❀

i’m officially done and i’ve never felt more free. maybe it’s the bottle of tempranillo i’ve been drinking for the last four hours but I feel almost as if i’m restoring something that has been broken.

I just ate the rest of my Chantilly cake with my fingers in my ex boyfriend’s bed. I caught him staring at me and immediately asked him not to look. I guess this is the price of doing what feels right in the moment.

it’s my mission now to make your life just as fucked as you’ve made mine. I want you to feel exactly how I feel.

I don’t really know how to explain or completely identify what exactly i’m feeling but it’s very close to what I imagine it feels like to despise someone. I think I hate him. I wish I understood this feeling completely or the origin. I just hate him and I want him to feel exactly how I feel.

this is why I enjoy being a heartless bitch.

and here I am again, reminded by one of the few reasons I decided to leave you. and although i’m over you, it’s almost like some things never change. you never fail to amaze me how much you value a dollar over me. i’m not even asking for much, and I get it we’re not even together anymore but it’s like you want to have me in your life but at a discounted rate and that shit actually bothers my soul. if i’m going to buy my own food then why are you here? I just don’t understand what exactly i’m gaining from keeping you in my life. please fucking enlighten me? because I know what I bring to the table. so what are you bringing exactly? and I don’t want to hear fucking love.. sorry sweetheart that ship has sailed. my heart no longer values your love as a valid currency LOL.

I wish it would stop. the familiarity, the ache.

I just went into the car auto shop nearby I have no car but I’m curious lol

and after months, the realization that maybe something’s just don’t change. here I am June 26, 2026. still going for long walks because it feels like for a moment I am able to run away. the walks are serving as mini moments of escape.