he was a skater boy

when he reassures her again, sia stares at him for a long minute  -  deciding instead to just believe his words and nod her head.  “ if you’re sure ..” it doesn’t relieve the guilt from hitting him by accident, but at the very least it comforts her to know that she didn’t really hurt him.  though she supposes that this is a silly thing to feel guilty about as he’s telling her not to  -  it’s just that her own head won’t give her a break at times.

sia turns her attention instead to picking up the crumpled balls of paper that litter the floor  -  it’s not half as bad as she thought it was, but it is a little embarrassing to have company in the room and still have it so messy.  “ i know it happens, but it shouldn’t have.  it’s not like i’m at home alone.”  she turns to pick another paper ball up and sighs.

“ i won’t leave them, of course .. i always clean up my messes.  sometimes, writing songs is just.  hard work …” she pauses, lifting her head up to him.  “ the words don’t always come out the way you want them to, i guess.  so then it turns into .. this.” sia gestures at the room, now at least partly cleaned from her efforts.  “ oh .. hmm .. well if you want to talk about it.  the room is free, you know.  i think i’m good at listening, but if you want to keep it to yourself, that’s okay too.”

he did have to laugh just a little to himself about how worried she seemed to be about the whole thing. it was just a bit of paper, after all. if it were something heavier he might have been more pressed about things, but as it stood, one piece of crumpled paper hitting him in the head not that big of a deal. “if i weren’t sure, then i wouldn’t say so,” he did have to point out with a small shrug of his shoulder. though, admittedly, he was a pretty shy person about voicing his opinions and probably would have lied and said he was fine even if he wasn’t. 

if haruto were more of a neat freak, then he probably would have started freaking out the moment he saw the state of the room and started picking things up himself. but as it was, he wasn’t that bothered and he was sure that the mess wasn’t going to stay like this and sia would end up cleaning it up herself. and if he happened to stick around, he’d probably end up helping as well just to get it done faster. 

jkookrk​:

this time he can’t help but smile gently as he shakes his head reassuringly. despite his attitude and being a huge pain in the arse to work with sometimes, haruto was still after all just a troubled teenager. “there’s not. if anyone tries to tell you otherwise you tell me and we’ll beat them up together, okay?” 

not the most grown up there but all things considered jeongguk thought he was doing fine. unable to help himself he reached forward to give the younger’s hair just a quick ruffle, almost too short for him to react to. he knew haruto hated it but this time he couldn’t help himself.

“don’t mention it, kiddo. like I said- each to their own. everyone experiences life differently and makes their own experiences at their own pace. nothing wrong with that.”

while he most likely knew that jeongguk was joking when he spoke about beating people up, haruto still had to frown just a little, “i don’t think i’d want to tell you about it if you’re going to beat someone up.” he’d rather stay out of the way of that one. and besides, no had really told him that he should be worrying about girls and kissing or aything in the first place. it was just hiw own worries that he seemed to be the only one not worried about any of that stuff. 

though the ruffle of his hair was short, haruto was still greatly annoyed but it, reaching to try and swat the hand away the moment it came too close. though he was just a little slow, huffing as jeongguk managed to get away with it without a slap to the hand. “quit ruffling my hair i’m not a baby.” 

ianrk​:

“ah, i’ve heard japanese is useful for idols,” he comments lightheartedly. he smiles still, but sighs, “more useful than french probably. it felt a lot more useful when all i was doing was ballet.” that much is true. his original art form is rooted in french culture. that combined with the prevalence of native french speakers in his home country made french seem like the second most important language in his life. now that he’s here, wandering the halls of a record company where the only romance language anyone seems to care about is english, he’s starting to feel it might be a bit obsolete, to say the least.

“you should teach me some. give me a leg up on the competition,” he jokes with a playful grin. in reality, he isn’t concerned about the so-called competition at all; it isn’t that his ego is so large that he isn’t naturally intimidated by the competitive atmosphere, but rather that said atmosphere is one he’s grown up in his entire life, and if he’s learned anything from it, it’s that he will end up where he’s supposed to be, one way or another. he’d much rather enjoy himself, improve himself, and make friends and connections along the way, rather than focus on his faults in comparison to others.

