You used to write letters during the nights after a mission or on your days off, after eating your favorite ice cream, or even after fixing some glitch with you Jinki. That was your way of expressing yourself. Writing, writing, writing...
They had no addressee since you didn't intend to send them; It was just a way to vent. You even wrote letters for your colleagues and kept them tied with different color codes: yellow for Enjin, red for Riyo and sky blue for your dear Zanka...and you kept them all at the bottom of your dresser drawer
Rarely did you write for anyone who wasn't Zanka. Every night you noted the way his eyes sparkled when he talked to Lovely Assistaff, when he smiled at you, or that time he ate the cookies you baked for him, some were burnt, but he never complained
"Dear Zanka..." You always started with the same phrase. He made you feel in such a special way. The way he looked away blushing when you conplimented him, when you took his hands and his fingers intertwined with yours quickly and tightly, as if afraid to let you go.
He made you understand feelings you didn't know you could feel.
Every word you poured into those letters was a reflection of your thoughts and experiences. You never intended for Zanka or anyone else yo read them; It was your private way of processing things
This time, you had a disagreement with him minutes before locking yourself in your room to write. You picked up your pen and began, "Dear Zanka" you wrote, "the way we argued today made me think about how much time we've spent together and the way we solve our problems...you are a fool, and I am a fool who loves you intensely. I wish I could say these things to your face, but the way your eyes wide every time you look at me bothers me; ir bothers me that you're such a fool. Foolish, foolish Zanka. It bothers me the way you hold my hand as if I were going to disappear, and It bothers me the way I cling to you to keep you by my side
Foolish, foolish Zanka, I hope you know how many times I've dreamed of you, and I anxiously await the morning so I can see you and hug you again. Foolish, foolish Zanka... You cause feelings in me that I cannot control.
Foolish, foolish me, because every time we fight, I hope you run after me and hug me and tell me that you'll always be with me. And the worst part of all is that you do.
You will always be with me, and I will always be with you. Foolish, foolish this love I feel for you... oh dear Zanka, I hope we can spend all our time together".
jbbartram-illu
2087
origamiaround
dededos
germansingergirl
turnnoffyourmind
