There was a full second or two where Noah just stood in wait, hand over his eyes, shoulders flat against the brick where it pressed warm through his shirt. This wasnât all bad, he thought. Roryâd had that light in her eyes, at the crosswalk â maybe Iâll love the inside of your apartment like it was already settled â so he wasnât embarrassed, not really, not in the way that mattered. There were worse things than a quick-spreading blush. It was just, you know, his chest felt heavier now. And he knew that would stick âtil he got home tonight, where he could lie in his bed with all his white noise humming, and he could wonder how much more of the father heâd buried was still waiting to show up in him. It had been happening like this, lately: little flashes of recognition, like that week he hadnât bothered to shave, or that night he bought the wrong cigarettes and found he liked them better. Parliaments. Heâd smoked three back-to-back and then tossed the rest. That wasnât who heâ
Wait. Did she just say adorable?
Noah snapped back into it, then. Didnât take long. She was gasps and giggles, bent over her knees, and he was watching her hair shake with the rest of her, where it fell to cover her face. A guy canât stay stuck in his head when thereâs a girl who laughs like too many wind chimes â and that was him who did that, he made that happen, oh, he smiled without showing any teeth. âGood,â he said. He didnât know what that was supposed to mean, but he figured sheâd get it, anyway. Sheâd gone along with everything else so far. âI mean, yeah, my momâs already got us a table. Thatâs cool, right? They go on all my dates.âÂ
He was trying to let her set the pace, heâd told himself, except when Rory actually grabbed his hand and took off, Noah was right there with her. No more blushing, this time; letâs call a spade a spade, okay? Letâs admit that her palm against his palm, no pretense, actually made him feel a little more at ease. And he nearly tripped on Winslow, but he could respect that the dog stayed so close to her heels. At the next corner, he tightened his grip to hold her back. âHey, hey,â he laughed, mostly breath, âhang on.â Noah slid his fingers more comfortably in the spaces between hers. âWe donât even know where weâre going.âÂ
But they werenât going anywhere, now, they were just standing again, and he couldnât quit looking at her, like he â Christ, he wasnât gonna kiss her, was he? No. He was definitely not gonna kiss her. âAnd youâll probably want to pick, âcause I⊠donât actually know a place with a patio,â he admitted. âThat was, uh, that was kind of a lie. A small one, though!â Noah held up his thumb and finger in a sign for tiny, his smile on the side of his mouth.Â