dont think about it; just go

-- accidentallyCutetastic [AC] is OFFLINE. --

        ==> Close laptop and set it off to the side.

You do this without hesitation, body feeling numb, as a predecessor to the overwhelming pain, grief, total and utter want for someone in particular. You curl up in your spot on the couch, resting crossed arms on bent legs, face hidden behind a curtain of blonde hair, tainted with a brutally painful to look at, distinguishing red at the roots, as you begin to shake. Painted nails dig into pale skin, creating pink crescents left in wake of a terror that you’re beginning to relive.

You start to sob, the grief coursing through your body as you struggle to keep under a certain level of noise, so your neighbors don’t think that something’s wrong. There is, but you want to get through this without the hospital’s help this time. Your throat fights against you as your sobs begin to get louder, breaths getting harder to catch, control slipping from your shaky grasp. You cry out a name in between a sob and a cry of pain, garbled and suffering.

a…September thirteenth. Why?…o

oh

um

[SMS: Cat troll] well the problem is is that im sort of scared going out yknow? [SMS: Cat troll] like i might hurt myself or someone [SMS: Cat troll] but yeah we can hang out no worries

for about an hour, i’m going to be accepting ideas to stabilize her backstory, as i’ve only got the outline done

aka, you can give me ideas family related, session related, etc, and i’ll see if they’ll fit!

[SMS: Cat troll] i guess things are sort of shitty for me rn [SMS: Cat troll] like sometimes i feel like im the only one who does hallucinate [SMS: Cat troll] its a long story but all i can say is that i keep someone that i don’t want to see.

( x. meme )

you’ve heard of johnnep now get ready for

JOHN CENAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA