Mechanized Justice

But don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows consumption doesn't cause comas.

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But don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows consumption doesn't cause comas.

...

But don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows consumption doesn't cause comas.

Wh-

It’s a lizardman! Like on the train!

Think of it - lizardmen and fishmen! Apart from the Lights, Sorcerous Beasts, Straficidal Unicorns, and Oppressive Humidity this island is pretty neat. And even some of those are debatable.

Thaddeus. THADDEUS. Shut up about the wildlife, this shit is impor-

I dunno, it might be nice to gestate in… not too tall or spindly, nice broad branches, no spines, firmish round leaves, attractive pods in the season - you could probably use them as wind chimes. That’s a thing, right? It sounds pretty perfect - apart from the smell. Can elves smell, do you think? But maybe you would find the smell kinda pleasant if you were soul-bonded to it, in a pheremoney kind of way.

What sort of tree would you pick if you knew you had to spend - how long do gnomes gestate for anyway? Hey, if you and Ristezze have kids, do you think they’ll take human length or gnome length or somewhere in between?

As for me, I- 

Thaddeus. Thaddeus, I’m pretty sure gnomes gestate for the normal amount of time. I don’t think-

God damnit, Thaddeus! I’m not a research topic! YOU DON’T GET TO RESEARCH MY MATING AND GESTATION HABITS, I’M A PERSON!

And what does being a person have to do with anything? You can do research on people - how else do you expect to find out anything about them?

And it’s not okay to make people your guinea pigs, especially when it’s something as intimate as mating and without asking!

Anyway, it’s not like I’m telling you what to do, sheesh. Though if you’re taking suggestions you should try to have at least four children to get a representative sampling… How many are in a typical gnomish litter anyway?

But you’re right. It looks like Ogden has passed out. I’ll make sure he doesn’t have alcohol poisoning, pull Straf out if the pit, and meet up with y'all down at the beach?

And GNOMES DON’T HAVE LITTERS! WE HAVE CHILDREN ONE OR MAYBE TWO AT A TIME!!! LIKE MOST OTHER SPECIES!!! I-

And if you’re gonna be cagey with your data that’s your business, but I will say it’s not very scientific of you

Wh-

It’s a lizardman! Like on the train!

Think of it - lizardmen and fishmen! Apart from the Lights, Sorcerous Beasts, Straficidal Unicorns, and Oppressive Humidity this island is pretty neat. And even some of those are debatable.

Thaddeus. THADDEUS. Shut up about the wildlife, this shit is impor-

I dunno, it might be nice to gestate in… not too tall or spindly, nice broad branches, no spines, firmish round leaves, attractive pods in the season - you could probably use them as wind chimes. That’s a thing, right? It sounds pretty perfect - apart from the smell. Can elves smell, do you think? But maybe you would find the smell kinda pleasant if you were soul-bonded to it, in a pheremoney kind of way.

What sort of tree would you pick if you knew you had to spend - how long do gnomes gestate for anyway? Hey, if you and Ristezze have kids, do you think they’ll take human length or gnome length or somewhere in between?

As for me, I- 

Thaddeus. Thaddeus, I’m pretty sure gnomes gestate for the normal amount of time. I don’t think-

God damnit, Thaddeus! I’m not a research topic! YOU DON’T GET TO RESEARCH MY MATING AND GESTATION HABITS, I’M A PERSON!

And what does being a person have to do with anything? You can do research on people - how else do you expect to find out anything about them?

And it’s not okay to make people your guinea pigs, especially when it’s something as intimate as mating and without asking!

Anyway, it’s not like I’m telling you what to do, sheesh. Though if you’re taking suggestions you should try to have at least four children to get a representative sampling… How many are in a typical gnomish litter anyway?

But you’re right. It looks like Ogden has passed out. I’ll make sure he doesn’t have alcohol poisoning, pull Straf out if the pit, and meet up with y'all down at the beach?

And GNOMES DON’T HAVE LITTERS! WE HAVE CHILDREN ONE OR MAYBE TWO AT A TIME!!! LIKE MOST OTHER SPECIES!!! I-

And if you’re gonna be cagey with your data that’s your business, but I will say it’s not very scientific of you

Wh-

It’s a lizardman! Like on the train!