“i can teach you some english, if you want. probably more useful than french,” he adds with a chuckle, though the offer is genuine.

haruto denies the decency of his korean and ian smiles, able to relate to his response automatically, “hey it’s better than mine at least.”

i don’t know anything. ah, yes. ian knows that feeling all too well. he’d expected life as an idol trainee to be different from life as a ballet disciple, but the vastness of that difference was still a bit daunting. ‘fish out of water’ didn’t seem to even begin to cover it.

“that makes two of us,” he agrees warmly, shooting haruto a sympathetic smile.

“it’s not as impressive as french, though,” he did have to offer with a small shrug of his shoulder. “not many people speak french, so it’s way cooler than a language a lot of people can understand.” while sure, not everyone understood japanese, a lot of idols did for when they did promotions in japan, and there were a couple of other japanese trainees around as well so the language was certainly more widely known than french was. and for that haruto supposed he was thankful, at least some people had been able to communicate with him in the beginning when he could barely speak a conherant korean sentence. and even now he much preferred speaking japanese when he could and just avoiding korean all together when the cnace came about for it. 

though at the suggestion he teach him some japanese, haruto did blink a little with surrpise. “you want to learn japanese?” of course, he wouldn’t complain about the chance to get to speak some of his native language, but still the prospect of having to teach someone did make him a little nervous. “i don’t really think i would be the best teacher,” he did have to warn him, rubbing the back of his neck a little nervously. and the offer to learn english did have him laughing just a little with a soft shake of his head, just enough to make his fringe bounce slightly. “i think two languages is probably my limit.” 

and he still had to frown about his korean skills, “i have been reliably informed my korean is just a horrible mix of different dialects i’ve copied from everyone else.” he just tended to pick up spekaing patterns from everyone around him, and as everyone was from all over the place, he didn’t really know any better when he ended up mashing it all together. 

rkgray​:

he looked up at the younger man for a moment, as the other scolded him lightly. well, that was kind of awkward, he thought, while he rubbed his nape. gray wasn’t usually the type of guy who would go overboard and start becoming careless, but strangely enough he had been feeling restless most of the time. at some point it was like he had stopped caring. “yeah, probably.” he said, more to himself than to the other. haruto and he didn’t had the closest relationship and yet, here he was being told by a boy years younger than him to be more careful. haruto was absolutely right, and yet it didn’t sit right with him. in case of a serious injury, he didn’t quite believed that the coaches would care as much as they would if the injured person was someone as young as haruto instead.

gray was realistic enough that missing out on training for several days, maybe weeks would have more consequences for him than just a simple scolding. punishments of any sorts would be surely not enough. he was costing them money after all. “hm, i guess i should.” the older rapper replied shortly. “working out like this just helps me getting my mind of stuff, you know?” he didn’t expected haruto to relate to it, since all he seemed to see right now was an old trainee who didn’t know where his boundaries were. with a sigh, he put the bottle aside and carefully pushed himself up, before pressing his hand against the knee. seemed like the pain had subsided for now.

“anyways. thank you for your help. and sorry for keeping you from whatever you were about to do. hope i didn’t mess up your training schedule?”

maybe it wasn’t really his place to comment on the matter, but the teenager couldn’t  help it and felt as though it needed to be said. and he didn’t like seeing people hurt, it reminded him too much of all the injures he had gotten he had was skating and the constant pain and the fear that his injury was going to completely ruin his future and he would never be able to sakte again. being put out of comission could end up costing you your contract if it were serious enough, and haruto didn’t want that for anyone. some people were desperate to debut and having that all cut short because you weren’t careful when stretching and injured yourself was going to be completely heartbreaking. “i just...” he paused, thinking about how he wanted to word things, “don’t want to see you to get too badly hurt, is all.” 

rkxrm​:

the debut was an incredibly hard road to get to so being at this stage and debuting was an amazing feeling after the many many months of hardship that they had gone through. all the waiting had brought to this moment. almost four years after being signed and constantly being told that he wasn’t good enough, he was finally here. he was ready for the idol life and the careeer since he’d already been an actor before and he was ready for this challenge. 

