanks for offering! ❞
❝ if only… ❞
❝ you should be ashamed of yourself, and learn your place. ❞
❝ ahh, so you are taking pity on me, then? ❞
❝ i’m sorry that it has to be this way. ❞
❝ you’re late. ❞
❝ will i see you soon? ❞
❝ did you miss me? ❞
❝ i’m home. ❞
❝ we’re heading home. ❞
❝ you… came back? ❞
❝ i hope i didn’t keep you waiting very long, did i? ❞
❝ is something wrong? ❞
❝ i can’t believe this. ❞
❝ i’m in your debt. ❞
❝ there’s going to be payback, you know. ❞
❝ … damn you. ❞
❝ this is for you. ❞
❝ do you remember me? my name is—ah, nevermind. ❞
❝ i’m not who you think i am. ❞
❝ keep following that heart of yours. ❞
❝ to hell with this place! ❞
❝ fear is for the weak. ❞
❝ oh, look at you, you poor, poor thing, you’re hurt! ❞
❝ you’re such a sweetheart. ❞
❝ you brought this on yourself. ❞
❝ no need to thank me, mate. ❞
❝ please, i don’t want to do this… ❞
❝ you don’t have to do this… ❞
❝ only the best for you. ❞
❝ i hope you’re right. ❞
❝ gods grant me strength… ❞
❝ that is the worst idea i think i’ve ever heard. ❞
❝ do you understand how little sense that makes? ❞
❝ look what i found! ❞
❝ something’s changed about the beating of your heart. ❞
❝ no wonder they don’t like you. ❞
❝ wish i could be there to see your face. ❞
❝ i’ll earn your favour yet. ❞
❝ how bad could it be? ❞
❝ hello there, handsome. ❞
❝ … this is the cheesiest thing i’ve heard from you. ❞
❝ what has gotten into you? ❞
❝ blood and darkness! ❞
❝ lucky for you, i’ve no pride like many others here. ❞
❝ it’s over. i’m sorry. ❞
❝ go. away. i won’t repeat myself. ❞
❝ i knew your heart was true. ❞
❝ let’s kiss and make up! ❞
❝ mischief, me? oh please! ❞
❝ i don’t know how you can stand this kind of thing… ❞
❝ you tried. that’s what matters. ❞
❝ a man after my own heart… ❞
❝ why won’t you give up? ❞
❝ ever so stubborn, aren’t you? ❞
❝ life and death, one and the same. ❞
❝ you’re running from yourself. again. ❞
❝ what do you want from me? leave me alone. we’ve nothing to discuss anymore. ❞
❝ i cannot bring myself to stay upset with you forever. ❞
❝ the truth is i’m a lover, not a fighter. ❞
❝ i have to see her! ❞
❝ so how goes wilful disobedience of late? ❞
❝ you think all these gifts will make things go back to the way they were? ❞
❝ we’re older now—i’d hope we’re wiser, too. ❞
❝ i have to go. ❞
❝ we were having such a good time! ❞
❝ time is up. ❞
❝ you’re so reckless. ❞
❝ thank you for always keeping me on my toes. ❞
❝ your luck’s run out. ❞
❝ i don’t know why i bother with you, honestly. ❞
❝ may i call you my friend? ❞
❝ i’d like to make a toast, to you! ❞
❝ no need for special thanks. ❞
❝ i’ve some memories i’m not quite ready to give up on yet. ❞
❝ i’ll break your heart. ❞
the blue isn't as blue as he remembers it. it seems Earth is full of these minute disappointments, & she hardly holds her own against the stark, prismatic make-belief that Shadow suspects is just another bitter alm imparted by vendetta. truthfully, half of his time here has been spent trying to exhaustively preserve what little purity remains - though there is very little, if anything, that can replicate the innocence that precedes all the violence. / there is something stolen in that, & that in of itself, he supposes, is the painful part of living: reconciling what is with what was, what is owed but never repaid.
