Fucked up fairy tale

I’m not listening to you I am wandering right through existance With no purpose and no drive ‘Cause in the end we’re all alive, alive Two thousand years I’ve been awake Waiting for the day to shake To all of you who’ve wronged me I am, I am a zombie Again, again you want me to fall on my head I am, I am, I am a zombie How low, how low, how low will you push me To go, to go, to go, before I lay, lay down dead Blow the smoke right off the tube Kiss my gentle burning bruise I’m lost in time And to all the people left behind You are walking dumb and blind, blind And two thousand years I’ve been awake Waiting for the day to shake Dear all of you who’ve wronged me I am, I am a zombie Again, again you want me to fall on my head I am, I am, I am a zombie How low, how low, how low will you push me To go, to go, to go, before I lay, lay down dead Oh dead, Oh dead, Oh dead

I’ve had 2 suicide attemps. The likelihood of attempting will just cause more pain and suffering instead of the result I want. I beg for euthanasia! Why should I suffer? Therapy does nothing but teach you to live with it. It’s a never ending cycle. Why is it that if you become a vegetable it’s ok to ask to end it. Yet flash backs, being jumpy, crying constantly n the agonising numbness isn’t enough? The bullshit compromising psychologists tell you “you’ll hurt your family, your loved ones”. Yes, but I’d rather not be the burden! I can see them hurting seeing me in this state!