now that they were busy with promotions, however, they were almost never around the company. so the moment he had a brief moment at the company, he was immediately on his phone texting all his friends making sure that they saw the news and that they were supporting him. Nothing less from his friends. Hearing a voice behind him, namjoon slowed down and grinned when the younger rapper joined his side. he blushed at being congratulated but grinned excitedly. “thank you haru-chan! maybe you’ll be joining us in a future unit??” he asked, grinning widely. “how about i treat you to lunch since we both a have a moment and we can celebrate!” 

eventually getting to debut was a dream a lot of people had. he knew jeongguk especially wanted a chance as did a lot of other trainees stuck in the rotation. but haruto was just not one of those people. he didn’t really care about debuting, he still wasn’t sure that he even wanted to. but that was not really a fact he shared with many people, fearing what they would think of him if they found out he didn’t care. they were working their assess of for a chance to stand on a stage and do what they loved, and haruto almost felt like an intruder. 

she can’t tell if she’s annoying him or not, but truthfully, sia did feel really guilty for hitting him regardless.  perhaps that’s why she’s overreacting like this; if only she had locked the door or paid attention or done something, she wouldn’t have hit him at all.  she wouldn’t have had to worry over him like this, question if he was lying to her  -  nothing like that.

there’s still a light frown on sia’s lips as she steps away from him, feeling a little worse now that she’s been brushed off completely.  " as long as you’re sure.“ she finally says, her hands falling to her sides.  eventually, she twists her fingers into the hem of her shirt, looking around the room and what a mess it has become.  it’s really not that bad, but it’s still enough that she feels like she had to apologize for the state of it.

” it looks bad, doesn’t it?“ sia says sheepishly, letting out a little laugh at his response.  ” i’m not usually this messy but i’ve been having a little bit of a block lately, and …“ she gestures around to the balled up papers on the floor.  ” i guess this is the outcome.“  biting the inside of her cheek, sia turns her attention back to haruto with the same sheepish smile.  ” are you sure? you don’t have to pretend in front of me.“  she finally says.  ” you can be moody if you want.  no one can be happy all the time ..“

he supposed getting smacked in the forehead with a bit of scrunched up paper was one way to get him out of his head. before stepping into the room he had been a little lost in his own thoughts there, so he supposed he should be thanking her for at least bringing him back into present day. not that he supposed he really wanted to admit that he had just been daydreaming about everything and not paying attention. 

“i’m definitely sure that i am definitely fine,” he reassured her just one more time, smiling to try and prove that it wasn’t that big of a deal. “it happens, so you don’t have to feel bad about it or anything,” he was pretty sure he had accidentally thrown something at someone coming through the door before in his life. but if not, he was sure it would probably happen eventually. it was just one of those things. 

@rkxrm

with everything that the members of nsg had gone through, haruto was honestly more than happy for them now that they could finally say they had debuted. it had been a long trip and he couldn’t really imagine what it must have been like to go through it and wonder if debut was ever going to happen in the first place. but they had made it and that had to mean something. and as the good younger trainee he was, he thought that it was only right that he went out of his way to congratulate them and wish them well for the no doubt tough journey of an idol which would come. 

jkookrk​:

in a way jeongguk can’t help but think it’s adorable that haruto is still so pure. somehow it makes him seem even younger than he is but the dancer waits for the guy to look away before he allows a smile to widen across his lips. the last he wants is for haruto to feel like he’s making fun of him or finding his lack of interest ridiculous or something.

“nothing wrong with that,” he quickly reassures the kid thus, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. “there’s never any rush with gathering experience or developing an interest in someone. you should always do what makes you most comfortable and never let anyone make you feel pressured into doing something you’re not ready for or interested in, okay?”

it’s potentially the most grown up advice he had ever given someone. if his hyungs saw him now, they’d be proud of him. “that’s the most important part. the rest is like you say. it’s not a big deal if you haven’t kissed anyone or not been interested.”

admittedly, even thinking about this sort of stuff was making him feel a little red in the face and uncomfortable. it probably wasn’t normal how little interest in the subject he actually had. weren’t normal teenagers supposed to be thinking about this stuff a lot at his age? maybe he was just the weird one, which honestly wasn’t very surprising to him, he’d always felt weird around other people. 

but then he heart jeongguk’s words, feeling just a little bit better as he looked up from the page of pictures he had been looking at. “there’s not?” it was a small comfort to hear that. he would have thought the older trainee would have laughed at him for it, called him childish and that he was just being silly. 

jiwoork​:

she didn’t give a lot of thought before randomly asking a stranger. in her head, it was a simple question that would solve the inconvenience that being torn between two songs was, but when she actually thinks about it, maybe the boy was right to check before giving his answer. for her, it was just about music, but some people could have weird ideas and you wouldn’t want to get involved. fair enough. 