so, he feels out of place here, legs crossed on the bank of a quiet lake, time ticking on his impatience. a weapon feels least at peace with no marching orders, & he feels more akin to a rusted piece of obsolete machinery than a creature dredged from the same heavenly place as the stars when he stands alone in untouched places of nature. his very existence within them feels like an aberration, / a sacrilege; Sonic alongside him at least abuts the perversity of it, & maybe that is simply because that shade of blue is the only one that puts his heart at ease. &, well, if he keeps a discomforted Shadow waiting again (the first time involving himself, a glamorous half-drunk Rouge, & a waiter sulking around his table like a silverfish - nigh unforgivable, he had thought), his principles on unnecessary violence be damned - the blood will flow.
if you aren't here in five, he starts typing, ... I will find you & beat the shit out of you. no, this will incentivize Sonic to drag his feet, as he is wont to do when someone else's time is of the essence, & it's not as if he would take Shadow seriously after his dogmatic commitment to contingent pacifism, though he'd argue time wasted is more than enough of a provocation. after a few minutes of deliberation, he settles with something else: ... I hope for your sake you didn't forget.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
on Shadow's physique/physiology: the initial impression [silhouette] is an augury, the combination of eldritch & robotic qualities ominous - his presence engenders a sort of primeval discomfort. he is defined by Sonic's contours, his antitheses. * watchful, sharp eyes that dilate & shrink with interest (flanked with red), oscillating between attentive & hazed/dissociative; red irises, faintly incandescent [roughly the color of retinal tissue]; his expression unblinking, an almost strigine intensity in his regard of you; his attention more often feels predatory, interrogative, if not blistering. the marked lack of "natural" physiological processes are almost deemed wasteful expressions of energy - his most notable characteristic is his stillness, inert like an unloaded rifle yet still prone to emotional paroxysm. this effect is only bolstered by his low respiration rate (roughly one breath a minute at rest), presenting as a nigh-nonexistent rise & fall of his chest; the effect is simultaneously sepulchral & robotic, though this is owed to an immensely efficient pulmonary/systemic circuit. that being said, his limbs are balanced in visual harmony, of similar approximate height & width; he carries himself with a whetted grace, a sinuous spine like a Cobra. this lethal, balletic poise is contrasted by the jut of broad shoulders, a boxy waist, & the heavy visual weight of stelliform spines. not one inch of his body is wasted on excess, a byproduct of capitalistic tenet; he is scarless & ageless, devoid of story, sinew popping from his wrists & ankles due to the lack of excess fat. his blood is also black - owed to his Black Legion genealogy - which accents his gingiva, tongue, & veins (if they were visible) with a cadaverous, deep gray color. a rare smile - or snarl - reveals sharp incisors & sharper canines. & under the light, his fur adopts an almost cosmic indigo, silken luster.
I don't talk about Shadow/Rouge much, mainly because there is a lovely Rouge that I hope will come back around someday, but I do think their relationship is ... complicated. fandom leaps at any chance to categorize a pairing as romantic/platonic/familial/antagonistic, with no room for nuance (one of my biggest gripes about modern fandom, to be honest; it sterilizes queerness while also promoting blatantly Western ideas about relationships). to Shadow, Rouge is not so much a friend or a love interest insofar as a comrade. coworker blanches the intimacy of their bond, which has been forged & hardened by near-apocalyptic circumstances on three occasions: SA2, Heroes, & 06 (technically Sh05 as well, if you take the route where Shadow encounters her). the Metal Virus technically counts here, too, I suppose, but I am hardly inclined to incorporate comic canon onto this blog, as the character writing is messy, & I am already grappling with the shitty characterization of Shadow bequeathed to us by Forces & the like. nevertheless, comrade(-in-arms) emphasizes what brings him & Rouge together more often than not, which is the less-than-illustrious reality of their "careers" - Shadow's career being that of a kind of forced labor, but I digress.
replaying Heroes has highlighted this ... interesting bond that Rouge & Shadow share. Rouge's behavior here is what puts Shadow off from truly trusting her for so long, given that she knew who he was & deliberately withheld that information from him. to be sure, she couldn't have been sure if Shadow was real or not, but given what he knows of Rouge - her valuing of information as priceless currency, to be exact - he can't help but feel that her lies by omission were a form of manipulation. she was more than happy to follow in Shadow's wrathful, destructive stead if it meant she could fulfill her own goals; this, too, is true of SA2, given she is revealed as a spy. Rouge, however, is granted a special kind of clemency, since Shadow understands better than anyone the stark realities of the dog-eat-dog world of espionage (with a clearer mind, he chalks her behavior up to matters of survival - that is to say, mechanisms that have become so practiced they are integral to your being; Rouge's handling of the matter was merely one of those mechanisms.)
