OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND

surely there are sacrifices to be made, but i will silently make them and not let it affect anyone in any way. i can be super careful but at the same time not give a fuck because what do they know?

it’s not like i haven’t tried with them

it’s so much easier to “blame it on the drugs”

even when there is literally no drugs

and you are just losing your mind

and have i not been in love? i know i say that it’s not like i am “in” love with her, because i felt like i needed to be chosen first. but i am not. and maybe not because she is blind, or maybe she is, to this whole conundrumous thing, but maybe because she is too afraid of the thought as it would seem absurd to other people. not to her mom tho, maybe to her siblings but even they will come around. i’m sure of it.

but there’s no point, because i have really let it go. that’s true love.

i have moved on

i think it’s gone again

another year without

so many risks associated with it. jaihok, it will not matter. i need to know whether i have given up or not.

i’m quite sure i’m dead.