fuk u

“I don’t know if I am a good person or a bad person. All I know is that I suffer more than you realize,”

I want a home. I want a body. More of my own—I don’t want to be a surface possessed anymore. Let me be one breath needling inside. I know something of what we name

“It was a specific type of loneliness that I felt. The person that I needed the most was still near, but somehow just out of reach. I knew that it wasn’t their fault, but that didn’t stop it from hurting. In fact, it made it all worse; difficult things are much more difficult when you don’t fully understand them. I felt that type of loneliness that physically hurts. That makes your chest tight and your shoulders heavy.”

I let the words slip once and you never let me forget.

“To love someone toxic is the most painful thing. Because they hurt you, and they hurt you, and they hurt you, but you’ll always go back to them. Always. They are like a poison, slowly draining you of life and happiness, but you love them. You’ll never stop loving them. Because some people just get you like that.”

“Do you know how difficult I find it to express my feelings? It is sometimes terrible – and I don’t understand why it should be so;”

“Make your parents proud, your enemies jealous, and yourself happy.”