by no means is this a criticism of Rouge's character. there's no point in casting moral judgment on a fictional character first of all, & second of all, I don't blame Rouge for doing what she has to to survive. I just want to point out that Rouge's mercurial loyalty (or rather, consistent loyalty only to herself) is what renders the erasure of 06 all the more tragic; there is a world where she pledged her loyalty to Shadow, only for it to not matter in the end. I don't think Shadow ever heard these words. regardless, Rouge & Shadow are rarely seen together outside of "work," & even then, that's only when G.U.N deems it appropriate to pair them together; Shadow (& subsequently Omega) work quite efficiently as Rouge's vanguard. once in a blue moon does Shadow show up unannounced at her penthouse, & Rouge has learned that means one of two things: there is a good chance the world is ending/about to end, or Shadow is about to end up on the news.
while Rouge has certainly loosened up around Shadow, their relationship is still transactional to an extent; Rouge won't just give him anything because he asks for it, not without repayment in his muscle. she is highly prized for her access to intelligence for a reason, & the sad truth is that she must always be thinking of herself to protect herself - this much was true before Shadow even entered the picture, & that doesn't change just because she has the ostensible Ultimate Lifeform on speed dial. this doesn't mean their relationship is devoid of any love, or that it is strictly professional, but it is rather a grim acknowledgment of the world they live in; you can't just go around giving away yourself for free. for Rouge & Shadow, it's their bodies. the last bastions of their autonomy.
often on this blog [in narration, or in discussion of Shadow's psyche] you will notice that I tend to highlight the latency of the "subconscious," which diegetically Shadow defers to as the monstrous or the hidden, as he believes it is charged with dark potential energy & vested within the "hindbrain" or the instinctual, stripped of higher cognition. the latency, the inaccessibility of what psychoanalysts deemed the subconscious is what frightens him; the subconscious, the Id, is primality personified, & primality in Shadow's mind is irrevocably tied with the Black Legion. this was a concept inculcated in him by scientists whose careers crystallized during a time where psychoanalysis was the dominant discipline within psychology, & as such it shaped his understanding of himself.
I am not so much concerned with Freudian constructs as I am the effects of it on Shadow & the societal conditions that encouraged both its development & dissemination. I am no psychologist. what I learned about Freud was strictly within an anthropological context, so I'm sure a well-versed psychologist would probably give me a few weird glances here & there. alas, this is a silly blog about an alien hog, so I tend to give myself grace for gaps in my knowledge. it is more so the delineation/cleaving of "selves" that appeal to me & have the greatest influences on Shadow; the idea that there is a higher, more refined self (the ego) & a mediator (the superego) above a hedonistic nucleus (the id). in fact, the above doctrine kind of shapes Shadow's thinking about himself.
I believe that one reasoning that can account for psychoanalysis' popularity is the idea that there is a "primal" mind within all of us, one that steers us toward pleasure & away from destruction. in short, this is a very useful concept in a society that uses shame as a form of social control. an imperialistic society that, at its core, is two-faced: civilized & uncivilized. shame is a very powerful force within Shadow's character - in a sense, it is a kind of hauntological force, too. shame for the past, yes, but shame for the future that will never be; its ghosts are all around him.
Shadow, above all, values rationality (logos) above pleasure, hedonism. he is quite literally like that one post "diet until I am incapable of comprehending desire" as a person. in the narrative, this is not so subtly employed (by me) by Shadow's lack of tastebuds. in his inability to taste, he is deprived of a necessary component of human connection: breaking bread with others, the loving nature of sharing a meal, the sweetness of fruit between lovers. Shadow believes desire, especially needs of the sexual/erotic (or, more broadly, the Freudian Eros), are innate, impure impulses. he scoffs when he sees the way it governs other people. yet, this place is not just inhabited by the sensual, it is inhabited by the violent, too; I often say that Shadow detests unnecessary acts of brutality & decries them, at their core, as unnecessary energy expenditures. while that is true, it is a smaller part of a larger narrative he sells himself - Shadow is hyperempathetic & as such, existing in such a violent society (& employing such violence) is anathematic to his soul.
