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Ā Ā Ā Ā wyattĀ didnātĀ knowĀ whyĀ heĀ askedĀ miaĀ toĀ sitĀ withĀ himĀ whileĀ theyĀ drankĀ theirĀ coffeeĀ butĀ heĀ feltĀ likeĀ itĀ wasĀ somethingĀ theyĀ Ā neededĀ .Ā orĀ maybeĀ ā¦Ā heĀ justĀ wantedĀ toĀ beĀ aroundĀ herĀ aĀ littleĀ longerĀ .Ā wyattĀ hadĀ veryĀ wishyĀ washyĀ feelingĀ whenĀ itĀ cameĀ toĀ beingĀ aroundĀ miaĀ .Ā heĀ eitherĀ Ā didnātĀ wantĀ toĀ beĀ aroundĀ herĀ ,Ā heĀ didnātĀ wantĀ toĀ seeĀ herĀ ,Ā orĀ hearĀ herĀ voiceĀ becauseĀ thereĀ wasĀ somethingĀ aboutĀ itĀ thatĀ hurtĀ himĀ .Ā aĀ reminderĀ ofĀ whatĀ heĀ hadĀ Ā lostĀ .Ā butĀ onĀ theĀ otherĀ sideĀ ofĀ theĀ spectrumĀ ,Ā heĀ wantedĀ toĀ seeĀ herĀ ,Ā beĀ aroundĀ herĀ ,Ā hearĀ herĀ voiceĀ justĀ aĀ littleĀ whileĀ longerĀ becauseĀ theĀ realityĀ hitĀ thatĀ ,Ā thingsĀ wouldĀ Ā neverĀ beĀ theĀ sameĀ anymoreĀ .Ā becauseĀ heĀ didĀ missĀ herĀ .Ā wyattĀ wasnātĀ oneĀ toĀ throwĀ aroundĀ theĀ worldĀ loveĀ ,Ā heĀ didnātĀ feelĀ itĀ atĀ theĀ dropĀ ofĀ aĀ hatĀ butĀ heĀ didĀ loveĀ miaĀ andĀ heĀ didnātĀ thinkĀ heādĀ beĀ ableĀ toĀ stopĀ lovingĀ herĀ .Ā sheādĀ alwaysĀ haveĀ aĀ pieceĀ ofĀ himĀ withĀ herĀ .Ā Ā Ā (Ā Ā Ā heĀ justĀ hadĀ toĀ learnĀ toĀ leaveĀ withoutĀ thatĀ pieceĀ Ā ,Ā Ā Ā Ā )Ā Ā Ā andĀ maybeĀ oneĀ dayĀ heĀ wouldĀ getĀ toĀ thatĀ pointĀ .Ā maybeĀ oneĀ dayĀ ,Ā thingsĀ Ā wouldnātĀ beĀ soĀ hardĀ .Ā maybeĀ oneĀ dayĀ heĀ wouldnātĀ tortureĀ himselfĀ overĀ somethingĀ thatĀ heĀ wonātĀ everĀ haveĀ againĀ ,Ā somethingĀ ,Ā Ā someoneĀ heĀ hadĀ toĀ letĀ goĀ ofĀ .
