🙃

The teenager at my job is so funny, she jokingly asked how my break was after I came back from the bathroom and after I said "can't a bitch change their pad in peace?" She said "a real nine to fiver would get a hysterectomy." There was no hesitation, no gap between what I said and what she said

ancient vampire characters who pursue teenagers like.... romantically... you are absolutely swagless. die

i don't care if she looks like your dead wife if she's worried about what she'll wear to prom and you personally remember the louisiana purchase what common ground could you possibly have i am going to stake you

don’t trust me by 3oh!3 comes on and the feminism leaves my body for a full three minutes and twelve seconds

mamma mia! i-a hate-a gay people!

Why did “be critical of your media” turn into “find all its flaws and hate it” why did people become allergic to FUN

Because people confuse “critical as in critical thinking” with “critical as in criticizing something,” so they think that “look for something bad, no matter how far-fetched” is what “being critical” means.

no offence but i think a lot of us me included don’t actually want romantic love as badly as we think and really are just lonely and crave a closeness and intimacy that feels out of reach in friendships because of society’s emphasis on marriage and the nuclear family so we project that into the never ending search for a perfect love and a soulmate when really we all just want to mean something to someone

be the cowboy