nevertheless, Shadow paradoxically employs violence at his whim. he is unafraid to use violence to achieve an end despite its toilings inside of him, but if he had the vocabulary to explain it: well, it's not violence that stems from impulsive pleasure, it is a utilitarian kind, the straightest & most energy-efficient path from point A to point B. his approach in these matters is quite surgical. "if there were a method other than violence," he'd argue, "I would use it, but this society has deemed it its primary language. violence is a last resort, but it is both preemptive & reactive." (this "purity" of Shadow's mind is its most lethal, its sharpest aspect.) to put it simply, he strikes down foes before they rise high enough for Sonic & his ilk to notice them, he dirties his hands so the people he loves don't have to, so they can live happy. that is his "job" at its most fundamental premise - hunting shadows. it is the most painful, hemorrhaging expression of love, yet one fitting for a weapon developed by neoimperialistic superpowers. I want to emphasize that, here: Shadow comes home covered in blood, both his & not his, smelling of gunpowder, because he loves & that is the only expression of love he can speak at its core. what does he love? the planet. a romanticized but lost conceptualization of humanity that exists just outside of his reach, instilled within him by someone who only exists as a half-baked memory & a lost radio transmission. he finds that again in Sonic which renews his efforts toward protecting the planet (& reconsidering his methods of protection, as well as challenging this idea of a rotten core) but I digress.
I am deviating a bit here, so I'd like to return to why I even wrote all of this. but this hierarchy of selves - the idea that there is a "primal" self within us - is innately connected to the Black Legion, in Shadow's mind, & is brutalizing to himself. to Shadow, his Black Legion "side" personifies all the worst qualities of himself & others: it is needlessly violent (he shudders at this), it is impulsive & paroxysmal, & most importantly, it is hungry. it is representative of that which he must avoid. it is not that Shadow deals with himself in hemispheres - one half Chaos, one half Black Legion (though I use this language for ease of reading) - it's more that Black Legion is a fetid nucleus embedded in an otherwise crystalline terrain of Chaos, & Shadow must excise the rot at all costs with an obsessive-compulsive fervor. that is a truer representation of Shadow's self (sans the parts about rot, as I prefer to use language that is not so nearly charged when talking about a self), but that rot is gestated in the "id", he thinks. it is a source of shame in its primal existence, & it is a rot that calls to him more often than he would like to admit. it must be maintained & "logicked" out of existence when it rears its head, tamed & domesticated. it must be starved "out", laid siege to (by higher cognition), among other things. this kind of approach to himself is nothing but damaging, but Shadow will not reach true clarity until he accepts all facets of himself, especially those he perceives as rotten. his disdain toward his Black Legion self is also rooted in biological essentialism which is another harmful belief system but I digress yet again & don't have the energy to write 500 more words decrying such a thing because I know you all will understand.
I'm realizing I should probably elaborate upon Shadow's relationship with G.U.N., given that I frequently reference it one way or another without ever really expanding upon what exactly is meant when I say "Shadow works for G.U.N." it is much more nebulous than simply employer & employee; arguably, the phrase "Shadow is indentured to G.U.N" would be more apt, & calling it "employment" feels both reductive & deceptive. the very nature of Shadow's relationship to G.U.N. concedes an inherent objectification of his being, & as such his "employment" with them requires a desertion of his personhood to some extent. this isn't surprising; as I've mentioned many times before, Shadow's willing to compromise himself to extreme degrees to achieve his goals. "once a weapon, always a weapon." as such, I would go as far as to say that his job is not just self-destructive but anathematic to the fiber of his being.