pullingĀ hisĀ handĀ awayĀ ,Ā heĀ putĀ theĀ cashĀ backĀ intoĀ hisĀ walletĀ beforeĀ slidingĀ itĀ backĀ intoĀ hisĀ pocketĀ .Ā heĀ knewĀ thatĀ sheĀ wouldnātĀ letĀ himĀ payĀ ,Ā Ā sheĀ offeredĀ afterĀ allĀ ,Ā butĀ thatĀ didnātĀ meanĀ heĀ wouldnātĀ tryĀ Ā .Ā itĀ wasĀ reflexĀ forĀ himĀ toĀ payĀ forĀ himselfĀ .Ā wyattĀ wasnātĀ aĀ bigĀ fanĀ ofĀ handoutsĀ orĀ moreĀ soĀ ,Ā heĀ wasnātĀ aĀ bigĀ fanĀ ofĀ feelingĀ likeĀ heĀ Ā owedĀ someoneĀ somethingĀ ā¦Ā Ā butĀ thisĀ wasĀ differentĀ .Ā heĀ hadĀ toĀ putĀ hisĀ prideĀ toĀ theĀ sideĀ forĀ nowĀ .Ā theyĀ toldĀ eachĀ otherĀ thatĀ theyādĀ tryĀ .Ā theyādĀ tryĀ toĀ beĀ betterĀ aroundĀ eachĀ otherĀ .Ā toĀ notĀ fightĀ orĀ argueĀ .Ā andĀ wyattĀ knewĀ betterĀ thanĀ toĀ everĀ thinkĀ thatĀ miaĀ wouldĀ buyĀ himĀ somethingĀ ,Ā herĀ treatĀ .Ā andĀ thenĀ expectĀ somethingĀ outĀ ofĀ himĀ .Ā heĀ knewĀ herĀ wellĀ enoughĀ toĀ knowĀ thatĀ thatĀ wasnātĀ herĀ .Ā wyattĀ trustedĀ miaĀ .Ā whichĀ wasĀ ironicĀ ,Ā beingĀ thatĀ theirĀ breakupĀ wasĀ builtĀ onĀ Ā distrustĀ forĀ eachĀ otherĀ .Ā andĀ maybeĀ heādĀ beĀ aĀ liarĀ ifĀ heĀ saidĀ thatĀ thereĀ wasnātĀ aĀ partĀ ofĀ himĀ thatĀ didnātĀ completelyĀ trustĀ herĀ .Ā Ā Ā Ā (Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā notĀ thatĀ miaĀ wasnātĀ aĀ trustworthyĀ personĀ inĀ theĀ grandĀ schemeĀ ofĀ thingsĀ Ā ,Ā Ā Ā Ā )Ā Ā Ā Ā sheĀ wasĀ aĀ veryĀ trustworthyĀ personĀ .Ā butĀ wyattĀ hadĀ aĀ hardĀ timeĀ trustingĀ Ā anyoneĀ .Ā itĀ wasĀ easierĀ toĀ feelĀ asĀ thoughĀ noĀ oneĀ wasĀ completelyĀ trustworthyĀ thanĀ toĀ putĀ yourĀ trustĀ inĀ someoneĀ ,Ā onlyĀ toĀ beĀ disappointedĀ byĀ theĀ outcomeĀ .Ā heĀ hadĀ feltĀ ,Ā heādĀ doneĀ thatĀ forĀ tooĀ manyĀ peopleĀ timeĀ andĀ timeĀ againĀ ,Ā andĀ heĀ couldnātĀ bareĀ toĀ doĀ itĀ anymoreĀ .Ā Ā heĀ wasĀ tiredĀ Ā .
