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ā
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@rose-farts

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have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.
they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.
their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.
longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years
toxic flesh
has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.
lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion
largest genome of any shark
eats everything including moose and polar bears
ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you
this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard
just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !
Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!
Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir
I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks
all the food classification discourse is phenotype-based and no more sophisticated than ancient greek zoology.
"pizza is a flat bread with toppings baked on"?
let me guess: you define a man as a featherless biped, don't you plato?
no, we need the taxonomical model. food evolves and adapts and descends. it fills niches that cause it to diverge from its ancestors and converge with other, unrelated species. unlike most animals, food is capable of horizontal gene transfer, making taxonomical divisions less linear.
american pizza (Focaccius rotunda) is descended from an italian baked flatbread dish. deep dish pizza (F. r. patina) is a subspecies of american pizza which evolved in the american midwest. it is taxonomically unrelated to common species of casserole in the area (and casserole is not a taxonomic category but a polyphleytic grouping, much like fish and crabs)
"sushi is a burrito" yeah and a bat is a bird.
hotdog is actually genetically in the ramen clade for reasons scientists don't understand yet
āIn Europe theyāā
WHERE in Europe??!? WHERE??? You mean Iceland?? Azerbaijan? The Netherlands? Liechtenstein???? THERE ARE 50 COUNTRIES IN EUROPE. ALL WITH DIFFERENT CULTURES. SO PRAY TELL ME, WHERE IN FUCKING EUROPE.
in europe they got antisemitism

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overhearing my neighbor rant on the phone top of his lungs and his friend is saying something in calm voice and he goes NO. NO NUANCE. STOP SAYING NUANCE. MY BOSS NEEDS TO DIE
Hold on, let me look something up real quick
Yeah this is funny
we are past swifties calling themselves punks and have arrived at swift calling herself punk
it's a little stuffy in here, sorry
Movement nudge!
X
I LOVE THIS GUY.
All those "spend just 35 minutes doing a bunch of really hard exercises and you'll feel great forever!" videos are really discouraging. I usually end up doing like, 2 minutes of some of his while waiting for my shower to heat up, and ykw?
That's 2 minutes more than I would have done otherwise.
oh hey I have a thing like that last one that I like to do sometimes, but I do it lying down in bed. it's a very satisfying pop/shift in my hips/lower back, but doesn't always work. maybe I will try his version and see if it is more effective for me

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Reworked an unplayed dnd character ššø Her name is Twyla and she is a circle of dreams druid tiefling (good-aligned fey magic, seeks to spread dream-like wonder, protector of fey realms where dreams and reality blend) She's gentle, sweet, and kind of clumsy!
vgen / insta / bsky
I love going viral on tumblr.com. Itās like if you stood in a field and said some of the stupidest shit a human being is capable of and then like fifty thousand crows attacked you
Donāt do this to me
my brother in christ you made the post
some birds are very intuitively named. looked up a sparrow going chipchipchip in my yard, it was a chipping sparrow. saw a black bird with red wings, it was a red winged blackbird. gray bird that sounds like a cat? gray catbird. the first time i saw a house finch it was perched on a windowsill. However, some birds are the red-bellied woodpecker
I gotta google something real quick
who named this bird
Official ornithology post
choking a girl's dick is known to improve mental health btw
ON. ON a girl's dick.
I can't stress enough ON.
No!!!!
š
my personal favorite contribution.
Normal groceries like milk or bread or whatever running out is whatever. Just anotha day. But when stuff like salt or cooking oil or rice runs out it feels like Youāre supposed to be here for me and youāre leaving. Youāre just like everyone else

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cool animal meme dude hey just wondering why is that fennec fox in somebody's living room
"it's just a meme let people have fun" NO. you WILL learn about wildlife trafficking and its role in the exotic pet trade
"make an account to-"