A Guide For the Caring of a Minotaur
1 Punishment based reinforcment does not work on him. His ability to absorb pain is beyond your ability to inflict it and if you take something off him he'll break things until he gets it back.
2 If you try to keep him in the enclosure he'll rip a locked door off the hinges. Honestly he doesn't even want to leave. He just likes walking around. If he tries to go somewhere he'll make a mess tell him that, if he refuses to leave call me.
3 If you don't want him to do something make it sound boring. (Thanks to Carol in the company childcare centre for that one)
4 Feed him the same times every day. Think of it like a cat, if a cat was three meters tall and weighed 400 kilos. If you miss feeding time he'll let you know. 4a Feeding him early will not change the fact he'll want food at feeding time.
5 He doesn't have a name. One of the researchers called him 'biggun' accidentally once and he seems to respond to it.
6 If he gets bored let him chase something. Animal, stuff on the end of a string, drone. He just likes chasing. We once kept him busy for four hours with an RC car. RIP RC car, your inabilty to corner got you stomped.
7 If you need to do any tests on him give him a puzzle book. If he is doing a puzzle he literally does not care what else is going on. He likes mazes best. Go figure.
8 Give him something to gnaw on. This is the default solution to all mood related problems. In the maze it was human bone, but pork or mutton will work just fine.
9 Don't change things in his enclosure. If something wears out let me know and I'll replace it. Replacement is delicate process.
10 He likes people, he knows about hugging. If he tries to hug you shout 'NO' as loud as you can so he remembers he's not allowed to hug.
11 He can't SPEAK English. That doesn't mean he can't UNDERSTAND it. He is not as stupid as you all seem to think. He knows when he's being talked about and his hearing is quite good. 11a his feelings can be hurt. If you make him sulky its your job to cheer him back up.
12 If he thinks you're mad at him he'll get upset and try to fix things. So unless you want a raw mutton haunch on your desk watch your tone.
13 Yes I do really need a food budget that high. Remember that we have to interact with him and he used to eat people.
14 If you don't keep up with filing down his horns he'll grind them down on the wall. Josh in maintenance suggested a belt sander. Apparently it feels nice.
15 Don't play music around him. Not becsuse it upsets him. He just sings along really loudly if he likes the song. You would think lacking the ability to form words with his mouth would dissuade him. You would think wrong.
16 If you ask him to he will bend/break things in his hands for your amusement. He'll also lift and carry heavy things for you. He seems to enjoy it and he’s cheaper than a forklift so I'm calling it enrichment.
17 I don't know who left an energy drink outside the enclosure but I just dealt with a minotaur with a caffeine headache and I need to remind you DO NOT LEAVE FOOD OR DRINKS WHERE HE MIGHT SEE THEM. HE IS NATURALLY CURIOUS ABOUT ANYTHING HE CAN CONSIME. Thank god he doesn’t know what fridges are for.
18 His skin can only be pierced by a legendary blade. We only have one legendary blade, so don't lose it or we can't ever draw blood again.
19 Ignore Haywood's conclusions on minotaur behaviour. Biggun just hates him specifically.
20 Yes the minotaur sleeps with a night light. He was under ground in the dark for a long time. Have some fucking compassion.
