Ā Ā Ā Ā sittingĀ downĀ ,Ā wyattĀ lookedĀ outĀ theĀ windowĀ forĀ aĀ momentĀ .Ā watchingĀ asĀ aĀ fewĀ peopleĀ walkedĀ downĀ theĀ sidewalksĀ ,Ā enteringĀ whateverĀ shopsĀ theyĀ endedĀ upĀ wanderingĀ intoĀ .Ā Ā Ā Ā ā¤Ā Ā Ā Ā whenĀ hearingĀ whatĀ sheĀ wasĀ sayingĀ ,Ā wyattĀ lookedĀ atĀ theĀ girlĀ againĀ .Ā atĀ firstĀ heĀ wasĀ quietĀ ā¦Ā asĀ ifĀ heĀ wasĀ eitherĀ takingĀ inĀ everythingĀ sheĀ wasĀ sayingĀ orĀ heĀ wasĀ tryingĀ toĀ holdĀ backĀ somethingĀ .Ā andĀ Ā honestlyĀ ,Ā itĀ couldāveĀ beenĀ aĀ littleĀ bitĀ ofĀ Ā bothĀ .Ā wyattĀ wasĀ stillĀ unsureĀ ifĀ heĀ couldĀ believeĀ itĀ .Ā whatĀ didĀ sheĀ haveĀ toĀ stickĀ aroundĀ forĀ Ā ?Ā whyĀ wouldĀ sheĀ wantĀ toĀ ?Ā Ā heĀ wasnātĀ worthĀ herĀ timeĀ ,Ā heĀ knewĀ thatĀ Ā .Ā friendshipĀ orĀ otherwiseĀ ,Ā heĀ didnātĀ feelĀ likeĀ heĀ wasĀ worthĀ itĀ andĀ heĀ figuredĀ ifĀ anyoneĀ knewĀ howĀ unworthyĀ heĀ wasĀ ,Ā itādĀ beĀ miaĀ .Ā sheĀ knewĀ himĀ betterĀ thanĀ mostĀ .Ā sheādĀ seenĀ himĀ inĀ aĀ lotĀ ofĀ differentĀ positionsĀ .Ā althoughĀ ,Ā theyĀ hadĀ bothĀ keptĀ thingsĀ fromĀ each otherĀ duringĀ theirĀ relationshipĀ ,Ā thatĀ didnātĀ meanĀ thatĀ sheĀ didnātĀ seeĀ aĀ lotĀ stillĀ .Ā Ā Ā Ā ā¤Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā okayĀ ,Ā ifĀ youĀ haveĀ toĀ proveĀ somethingĀ toĀ yourselfĀ thanĀ iĀ wonātĀ stopĀ youĀ .Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā heĀ noddedĀ aĀ littleĀ ,Ā pressingĀ hisĀ lipsĀ togetherĀ forĀ aĀ momentĀ beforeĀ swallowingĀ aĀ littleĀ andĀ bringingĀ theĀ coffeeĀ upĀ toĀ hisĀ lipsĀ ,Ā takingĀ aĀ smallĀ sipĀ ofĀ theĀ hotĀ liquidĀ .Ā placingĀ itĀ backĀ downĀ onĀ theĀ tableĀ ,Ā heĀ couldnātĀ helpĀ theĀ sighĀ thatĀ fellĀ fromĀ hisĀ lipsĀ asĀ heĀ shookĀ hisĀ headĀ andĀ lookedĀ intoĀ herĀ eyesĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā butĀ youĀ shouldĀ knowĀ ,Ā itĀ Ā wasnātĀ youĀ thatĀ hurtĀ meĀ .Ā iāveĀ alwaysĀ doneĀ aĀ prettyĀ greatĀ jobĀ ofĀ doingĀ thatĀ toĀ myselfĀ .Ā youĀ justĀ ā¦Ā youĀ endedĀ upĀ gettingĀ stuckĀ inĀ theĀ middleĀ ofĀ myĀ ownĀ shitĀ .Ā iĀ shouldnātĀ haveĀ putĀ youĀ inĀ thatĀ positionĀ .Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā itĀ wasĀ trueĀ ,Ā wyattĀ wasĀ hurtĀ ,Ā butĀ heĀ blamedĀ himselfĀ moreĀ thanĀ anythingĀ .Ā itĀ wasĀ justĀ easierĀ gettingĀ angryĀ atĀ herĀ thanĀ continuingĀ toĀ beatĀ himselfĀ upĀ .Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā andĀ iĀ couldĀ neverĀ hateĀ youĀ ,Ā miaĀ .Ā doĀ youĀ everĀ pissĀ meĀ offĀ Ā ?Ā Ā sureĀ ,Ā andĀ iāmĀ sureĀ iĀ pissĀ youĀ offĀ constantlyĀ butĀ hatingĀ youĀ isnātĀ somethingĀ iĀ canĀ doĀ .Ā evenĀ ifĀ ,Ā somethingĀ iĀ thinkĀ thatādĀ makeĀ thingsĀ aĀ lotĀ easierĀ .Ā ifĀ iĀ couldĀ justĀ hateĀ youĀ andĀ forgetĀ aboutĀ youĀ ,Ā notĀ careĀ .Ā butĀ thatāsĀ notĀ thatĀ caseĀ ā¦Ā soĀ ,Ā youĀ donātĀ haveĀ toĀ keepĀ thinkingĀ anyĀ ofĀ thatĀ .Ā itāsĀ resolvedĀ .Ā feelĀ freeĀ toĀ letĀ yourselfĀ offĀ theĀ hookĀ .Ā youĀ donātĀ haveĀ toĀ stickĀ aroundĀ .Ā noĀ hardĀ feelingsĀ .Ā Ā Ā ā