“just songs…” she answers with a shrug, pursing her lips. “for evals. i don’t get this whole thing and i’m tired of looking for songs but also can’t decide between them, so i’m letting destiny decide. uh- by destiny i mean you.” only when she stops talking that jiwoo realizes he didn’t ask for details, but she told him anyways to give context or simply vent about what has been stressing her lately. 

“so… can you help me out?” she asks again, smiling, determined to get done with this as soon as possible and use her time actually learning one of the songs or preparing for s-pop. “or should i tell you my options instead?” maybe asking him to pick a hand was a little silly considering they were not kids, but if jiwoo could make the most ordinary thing a game, she wouldn’t miss the opportunity.

maybe he was being just a little silly for being so cautious about it, but he couldn’t help it. he was nervous around making decisions, especially surprise ones, and didn’t want to make the wrong one, so at least wanted to know what his decision might lead to. it might end up being something bad so he would end up feeling all terrible about it. though maybe he was just being a little bit paranoid about things, it couldn’t be that bad a thing if this girl was asking a random stranger like him to pick. 

but when she explained it was just for evals, haruto felt his shoulders relaxing just a little. not that bad, then. “oh,” he uttered, feeling just a little bit silly for feeling so suspicious about things in the first place. but at least he could relate with one thing she was saying, “i’m struggling with picking a song as well.” especially as he had found that his star sign traits didn’t sound like him in the slightest and all of the songs which would fit didn’t really feel good to do. the whole thing was just a complete struggle. 

rkgray​:

gray had suffered enough sports injury to tell that this was nothing too serious. it wouldn’t require him to have a surgery like he had before, though that didn’t necessarily meant that he wasn’t in pain either. just resting his leg like this would do the thing, but he was sure it probably looked more serious than it actually was. haruto coming to his aid, was like a saviour to him during dark hours. he was glad the other brough him the water bottle first, before asking about what happened.

receiving the bottle with both hands, he pressed it against his sour knee. it’s cooling contents helped to ease the pain a little and he let out a short sigh, before he mustered the other. “thank you, haruto. you helped me a lot. i’ve been a little…” he paused for a moment. the younger trainee probably felt similiar about their current company situation and would maybe be able to relate to what had drove him to go beyond his physical bonds. “i’ve been a little careless, when practicing my highkicks.” the older man explained, while gesturing towards the sandbags dangling from the ceiling. “i just wanted to do something else, than dancing.”

shrugging his shoulders, he opened his bottle and took a big gulp of water. he felt better now.

injuries of any sort just weren’t much fun to deal with, or to witness. haruto had been injured enough times in his youth to know what it was like. the times he had sprained his ankle doing his skating or broken his arm after one particular fall. not to even mention the countless bruises he was often covered in after falling over. not so much these days, however. training had just taken up too much of his time that he didn’t have the time to do his skating anymore, and haruto would be lying if he said he didn’t miss it. 

this eval was going to be tough, haruto knew that from the start. 

ianrk​:

“mm,” he hummed in agreement, recalling plenty of arguably fond memories of his kind but ornery grandfather lecturing him in a language he still barely understood, and only in bits and pieces, which often resulted in lighthearted arguments between the patriarchs of the family, his father insisting he could lecture his own son, thank you very much, ian himself admitting out loud for the whole family that his father had done very little in the way of teaching him any cantonese back home, “my french is okay,” he added with an air of hopefulness and a chuckle, “a lotta good that’ll do me here.”

ian nodded, feeling less and less guilty with every moment spent in haruto’s presence. there was something comforting about training alongside another international transplant, and knowing that, even though they came from significantly different origins, they had easily found some commonality and camaraderie in being outsiders.