I believe that Shadow's association with G.U.N was retconned relatively recently, but I am hardly following the comics these days, nor am I really interested in whatever SEGA is doing with their "modern" interpretation of the character. to me, "modern" in this context refers to anything after StH06, as that bookends the dark era, at least when we discuss Shadow. Shadow is markedly different (sterilized) in his following appearances; one need only point to "cowards run, I win," which is, in my opinion, an exercise in monumental hubris, especially after the embarrassing stint of pisspoor decision-making that led him to spare Infinite's life. it's not Shadow's hubris that I take issue with - whatever flaws Shadow possesses will naturally stand in sharp relief to the otherwise Christ-like qualities that he carries owed to his Chaos energy - it's the fact this occurs quite literally months after the entire world is at war. a war that he caused, albeit incidentally. that aside, I would like to clarify that in no way am I making a moral statement about Shadow's affiliation with an entity that is arguably analogous to the U.S military (but also U.N? what exists of Sonic Geopolitics tm is a wreck); this is fiction at the end of the day, & I am not in the business of encouraging you to believe Shadow is a good person one way or another - he isn't very interested in human moral frameworks, either. Shadow walks in the direction of his own moral compass.
firstly, let me just get this out of the way: Shadow does not like G.U.N, nor is his affiliation with them any indication of absolution on his behalf. Shadow is acutely aware that they not only killed the person he loves, but were also solely responsible for his miserable, wretched existence. this in of itself is why working for them is self-destroying.
secondly, my iteration of Shadow's induction into G.U.N was hardly voluntary. to give context within canon, the ending of Shadow's game (what I usually refer to as Sh05) sees him onboard the ARK, parting ways with his past. given that the next appearance of Shadow shows him executing an operation for G.U.N after an indeterminable period of time, what I think Sonic Team was trying to imply was that Shadow works G.U.N now simply because he will not let his past dictate his future anymore. look how healed he is; he's setting his vengeance aside to work for his oppressors! my issue lies with the fissures this creates within Shadow's character: given his rigorous adherence to justice, I can't imagine that he would shrug his shoulders after clapping hands with the man who caused the ARK raid in the first place, nor would he don any sort of military medals with pride, whatever he may say about "moving on from the past." the reasoning for his (I assume voluntary) employment with G.U.N is not clear nor is it ever expanded upon, at least to my knowledge. given that the franchise swiftly pivoted in an entirely different direction following Sth06's cratering failure, I suppose we will never know where they wanted to go with it.
there were really two routes I could go with this: on one hand, I could nix it entirely. this led me to believe Shadow would act as some kind of rogue vigilante (in pursuit of a promise he made on the whim of a dying girl), but being a vigilante, as Batman has taught us, requires resources. maybe, I thought, he would work with G.U.N as an... "independent contractor" on occasion. furthermore, any access to their resources would only be made possible through Rouge, & his relationship with her on those matters is paradoxically intimate & transactional (as they are both soldiers). on the other hand, I could work with it, as making decisions that defy the moral fibers of our being is part of the human condition. also, it's more interesting than saying Shadow just hangs out with the other two-thirds of Team Dark as his found family, as fanon is wont to do. I like my men seasoned with a burnt edge of trauma & terrible coping mechanisms, after all. get that man a chainsmoking habit.
how did Shadow end up working for G.U.N, then? my last post elaborated a bit on what occurred after the destruction of the Black Comet, insofar as Shadow was left highly weakened by 1) the lack of sleep; 2) the psychic stress that came from Black Doom's attempts to fracture his mind; 3) the power drainage from killing his father. while the intricacies of Shadow's immortality will be reserved for another post, I'll keep it short here: he is not indestructible, just resilient. no matter the manner you break him apart, he always comes back together. combine this with a highly persistent & vindictive G.U.N spearheaded by a manic commander with a fifty-year chip on his shoulder - Shadow had been working with Black Doom to (unknowingly) colonize the planet until he double-crossed him, after all - it was as simple to them as a war of attrition. Shadow's easier to catch when his Chaos reserves are drained, he's tired (& thus prone to making tactical mistakes, as anyone is), & he's alone. in theory, Shadow could have killed every soldier they threw at him & ran to the ends of the Earth, but his morals toward unnecessary slaughter aside, he realized that wasn't a life he wanted to live - one spent in hiding, eyes cast over his shoulder, trying to escape the metastatic clutches of the most powerful technocratic organizations in the world.
