okays itās 12 am but : Fic where like. Janus decides the only way to control Remus is to SEDUCE him and bribe him into showering/ behaving with romantic gestures (Janus: thereās only one thing left to use. Virgil: donāt say your sexuality. Janus:my SEXuALITy) but then OhNo! He catches feelings for real because yeah Remus is a bit terrifying and stinky, but heās also Passionate and Honest and Also Thinks Suggesting Thomas Murder People Is A Hilarious Prank. What is Jjan to do?? (Virgil: why are you asking me this? No one asked you to do this. You LITERALLY could have just tried asking him to shower) and maybe Remus has figured out/ always knew that Jan was faking the affection so HE is Pining For His (not) Unrequited Love and Jan is like, āoh no, once again my incredibly convoluted plan has led to someone feeling betrayed and drawing away from me why does this keep happeningā (Virgil: because you keep trying to control situations through incredibly convoluted plans Jan oh my god) so Jan is ALSO Pining For His (not) Unrequited Love and they are both very Dramatic and Gay about it all until Virgil -the Worlds Most Reluctant Wingman -helps them figure it out. And then Jan starts carrying around breath mints he can shove at Remus whenever they want to make out. Which is often. And thatās when Virgil decides to leave the dark sides.


















