RobinDraconis

Bilbo: *Holding up a basket of flowers* These are kinda cute. Thorin: Bilbo, that’s gay. Bilbo: We’ve been dating for 2 years—

Thorin: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night? Bilbo: It was autocorrect. Thorin: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please hit me with your axe."? Bilbo: Yes.

Thorin: I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Bilbo: Wow haha, that sounds like a marriage proposal. Thorin, getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.

Thorin: I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you… Bilbo: Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me, and no take backs, honey.

Thorin: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Bilbo! Bilbo: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

Bilbo: Hey, about that love letter you sent me- Thorin: blushes What are your thoughts? Bilbo: The fourth sentence- Thorin: Yeah, that’s where I got really emotional and I- Bilbo: It’s “you’re” not “your”.

Bilbo: The stars are so beautiful… Thorin: They're just giant balls of gas. Bilbo: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then- Thorin: And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you. Bilbo: Oh…

Thorin: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos- Bilbo: I wrote you a poem. Thorin, already crying:You did?

Thorin: You got a date yet Bilbo? Bilbo: No… Thorin: Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

Bilbo: seductively takes off glasses Bilbo: Wow… Thorin: blushes Haha… what? Bilbo: You're really blurry.

Bilbo, in Thorin’s bed: Morning… how’d ya sleep last night? Thorin, knocking Bilbo off: WHAT THE HELL?! Bilbo: Ow— Thorin: What were you doing in my bed? You were supposed to sleep on the air mattress on the floor! Bilbo: I had a nightmare. Thorin: You had a nightmare? What are you, five years old? Bilbo: Listen, I needed to feel comfortable and I was getting this perverse power dynamic vibe from me sleeping on the floor and you sleeping up there- Thorin, in a royal accent: Why yes, how high and mighty I am up on my twin XL! Bilbo: That is not what I meant— Thorin: Silence in the presence of your king, who sleeps a lofty twelve and a half inches above the ground! Bilbo: Listen, I’m not ashamed. I slept comfortably when I got up on your bed and I’m sure you did too. Thorin: Yeah, okay- Bilbo: You know what? I wanna know. How’d you sleep last night? Thorin: …That was the best I’ve slept in a while. Bilbo, gasping: The king slept comfortably with a peasant in his bed! Thorin: I did not consent to this- Bilbo, dramatically: But my liege, our love is forbidden! Thorin, on the phone: Hi, is this the front desk? Yeah, there’s a bed bug in my room and he’s(edit)3 foot 5, he’s got red hair. Bilbo: Ask them if they have one of those “Do Not Disturb” signs. I’ll put it on the door next time we… do it. Thorin: Okay, I'ma go shower and wash all of the you off of me. Bilbo: Oh, maybe together we could— Thorin: NO. Bilbo: Just to save water— Thorin: No! You don’t even pay for the water! Bilbo: …Good point.

Thorin: Laughs Babe, you had a crush on me? That’s embarrassing— Bilbo: We’re married.

Thorin: So… what would you do if you were in bed with me? Bilbo: Depends. Is your bed comfortable? Thorin: Yes. Bilbo: I'd sleep.

Thorin: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized. Bilbo: steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to his knees and sob while apologizing profusely Thorin: That one. I want that one.

*when they meet at Bag End* Thorin, trying to flirt: So, you come around here often? Bilbo, confused: I mean, this is my house, so yeah.