G.U.N was quite surprised by Shadow's surrender. Shadow walked out onto the war-torn street with his hands raised above his head, swaying on his feet, in grim acceptance of his fate. they had intended to lock him away in stasis like they had when he'd fallen to Earth fifty years prior, but they were struck with a realization: hey, this is our property. Shadow successfully outmaneuvered G.U.N's greatest tacticians & strategists several times over the course of about six months, if he didn't outright repel their forces single-handedly. claiming a stake to Shadow's body seems rather purposeless; you lay claim to land or resources, not a living creature. with a healthy dose of blackmail though (which was silently dealt to Shadow in grainy images of Rouge, Amy, Sonic, Cream, as well as a rather sardonic gesture to his broken limiters), Shadow had no choice but to acquiesce.
it's not that Shadow is powerless to defy their claim to him, it's simply that it's conducive to his greater agenda, &, well... more tragically, it feels correct to Shadow, for his body to be wielded in the manner of a gun, or the cannon that he obliterated the Black Legion with. after all, this was the mindset he reverted to during his attempted assassination with Cosmo, as committing to such self-destructive endeavors require an immense degree of dissociation from himself. Shadow's assassination of Cosmo also saw his repetition compulsion playing out in a more aggressive, twisted key - instead of being the helpless onlooker or her savior, he donned the mantle of her murderer.
so, Shadow attempted to make peace with his situation. his position in G.U.N is rather nebulous - calling him an agent is misleading (even though that is his official designation), as he is deployed in the same manner as a weapon, which means his application is both broad & diverse. most of the time his operations see him as the “vanguard,” though there are times his skills are used for either espionage or SAR. despite everything, working with G.U.N has its perks: Shadow can keep an eye on them, utilizing his low rank/nebulous position as leverage; he has a lowly stipend; he can harness their resources at will; he can build alliances; he can access otherwise inaccessible intelligence; &, most significantly, he has some of the world's most renowned scientists at his disposal. if Shadow had struck out alone, he would have a very hard time adjusting or replacing his limiters - their technology is not just highly coveted, but also very difficult to replicate, & they are composed of rare materials. G.U.N can only replicate them because they have Gerald's blueprints, but their design is nigh inscrutable because they were created in a fit of mania by him.
Shadow could go to Ivo, but his relationship with Ivo following the events of Sh05 is deteriorated at best, unsalvageable at worst. he would much rather negotiate his personhood with G.U.N than be in arrears with a madman whose IQ borders 300 & thus could probably outpace Shadow on his worst day. for my non-Sonic mutuals, all you need to know about Shadow & Eggman is that they have a very tenuous relationship due to the following: 1) Eggman believes Shadow is owed to him as an heirloom of his grandfather (Shadow's creator) Gerald & 2) Eggman tried to manipulate Shadow into believing he was not actually Shadow, but a robot replica. as I've mentioned before, manipulating Shadow to such extremes typically leads to crashouts of the apocalyptic variety. Ivo is alive at rotcalypse incorporated for plot reasons & because it would make Sonic very mad at him, & Shadow trembles in trepidation of no one except the guy who nearly had his entire being cannibalized by cyberspace & still smiled through it. also, the leverage alchemized by Sonic's ability to Turn God & Shadow's Catholic Guilt most certainly helps.
some other miscellaneous information about Shadow's relationship with G.U.N that you can leverage if you'd like during plotting: he always has a burner phone & he blitzes through them like candy. he also works dutifully & rigorously in establishing alliances; as such, there are safehouses for him dotted all over the world, offered to Shadow by people he has aided. G.U.N has oh-so generously provided him with a place to live, too: a government-subsidized apartment that is as about as ramshackle as it is desolate, & since Shadow's way of living is quite spartan, the impression it leaves on you is one of loneliness & destitution. prior to Forces, his apartment was located in Central City, though presently he begrudgingly resides in the twice-rebuilt Westopolis, inhabited by citizens who cross the street when they walk by him because they're afraid of him. no, he does not have guns stashed away in his apartment, & even if there are assassins bold enough to try (& there are), Shadow intentionally leaves his "home" unguarded because he is the hidden armory. but I still make jokes about Shadow's Benelli, because I think the implication of the Ultimate Lifeform yielding to something as primitive as a gun is very, very amusing because of the sheer absurdity.
"I am the ultimate lifeform." -- a convoluted sentiment from Shadow. tw: medical talk (brief, but the content is triggering) & other general, expected Shadow Content.
