Perwinkleton’s Keep of Shops

“Wowee I’ve been slacking on these! I don’t have an excuse or anything, I just forgot that people got born on the days between the end of March and today. They seem like fake days, don’t they? Anywho, here is a material object that demonstrates our platonic and also economic affection of you. Happy birthday!”

“Apple-solutely Great Friend" It’s a pet rock with a crudely drawn smiley face. A very, very loyal pet rock that, at sunset, will always return to your pocket no matter where it was prior to sunset or what happened to it. If you toss it up into the air three times, it will turn into a delicious apple that you may consume. If eaten, it will reappear in your pocket at sunset.

“You know that five-second rule for dropping food on the ground? And if you pick if up within five seconds it’s okay to eat? Well I’ve invented a forty-eight-hour rule for birthdays so... Happy birthday, Allegra! May you never be tormented by a bad hair day again.”

“Bonnet of Kemptness" This lovely headwear allows the wearer to stuff their unruly hair into this ruffled and laced bonnet and in one hour they have their ideal hairstyle. Shorter, longer, curly, wavy, straight, frizzy or not you too can have the perfect hairstyle for any occasion. The bonnet can only be used once every twenty-four hours and the hairstyle will act as any normal one would. This may have some unseen side effects for races that do not naturally have hair. For one hour you have a +1 to charisma checks. Your hair will revert back to it’s normal state after twenty-four hours. 

“Here you go, dear. I hope they serve you and whomever you give the other one to very well. Take care!”

“Well, well, well... Happy birthday, Lave—I mean Kit. You know my magic calendar, she’s a tricky one. Sometimes she says your name is one thing and then she says it’s another and it’s so difficult to keep up with her. Anywho, here’s a gifty-gift. Don’t be excessively irresponsible.”

“No-Talk Taffy" A bag of riotously colored and interestingly flavored taffies. Give one to a chatter box and within a few chews of this candy, their teeth will be too stuck together to speak again for 1d4 minutes. They are still able to make sounds of disgruntlement or outrage, but be unable to speak clearly or with much volume.

“Well hey, big guy! Happy birthday to you. I thought this might bring some nice thoughts of home for you while your up here helping us out.”

“Damp Friend” When this small vial of iridescent water is opened, the water flows out and whirls around in the shape of happy fish. When prompted, it sings with the sounds of the ocean. Perhaps it sings with the voice of a mournful whale, blows bubbles, or sounds like the lapping of waves upon a sandy shore. Careful not to let it evaporate entirely! After long uses, refill the bottle and let it regain its power before using it again. 

“Terribly sorry about all my bumbling around with birthdays lately. I’ve been such a busy beaver. Well, fox. Regardless, happy birthday Merrinyn I hope this little something-something will help you in your observational endeavors.”

“Journal of Easy Noting” A small, well-bound journal with replaceable pages. It comes with a matching ink pen that can easily be refilled. It can function as a normal journal for note taking or plain old journaling, but can also be dictated to. By speaking the command word of your choice, the pen will leap into action and write down everything you say. It will continue to do so until you order it to stop by speaking the command word again.

“I’m less than a day late on this one and I count that as a success! Anywho, hey there, Mazek! Or Krom. Whatever you go by these days. My magic calendar has a couple of names down for you and I can’t tell if she’s pulling a prank or not. That doesn’t matter though because it’s your birthday!”

“Corpse Mask” When a humanoid dies within 30 feet of you while you’re wearing the mask, you can take on the appearance of that humanoid. Another creature can see through this disguise by succeeding on a Wisdom (Insight) check contested by your Charisma (Deception) check. The mask does not change your height, weight, or speech, only your face. Once a day you may “switch” the face of the mask into any humanoid’s face that you seen die within 30 feet of you while wearing the mask. The mask will retain whatever face it last mimicked indefinitely or until you change it. The mask has a once a day 1 hour charge that replenishes at dawn.

“Well hell, kids, I’ve done it again. It’s been a big spending season over her in the Keep and what with the stock overhaul I all but forgot about your birthdays. I’m terribly sorry, and it will probably happen again, but without further ado—Happy birthday, Shrieker! Have an object to symbolize our collective affection for you.”

“Hat of Many Feathers” This elaborate headdress of wire, glittering false gems, reflective feathers, and everything decorative can change every dawn. You can give this headdress a good shake once everyday and it will glow and morph into another ridiculous, marvelous, dramatic statement piece fit for explosive musicians or the casual wearer who wants a bit of pizazz in their wardrobe. Each version of the headdress is completely unique and once shaken there is no way to retrieve a past form.

“Here. You’ll shoot better than before.”

“Greetings patrons! 

I must say, that sale went swimmingly. Items were flying of the shelves! We’ll be sure to do more sales in the future, but for now the sale has ended. As promised, though, the Keep of Shops has been restocked. Yes, yes, yes you heard that correctly, folks! New items now abound including two new real estate offers! Head on over to Isla Periwinkleton’s Keep of Shops to see behold all our new items.”

“Here you are, my dear. Watch for tall buildings and taking off around trees, but of course you always struck me as the sensible sort so I needn’t worry. Your brother on the other hand... Be sure to give him a safety lecture if he ever borrows this from you.”

“Alright. The Keep of Shops is not liable for lost friendships.”

“Avriel, this is getting ridiculous. Unlike Isla I don’t wanna squeeze your cheekyweekies. Here are your four dolls and here’s a duckling I found stuck in a storm drain this morning. It’s complementary for your loyal, persistent, and somewhat irresponsible patronage.”

“I did indeed miss you! I could just pinch those cheeks of yours, but that would be highly unprofessional. Maybe if you come back a third time in as many days then I will. I have those items in this bag for you and here’s the mithral breastplate as your mystery item. You soldiers need all the protection you can get these days. Oh, and I slipped a chocolate duck in the bag for you since you’re such a loyal customer.”

“I can most certainly provide you those items, dear! Oh, you’ll have so much fun with those. You’ll never get wet in puddles again. Don’t you worry about Suri, either. The only thing that bothers her is small talk and the color taupe.”

“You buy a lot. I like that. I usually take my own measurements because you’re most likely wrong.”

“It’s perfectly possible in every way, dear! Do send the fish my regards won’t you?”