roane

i am going to get “i miss my ex” tattooed across my forehead i think

we love driving six hours round trip in a company car without ac with a terrible sunburn and stopping to get your dog’s ashes on the way back and then getting pulled over immediately after for the first time ever because you supposedly jerked into the lane and there’s a border cover by the license plate from the dealership and just that alone is probable cause but because it’s not your car you don’t know where the papers are and when you find them one of the two officers informs you that the insurance card expired on july 1 but then crying enough that they let you go :•) yeehaw :•)

it’s been months now, but i’m still tired. i swear i haven’t slept a full night since last year. the days are more and more bearable as time passes though. i smile sometimes at the memory of you … when i see your favorite flowers, when i finally found bed linens the color you wanted. you’re still the first person i think of when i hear good news or gossip. i still add music to the playlists you’ll likely never hear. i still save things i want to show you and take note of the things i wanted to tell you. i think of late nights and movies and jokes. there’s still a space for you; i think there always will be.

it’s easier for me to post than to text, but i’m thinking about you this week (especially today). i still want to be there for you when or if you ever need it

wow i love waking myself up from nonsensical dreams!!! hahaha and then not going back to sleep after!!!

it’s hot in my bedroom, and i can’t sleep. i hope you’re doing better…

heeey did you know that it’s been three months ? aand that i think about you all the time ?

had a dream about you so intense, so realistic i had to start vague posting again

I’m so tired and have almost been up for 24 hours and I’m about to drive home from a 14 hour shift without eating and all I can think about is your voice and your face and how I felt in your arms and how I loved you

god I love getting dressed in some stupid little outfit that’s going to make me want to scratch until my skin bleeds and I escape this fleshy prison later!! I love wearing the stupid lacy socks and the stompy boots and the metal just to cry my fucking eyes out I’m sure!!! I love being a person!!!!

thought of you tonight while I walked out to my car. there was a perfect breeze and a really pretty tree … all I could think was how much better that moment could have been with you on my arm