if you have to prove something to yourselfĀ ; that sentence caught a lot of her attention, and it would be a lie to say it didn't bother her. mia's ever-expressive eyebrows twitched, as well as her lips curled, and now it was her turn to let a heavy, long breath echo through the space between them. mia didn't want to prove exactly anything to herself with the whole situation. she just wanted to lessen the wars she had been waging on just about everything in her life. would it be that hard for him to realize that she simply wanted to have his presence back?? it was difficult for mia to say her wishes with all her words, but as time went on she saw that she would have no other choice. wyatt was too suspicious, too withdrawn and mia couldn't deny that at some point in her relationship with him it started to wear on her. it wasn't easy to deal with someone like that, but she just liked him so much that she let it go, and did everything she could to make sure she was there. but, somehow, that wasnāt enough. she didn't feel enough, and then everything went downhill. mia started to weigh in if it was really worth living like that. there came a time when, unfortunately, only love no longer justified living in constant struggle.
thinking about struggle was quite ironic, since none of that went away when they were done. despite all the problems, her parents liked wyatt, and that was one more point in his favor. ending a relationship was never easy, especially when mia still loved him and felt like a failure for not being able to keep what they had, not even their complicity. as she listened to him speak, she pushed some more of the liquid down her throat, feeling that the caffeine helped her keep her thoughts in order to continue to conduct the conversation well. for a moment, she wondered if she was really doing the right thing. deep down, she felt so, because sitting there facing him and having a civil conversation after all this time just felt right. it was familiar, it made her comfortable and she liked that feeling.Ā mia felt that was what she had been missing in her life lately.Ā it was a relief to hear from his mouth that he didn't hate her, and something deep inside (Ā long asleepĀ ) stirred when he let it be understood that he hadn't been able to forget her either. romano had to restrain herself, not let her hopes get too high, much less lose the line of the limits she needed to leave drawn. they would be friends, and that's all. mia didn't want to feel that her loneliness made her put everything to waste with any kind of relapse. they were fine like this, wyatt didnāt need her to mess things up in his life with something that had to stay in the past. maybe they just weren't meant to be and everything was fine.
āĀ Ā i don't want to prove anything.Ā Ā ā she replied at last, shaking her head slightly. she made her eyes rise from the cup between her hands, meeting his warm browns, sustaining the exchange of looks that a sincere conversation needed to have. āĀ Ā you also got into the mess my own life was in. i think we both started at the wrong time, neither of us was ready to get into a serious relationship. on my part, at least, i can assure you that it was all for real. i still like you, wyatt, whether you want to believe it or not. but itās kind of caring, something different, you know? shit, we're human, it's practically impossible to get rid of 100% of things.Ā Ā ā she finished with another sigh, rolling her eyes slightly. āĀ Ā you actually pissed me off a lot, but you also made me laugh just as much. i think you must have a gift for that.Ā Ā ā mia let out a small amused smile. a silence stretched for a moment, when mia tried to find her next words. āĀ Ā okay. if that's what you want, i can do it. but i need you to know, that i really want to be your friend again. no hard feelings.Ā Ā ā