“your korean is really good,” he complimented, with all the authority of someone who had very little knowledge of whether or not someone’s korean was actually any good. but he could understand haruto, and haruto seemed less at odds with the language than ian was, which was the only basis ian had to judge on. 

“ah,” he laughed, smile relatable and unbridled, haruto’s admission somehow reassuring, despite it being seemingly the opposite, “i don’t feel as bad then. we should share our locations, so we’ll always know where to find each other at least. ‘where’s ian?’“ he mimed, lowering his voice into a comically gruff version of a nameless, faceless staff member, as he turned to haruto, “‘i don’t know, let’s ask haruto.’“

it would have been really useful if he had actually known some korean before moving, but he didn’t. all he could manage to say upon touchdown in seoul was hello and goodbye and thank you. pretty basic stuff and whie he mother could speak just a little more after dating daehan for some time, it was not really enough to get about day to day life without struggling. and now, haruto was actually better than his mother when it came to speaking korean, but that was probably because of the lessons he had been forced through at school and by the language teacher at kt once he had been signed. and even now he was not a big fan of that. “i don’t know any french,” why would he have any reason to know french? “japanese and korean, that’s my limit.” 

though he did suddenly get a little red in the face when his korean was complimented. “no it’s not,” he was rather quick to set the records shake with a shake of his head, “it’s all over the place.” he couldn’t hold a candle up to anyone who had actually put in the proper effort to learn and paid attention in classes. compared them he was still incredibly weak, but he was good enough to have basic conversations and sing and rap, so he supposed that was all that really mattered in the end. 

* this or that.

@rkharuto

as a good libra, she was stuck between two songs for the evaluations this month. in her eyes, both seemed to fit some of the traits she found on this astrology website, but she couldn’t decide which one she liked the most. trying to make her mind up, she strolls around seocho complex listening to her two options, too absorbed in her own world to care if her rapping was good enough for her to showcase it aloud like this or not. 

maybe this whole thing is starting to bore her, because the girl suddenly stops in her tracks, takes a seat, finds her favorite glitter pen in her backpack and writes the songs in her hands. at first, she doesn’t know what she’s planning with it, but if she could make it a game of some sorts, it would be easier to figure out and her brain would be fine since thinking wasn’t really her thing. 

she decides to approach the first person she sees, but since the first looks like a coach she wasn’t familiar with, jiwoo goes with the second – a tall and seemingly young trainee. “hi! do you have a minute?” she asks with her bright smile before shaking her head. “ah, i’m not trying to sell you anything, i just need your help.” jiwoo chuckles. there was a chance she sounded crazy, but it doesn’t really bother her. “it’s easy! right or left hand?” she asks.

haruto was just a little bit at a loss for this eval. not only was he finding out that there were not that many aries out there, meaning that he was going to have to do this by himself, he was struggling to find a song he liked. he didn’t really know much about zodiac stuff, mostly deciding that it was all rubbish and made up in the first place. even more so after his short amount of research into what aries were supposed to be like. passionate, motivated a confident leader? that did not sound like him. at all. 

while there were a lot of songs out there which could fit that description, a lot of them were big group songs. which was out of the question when you were going ahead solo. and then the rest of them wasn’t really something he was comfortable performing and didn’t think he could pull it off very well. so, the trainee was feeling just a little at a loss about the whole thing, hopeing that maybe inspiration would simply strike eventually and he wouldn’t end up on eval day with absolutely nothing to perform. 

rklnaeun​:

there was so many thoughts in her head when she was in a situation like this, she was over twenty years old and she shoudln’t have this habit anymore. there was honestly many different thoughts in her head. naeun wanted to make a good impression on the other trainees but she had continued to make a fool out of herself on so many different occations.

it was awwkard being a trainee.

she was awkward.

and this situation was incredibly awkward for her.

“ah i see,” she nods to herself, making her a mental note on what to call him in the future, just haruto – naeu looks at him with wide eyes as he asks how to adress her and she wonders for a moment. her brain felt like a mess.

“ –, ” her brain had frozen for a moment, “ naeun, you can just call me naeun.”

maybe it would just be better all around if he made up some excuse to get out of this conversation before it became any more awkward and weird for the two of them. and he did have to wonder what someone watching this disaster unfold would actually think. two nervous people having a nervous conversion which was heading more towards being a train-wreck the further on the conversation went. 