I think a common (albeit not unreasonable or offbeat) interpretation of Shadow's character is to envision the invocation of this title as an indicator of hubris, an arrogance that stemmed from being bestowed with this "Ultimate" power that no one else has, which entitles him to the right to the title. Shadow's sense of self-worth came first; the Ultimate Lifeform title followed, it was something tangibly & concretely achieved at some point in his life. personally, I see this facet of Shadow's character as an indication of his shame & his isolation [but I recognize my characterization of Shadow is rooted in a much more cynical perspective than fanon] for multiple reasons, which I'll elaborate on below ...
Shadow was the Ultimate Lifeform before he was ever Shadow--it preceded personhood, it was the epithet attached to the random string of numbers on his patient file. the ARK was a prison for Shadow, a kind of containment built with the violent, imperialistic implications of a biological weapon in mind; this title is merely indicative of his "childhood" which was spent like a fighting dog circling in its cage. I know that part of Shadow's story is discovering that Gerald conceived him as a cure. that the purpose behind this experiment was noble, but merely grew out of hand. while Shadow's memories, love, & conversations for Maria were very real, the notion that Shadow was conceived solely as a cure is a distorted perspective imparted upon his psyche as part of Gerald's last act of revenge. Project Shadow was funded by GUN. GUN had its own expectations of what Project Shadow would entail & made those expectations very clear to Gerald: a weapon the likes of the world has never seen before, an autonomous but obedient machine that would unfalteringly carry out the whims of the state.
(while Shadow's memory of Gerald is initially warped, I do not acknowledge Gerald as a benevolent scientist or a good "father" to Shadow in any capacity, even if Shadow himself does in his early years. he was still his creator; that power imbalance was unavoidable, regardless of how paternal he acted toward him. perhaps he fostered that relationship with Shadow, & perhaps he truly meant it, truly loved him, but his true intentions were revealed the moment he altered Shadow's memories to follow his grief-stricken ploy for vengeance. later, Shadow simply thinks Gerald was mad, but that his madness was inevitable when working for GUN, who threatened to consistently pull funding & effectively end his dream of curing Maria.)
"explain, then, Shadow's regenerative abilities & enhanced immune system." stepping away from the in-universe for a second, I want to acknowledge the cultural framework Shadow's character was conceived in. while SA2 was, of course, made in Japan, I see this aspect of Shadow's character as a result of the AIDS crisis & its impact on US media at the time. a lot of the fandom believes NIDS is the in-universe equivalent to AIDS. this makes a lot of sense, & I agree with it. whether consciously or not, I believe Sega was influenced by the collective memory/experience of recent events.
moving on from that (& deferring to the text again), I do think Gerald had intended for Project Shadow to also result in an enhanced lifeform that would cure his granddaughter. this was possibly his incentive to get involved with the project in the first place when whispers & rumors of it quietly perpetuated within GUN & he was sought for recruitment. it drove his desperation to work with Black Doom, the alien patriarch. from GUN's perspective, a self-regulating & self-repairing machine would be most efficient. it is that simple. GUN had experimented with machines & found them defective. they desired the creativity & awareness of an organic creature with the cost- & energy-efficiency of an obedient machine. they desired a body that could regenerate itself; not be recalled for imperfections or called in for an oil change. skin, tissue, bones, organs regenerate--the issue is to get them to do this regardless of the damage, to remember their prior forms (Chaos energy is helpful with this). this, however, is an entirely different topic...!
since Shadow was the Ultimate Lifeform before he was ever Shadow, the lowest bar (the bar he was constantly expected to clear) was to defy expectations. they wanted strong, they wanted perfect, they wanted aware, creative, obedient, & the scientists wanted to keep their jobs. in other words, GUN wanted the impossible. Shadow was tested, often & relentlessly so. cognitively, mentally, & physically. exposed to pathogens, to poisons, to the vacuum of space, to injuries, to simulations of extreme weather, moral litmus tests & memory/intelligence tests. GUN had a very heavy hand in shaping Shadow's conscience & philosophy, some of which he still has to unlearn.
