Cor Volito

these are things that have helped my system function a little better and individual alters/all of us as a whole feel a little better:

hygiene:

if you experience memory loss, it might be hard to remember if the body's hygiene has been taken care of. trauma also makes it hard to do these things for a multitude of reasons. you might want to try using

* oil-absorbing sheets. these are usually around a dollar and come in a pack of 70 ish. using these will help you break out less when you don't have enough energy or motivation to wash your face. there are ones infused with things like vitamin e and green tea as well!

* dry shampoo. if you have curly hair i recommend getting one with charcoal in it. charcoal works for oily hair as well. the brand igk has good ones. they come in big bottles and are reasonably priced for the size. it's better than batiste for sure and caters to more hair types.

* mini flossers. it's better than nothing at all and some are flavored. you can do it lying down, watching tv, whatever, since they're small.

* change your clothes often. if you forgot whether someone showered or not, you can at least feel fresh by doing this.

* moisturize. lotion keeps your skin hydrated and softer and can stop acne if you get it on areas other than your face because it combats dryness. moisturize your face as well. if you are prone to breakouts use an oil-free sunscreen. wear sunscreen no matter if you get sunburns or not! there are clear sunscreens or ones with brown tints that don't leave white marks on dark skin. sunscreen can also fade acne scars.

regarding trauma and emotions:

* let go of the things that trigger you. lets say one alter who is a trauma holder feels sad and depressed all the time. these alters who formed to process specific emotions and trauma might not be able to feel many other feelings on the regular. if they listen to mostly sad music try taking a break from that. delete triggering songs from your playlist and listen to others that have a different tone. remember that purposely triggering yourself is an act of self-harm and not healthy.

* rate your discomfort. if you go above, lets say 7-8, or above knowing that something you're about to do will make the situation worse, then give yourself a break. are you self reflecting too much? do you feel like you are on the verge of a breakdown? try to step away from these feelings once you feel they are getting unhealthy and out of hand. try to do things that will lower the number, such as watching a not triggering tv show.

* if you don't know what to do, do what is the most beneficial first. (this also works for adhd) have you not eaten in 2 hours but not showered in a week and feel like you will absolutely die if you don't wash your hair? showering will bring you the most comfort, so do it first.

sense of self:

since you are sharing one body it can be hard to find your sense of self. this is a common thing especially in OSDD. it is just a symptom and cannot be fully changed but it is possible to become okay with it. here are some little things you can do

* wear products of your favorite scent (if you can handle scents that is. make sure they aren't a bad sensory input) if each alter has different products in their favorite scent it can help you feel more like yourself.

* wear a certain small accessory such as a ring or carry around a small item that contains significance to certain alters.

* a lot of posts like these just recommend to buy clothes that each alter likes but let's be real that can be really expensive especially if you have many alters. what we do is try to focus on particular colors or buy basic everyday clothing that might have a specific aspect certain alters might like. for example a normal t-shirt but it might have lace or embroidery.

* find ways to express yourself! i have an interest in writing/media/art in general but the others not so much. just because this is the case it doesn't mean you don't deserve to have your own interests. having sideblogs of your own can help. im shamelessly linking mine @mangohija

* trauma, depression, and other mental illnesses can really harm your sense of self and make it feel like life is just going past you. it is important to realize that you exist. you are a person just like everyone else. you have likes and dislikes and interests and thoughts and hopes just like everyone else. this thinking made me realize that just because i'm a part of a system and working towards better functioning does not mean i should neglect the fact that i am a human, nonetheless one split from trauma, and deserve to enjoy life. (of course if you're an alter that is not human this goes for you as well!)

Last year, I was officially diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder, and let me tell you that I was shocked.

After getting misdiagnosed with almost everything out there, I was diagnosed with something that I never thought I could have, ever.

A couple of months later, I started going into the self doubt spiral.

This is my advice for systems doubting themselves:

Doubting yourself is completely normal. DID is meant to be covert and hidden, it’s a defense mechanism after all, almost every system out there doubted their experience at some point, it’s okay.

NOT EVERY SYSTEM IS LIKE SYSTEMS ON TUMBLR. Oh my god, I WISH someone would have told me this last year. You don’t have to have a bed in your room for each alter. You don’t have to have perfect communication with your alters. You don’t have to talk with them on a daily basis and switch 1000 times a day, just no. My communication with my alters is terrible. I sometimes go months without fully switching, days and even weeks without alters talking in my head. My alters mostly work through passive influence and that’s okay. You really don’t have to have a system like the ones you see on here to be valid, please remember that.

Not everything’s “you’re valid uwu”, no. Sometimes you make mistakes, sometimes doctors make mistakes and it’s okay. There are a lot of disorders that might have a similar presentation to DID like BPD, schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. You need to be completely honest with yourself about your experiences. You really don’t want to get misdiagnosed and get treated for something that you don’t have “terrible idea, believe me”. If you’re honest with yourself about your experience, then there’s nothing to worry about.

Please don’t obsess over labels. There was this time when I was almost always co conscious with my protector and I kept wondering if I actually have OSDD, and it made me really depressed. It does not matter whether you have DID or OSDD, they’re almost the same thing and the point is, you have gone through trauma that fractured your identity so it really doesn’t matter what you have. Doctors treat symptoms, not labels. It’s okay to be confused for a while ❤️.

Yes, alters can go dormant for a lot of time and that’s completely normal. No, that doesn’t mean that you’re faking.

Sometimes you can switch without knowing or noticing the switch, so don’t obsess over why you aren’t switching too often.

It takes A LOT of time to have a good communication with your alters. It really isn’t as easy as tumblr makes it seems to be.

You don’t have to have obvious and overt symptoms of DID to be valid. I haven’t had so many proofs of my amnesia, only 4 times or something. I have also never experienced dissociative fugue, and that’s okay.

Amnesia for your own amnesia. Sometimes you don’t even notice that you lost time or that you said something that you have no memory of until someone points it out. So again don’t obsess over not switching too often.

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT focus too much on your alters or your disorder. Do not go googling symptoms of DID and reading tons of articles for hours. This is just gonna make your self doubt much worse. It’s okay to learn about your disorder, just don’t do it too much because everyone experiences DID differently and that might increase your doubt.

Always keep in mind that DID is different for everyone. My best friend has DID and our systems are completely different. He switches much more often and he has no idea how many alters does he have, doesn’t know their names or anything about them, however my amnesia is much worse than his. Seeing systems acting differently doesn’t mean that you’re fake.

Since I brought this up, it’s okay not to know anything about your alters. I have around 16 alters and maybe more, I only know and have communicated with 6 of them. Again, it’s not as easy as tumblr makes it seems.

It’s okay not to feel like you’re a multiple. It’s okay not to refer to yourself as “we”. I personally never refer to myself as we unless I’m talking specifically about me and my alters.

It’s okay to have more overt symptoms after getting your diagnosis, and it’s also okay for your symptoms to be less after diagnosis. It’s really common that alters start being much more visible after diagnosis, that doesn’t mean you’re faking. Despite being less common but it’s okay to have less symptoms after getting diagnosed. Your alters might be just scared, I have experienced this and it made me feel like I was faking it all, but it doesn’t. Sometimes, your alters are as scared as you, maybe even more.

I wish someone would have told me this last year, so here I am, telling you why you shouldn’t worry, this too shall pass, trust me.

Also, feel free to add your own advice.

If you need anything, don’t hesitate to message us, we’d be more than glad to help!