“naeun,” he repeated, trying to a smile though he wasn’t too sure how well it was actually coming across right then, “that’s a nice name.” complimenting her was probably a good idea, maybe it would make feel better about things and help this conversation from being as awkward as it currently was. 

rksihyeon​:

“ are you sure?” sia asks him with worry as he brushes off her concerns.  it’s true that it was just a balled up sheet of paper, but the fact that she hit him with it at all still makes her in the wrong.  she should have watched what she was doing; perhaps she shouldn’t have thrown it at all.  it’s the things that happen when one doesn’t pay attention that they end up regretting the most.

sliding back in her seat, she immediately gets up to walk over to the younger boy and to give his forehead a once over just to be sure there weren’t any cuts left by the paper  -  or worse, that she hadn’t actually hit him in the eye.  " i’m really sorry.“ sia mumbles finally once more, stepping back from him with the apology practically written in a formal letter on her expression.  ” i’m glad that you’re not hurt, though.“

she turns her head back to the room, a little messy from her papers and books strewn about as she was working on studying music theory  -  with her lip jutted out in thought, sia sighs.  ” it’s a bit of a mess in here, but you’re welcome to work with me if you’d like.“  she finally says, finding her voice to be a chipper one even in spite of the mishap.  ” i’d welcome the company and it .. looks like you’re a little lost or down about something.  are you okay?“

being accidentally hit in the forehead with a bit of scrunched up paper really wasn’t that big of a deal or the end of the world. so haruto didn’t really see why she was worrying so much about it like he was hiding the fact he was seriously hurt. it was just paper, not like he had been smacked in the head with a rock of a football or something. 

“yeah, i’m sure,” he repeated with a nod of his head, trying to quick bush off when she actually stood up to give his forehead a once over. haruto was quite sure that if he was bleeding or something he would have noticed by now. “really, it’s fine,” he hadn’t been lying about that and would simply much prefer if they moved on from this already. “it’s not that big a deal or anything so you don’t have to be sorry.”

ianrk​:

[ --- ]

he added, for good measure, and as an ice-breaking moment of humor “not even my grandparents.” it was true: they would prefer his cantonese be better than it was, rarely slowing down for him when he visited, expecting him to catch on instantly, despite his lack of experience with the language.

“only if you want to,” he assured quickly and easily, just to make sure he wasn’t burdening or imposing upon haruto in any way. but the younger male agreed, and ian smiled, giving him another small bow before turning to walk alongside him.

“thank you. hopefully i’ll have the whole building memorized soon, and then i won’t have to bother you anymore,” he chuckled lightheartedly, tossing his hair out of his eyes and then, when that proved ineffective reaching up to push it back haphazardly.

“how long did it take you? to stop getting lost, i mean.”

being a foreigner in a different country was just a hard experience all around. the constant struggle to get to where you wanted without getting lost, unable to talk to anyone properly at first, and struggling to understand what was going on. haruto really didn’t miss that first couple of months when he had first moved to seoul and didn’t know any korean what so ever outside saying hello and goodbye. just leaving the house had been the most stressful experience in his life and for the first couple of weeks he refused to go outside if his mother didn’t come along as well - as if she was any better at the language than he was. 

thankfully, those days were long gone now and he could actually get out and about and get the subway and the bus by himself without having a huge meltdown over it. though, sometimes, the subway system did confuse him, especially if he stopped paying attention and missed his stop and ended up somewhere he didn’t know. though, he supposed it was about the same for everyone else as well and he wasn’t the only one who struggled with directions and getting their way around a huge city. even back on tokyo he had some issues and had gotten lost on more than one occasion. 

“people just don’t get how hard it is,” he was speaking from experience in this. while he had been lucky to find people who were happy to help and even spoke japanese as well to help him feel comfortable, there were plenty of people who just didn’t get it. even after explaining he was a foreigner and didn’t speak the language very well they would still speak a mile and minute and just assume he was keeping up with them. 

“it does get better,” he added as a sort of comfort and a small smile, “it just... takes time.” different amounts of time depending on how well you picked things up and how dedicated you were. and, in haruto’s case, he mostly refused to learn properly at first, so learning how to talk properly actually took more time than it probably should.