Think of it - lizardmen and fishmen! Apart from the Lights, Sorcerous Beasts, Straficidal Unicorns, and Oppressive Humidity this island is pretty neat. And even some of those are debatable.

Thaddeus. THADDEUS. Shut up about the wildlife, this shit is impor-

I dunno, it might be nice to gestate in… not too tall or spindly, nice broad branches, no spines, firmish round leaves, attractive pods in the season - you could probably use them as wind chimes. That’s a thing, right? It sounds pretty perfect - apart from the smell. Can elves smell, do you think? But maybe you would find the smell kinda pleasant if you were soul-bonded to it, in a pheremoney kind of way.

What sort of tree would you pick if you knew you had to spend - how long do gnomes gestate for anyway? Hey, if you and Ristezze have kids, do you think they’ll take human length or gnome length or somewhere in between?

As for me, I- 

Thaddeus. Thaddeus, I’m pretty sure gnomes gestate for the normal amount of time. I don’t think-

God damnit, Thaddeus! I’m not a research topic! YOU DON’T GET TO RESEARCH MY MATING AND GESTATION HABITS, I’M A PERSON!

And what does being a person have to do with anything? You can do research on people - how else do you expect to find out anything about them?

And it’s not okay to make people your guinea pigs, especially when it’s something as intimate as mating and without asking!

Anyway, it’s not like I’m telling you what to do, sheesh. Though if you’re taking suggestions you should try to have at least four children to get a representative sampling… How many are in a typical gnomish litter anyway?

But you’re right. It looks like Ogden has passed out. I’ll make sure he doesn’t have alcohol poisoning, pull Straf out if the pit, and meet up with y'all down at the beach?

And GNOMES DON’T HAVE LITTERS! WE HAVE CHILDREN ONE OR MAYBE TWO AT A TIME!!! LIKE MOST OTHER SPECIES!!! I-

And if you’re gonna be cagey with your data that’s your business, but I will say it’s not very scientific of you

Wh-

It’s a lizardman! Like on the train!

Think of it - lizardmen and fishmen! Apart from the Lights, Sorcerous Beasts, Straficidal Unicorns, and Oppressive Humidity this island is pretty neat. And even some of those are debatable.

Thaddeus. THADDEUS. Shut up about the wildlife, this shit is impor-

I dunno, it might be nice to gestate in… not too tall or spindly, nice broad branches, no spines, firmish round leaves, attractive pods in the season - you could probably use them as wind chimes. That’s a thing, right? It sounds pretty perfect - apart from the smell. Can elves smell, do you think? But maybe you would find the smell kinda pleasant if you were soul-bonded to it, in a pheremoney kind of way.

What sort of tree would you pick if you knew you had to spend - how long do gnomes gestate for anyway? Hey, if you and Ristezze have kids, do you think they’ll take human length or gnome length or somewhere in between?

As for me, I- 

Thaddeus. Thaddeus, I’m pretty sure gnomes gestate for the normal amount of time. I don’t think-

God damnit, Thaddeus! I’m not a research topic! YOU DON’T GET TO RESEARCH MY MATING AND GESTATION HABITS, I’M A PERSON!

And what does being a person have to do with anything? You can do research on people - how else do you expect to find out anything about them?

And it’s not okay to make people your guinea pigs, especially when it’s something as intimate as mating and without asking!

Anyway, it’s not like I’m telling you what to do, sheesh. Though if you’re taking suggestions you should try to have at least four children to get a representative sampling… How many are in a typical gnomish litter anyway?

But you’re right. It looks like Ogden has passed out. I’ll make sure he doesn’t have alcohol poisoning, pull Straf out if the pit, and meet up with y'all down at the beach?

And GNOMES DON’T HAVE LITTERS! WE HAVE CHILDREN ONE OR MAYBE TWO AT A TIME!!! LIKE MOST OTHER SPECIES!!! I-

And if you’re gonna be cagey with your data that’s your business, but I will say it’s not very scientific of you