amidst this all was maria. Maria is a class all of her own, & I won't even disrespect her character or importance by shoehorning her in with few sentences in a meta about something unrelated. while GUN instilled these inherently violent tendencies & thought processes in Shadow, Maria was the counter-balance, but ultimately, she was just a girl. a terminally ill girl who Shadow believed was doomed if he was defective. a girl who was just as trapped as Shadow was, by her illness & by her grandfather. I won't sit here & harp on the fact Maria taught Shadow empathy, that she humanized him, because to word it that way sounds reductive. it implies Maria consciously "steered" Shadow away from the teachings of GUN.
she was aware of what Shadow was going through, a little bit. she was a very observant & prodigious girl after all, & Shadow's memory certainly doesn't help with this strange mythologization of her. Maria influenced Shadow by virtue of being herself, which is always a beautiful thing. this makes the tragedy of her life stolen that much heavier, that much greater, as she was just another casualty in GUN's quest for the perfect machine. on one hand, GUN represents the far side of humanity, darkness & conquest & greed. Maria represents not only innocence & innocence lost, but also the light side of humanity, which feels unjust for her character, to settle the weight of it on her shoulders, but that is just another injustice of her narrative.
all of that being said... Shadow, therefore, was expected to constantly achieve the impossible--the very reason he holds himself to such stringent expectations. it is a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure. this kind of upbringing is also why shadow perceives himself as a machine & a weapon that can make no mistakes (Team Dark's song is quite literally called This Machine, a nod to this actualization of Shadow's self, as well as the "machine," the establishment Shadow grew up under & the web of lies in which the Robotniks have ensnared him). this convoluted, looking-glass self is derived from GUN’s perspective on his own body, as fed to him through reports, relentless clinicalized; dossiers, documents, recordings, & test results … thus, one shouldn’t be surprised to discover that Shadow’s perception of himself is one that is inherently steeped in the medical, the clinical, the scientific; although I have not had the chance to allude to it too much in my replies, the view is a Materialistic one.
Shadow: [Emerl & I] were created as weapons. If the people of this world ever want peace, they must destroy us.
I would be remiss to not acknowledge the significance of Maria in this, since I'm talking about "stringent expectations"--is it truly possible for Shadow to fulfill her wish when he has mythologized her so much? isn't it unfair to her to imagine this version of her that has strayed so far from herself, one that would expect Shadow to achieve the impossible at the expense of himself?
later, the Ultimate Lifeform--while still a title that carries immense weight--becomes less of a symbol of shame & more a diegetic symbol of grim self-acceptance. acceptance of the past, of his pain, of his failures (Maria's death). the acceptance that healing does not come without accepting all that has happened to you, in that it can't be changed. when employed this way, I like to envision it as Shadow having surpassed the biggest obstacle of his arc, clear-minded & unfaltering, or, as someone else eloquently put it, "the Ultimate Lifeform at its most ultimate." (the fact that other people perceive it as a demonstration of vanity is also a positive in Shadow's eyes because it reinforces distance between him & others. but that's fine, because Shadow sees himself as one to do what is necessary, even if others don't like it. that necessity is easier when you don't rely on others, when you don't fear their perceptions of you.) yes, he is Shadow, the Ultimate Lifeform, the scion of Black Doom & the disciple of Chaos, & whether that was or is his choice or not is irrelevant. he's all of those things, & he's going to stop you.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
the reason I chose "The World" for Shadow's pinned is explicitly due to the Tarot card's astrological relationship with Saturn, which represents karma, responsibility, maturation, etc. Saturn is the planet I associate most closely with Shadow due to those associations (& thus I designate him a Capricorn despite his birthday ostensibly being in June! while I enjoy the Gemini symbology for Sonic/Shadow, I find that the Mercurial elements of it - communication, speed/quickwittedness/etc - are more fitting for Sonic alone than Shadow). if you've ever heard of the term "Saturn return," occurring once every 29 years - one full orbit of Saturn around the Sun - then this concept will be a bit more familiar. similarly, its Greek counterpart is Kronos, the leader of the Titans who infamously killed & deposed his father.
more tangentially, The World is also the card I associate with Super Sonic, which, given the lore of this blog, is a nice little nod to the fact that Shadow was created based off of his image on the Angel Island mural. The World is the perfect balance of past, present, & future, after all.