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DEAR READER
NASA
Sweet Seals For You, Always
tannertan36
★
RMH
Kiana Khansmith
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
ojovivo
dirt enthusiast
h
Peter Solarz
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
titsay
Misplaced Lens Cap
Product Placement
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from India
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from Norway
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Switzerland
seen from Germany
seen from Germany
seen from United States
@roommateconvos
-cat knocks over an empty can...one of at least 100 in the house-
Roommate: Ugh, I need to take these downstairs
Me: Why haven't you taken them in yet?
Roommate: Ah, yeah
Me: No really you have like a dragon's horde of bottles and cans littered throughout the house.
Take
them
in.
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Roommate: *looks in my room and sees my sewing machine and ironing board*
Roommate: Wow you got a whole sweatshop in there!
Me: You have known I make costumes the entire three years I have lived here...
Roommate: What? You didn't find that funny?
Me: I only find your existence funny
Roommate: Are you having trouble with the wifi?
Me: Yeah, I stopped using it earlier in the day because it was upsetting me *turns back to my phone*
Roommate: What do you use then? Your data?
Me: No, it runs on my depression. Of course I use my data idiot
Roommate: Can I ask you why you didn’t bring the recycling bin in? I feel like I’m always the one doing it.
Me: Well, you see unlike SOME PEOPLE I work a full time job year round and am not always here to bring it in when you decide it should be. Why are you upset about it when you have LITERALLY nothing else to do since you are currently unemployed?
Roommate: I am making something you'll love!
Me: What?
Roommate: Shepard's Pie!
Me: ...are you saying that because I am Irish??
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Roommate: Oh! I didn't know you were home!
Me: I have been literally blasting heavy metal in my room for the past half an hour...where have you been?
Roommate: *Makes smoothies at 6:30am every single day for a week straight*
Me: *gets up and goes to the bathroom because he was woken up like he has been every fuckin day all week now*
Me: Listen I don't mean to be a pain but do you have to do that in the morning?
Roommate: *looking at me blankly* Yeah
Me: Listen you wake me up everyday with it. Literally every day. You can't do it the night before?
Roommate: No cause the bananas will spoil.
Me: Then make one without them? Listen man you wake me up every fucking day and I am getting fucked up sleep because of you
Roommate: Haha yeah sorry I knew it would bother you. I'll do it in my room
Me: IF YOU KNEW THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO IT?!?!??
Roommate: Are you cooking something?
Me: No why?
Roommate: Cause the stove is on.
Me: Oh shit, I'm sorry! I'll turn it off right now.
Roommate: *is silent and walks away*
Me: OKAY! NICE CHAT!
Roommate: Are you rearranging your room?
Me: No, I just pulled everything out for the fun of it.
My roommate: Oh, is that your new TV?
Me: No, it's just a stand in. OF COURSE ITS MY NEW TV YOU DUMBASS
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Roommate: His balls are dropping
Me: What?
Him: The cat. You didn't notice?
Me: I don't make a habit of staring at them...why did YOU notice??
About My Cat
Roommate: *picks up toy from the floor* He plays with these mice?
Me: No, they are strewn about the house because I play with them. Of course he plays with them wtf
Bathroom Issues 2
Me: *sees door open, assumes roommate is done with bathroom and goes to use it*
Roommate: *is still in it, on the toilet*
Me: Oh sorry. *walks back out*
Roommate: (copies logic I had used before when he walked in on me with a closed door) Didn't you hear the toilet flush?
Me: Yes and since the door was OPEN logically that would mean you were DONE and had LEFT.
Roommate: Oh
Me: Yeah
Bathroom Issues
Me: *in bathroom, using it with door closed*
Roommate: *walks in unannounced*
Me: Wtf, didn't you hear the toilet flush just a second ago? I'm still in here.
Roommate: Oh, yeah I just assumed you were done.
Me: Did you think I just apparated out of here??
Roommate: Hey, what is this bug? *points to bug on the wall*
Me: It’s a stink bug. How old are you that you don’t know what they are?
Roommate: Stink bug, huh? Are they called that because when you squish them, they stink?
Me: No, it’s because they smell like roses. Wtf other reason would they be called that?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Roommate: You take really long showers. What do you do in there huh? *wink and nudge*
Me: Um…get clean???
About My Cat
Roommate: He had some pills he has to take right?
Me: Yeah
Roommate: Does he eats them or are they like anal pills? *makes insertion gesture*
Me:....he has to eat them....why do you care?