Metanoia

Do you want me to feel like her?

I wanna say yes to this twisted lie

I just don't wanna bid you goodbye

I'm not a stranger to Longing

My whole life, that's all I've been doing

Long for a loving home, safe heart

Life where I'm finally enough

But I'm not

Not in this life

Hopefully in the next

Hopefully with you

Hopefully we last

I, so desperately, want answers,

Like a child, my heart whines

I want to ask why,

I want to ask what happened,

Or what changed your mind,

But I'll just let you live.

Days go by,

Your memory is fainter with each sunrise,

But what I feel for you only seems to be growing in the distance—

The more I push it down, the more it overflows.

I don't know where to put it all,

So I let myself drown in it,

For maybe when your memory fills my lungs,

Replacing the air,

I'd feel you again

And for a brief moment,

I'd know you more than I ever did before.

Until finally I meet my end as the happiest woman that's ever existed,

Engulfed by you.

And when the last few bubbles of air exit my body,

They will echo my feelings for you,

Releasing them into a vast ocean where they will live on forever,

And every time it rains,

I'll get to touch you again.

in a clear blue sky

thunder

I have missed you

more than you'll ever know

the sun

can only say

so much

Fragility

A light wind, and cracks of fire can set

Whole forests ablaze.

The whip does not need to be held tightly; or crack loudly

I break; easy, brittle, burst apart from inside by

Lazy lightning.

Judgement comes fast, through you to her; from her to I

But until we have borne what they have carried

does not stop growing

because one tree

falls.

But I am only

one heart

and losing you

would leave

today...

maybe it's also

longing to touch

thunder

I have missed you

more than you'll ever know

the sun

can only say

so much