we are here

sarang und fishtanks

I am acutely aware of the persistant continuity that occurs as I go about my day. The passing hours carry a weight, subtle but still percievable. It's almost as if there's a clock and it goes tick tick tick.

When we're blind deaf and lame we'll know light sound and cognition Oh Just gotta overcome the friction

If one so chooses, and feels it shall benefit not only that indiidual but perhaps all of the other individuals entangled in that individuals life, then one could spend a morning reading in the sun and an afternoon studying to their hearts content. It's a choice. That seems so obvious it shouldn't need elaboration but this individual feels the need to disect that simple choice and it's implications. If one so chooses, one could stay in bed all day. One could also walk in front of a bus. Choices are sometimes made in an instant, and sometimes after deliberation of some sort. (Forgive my lack of formal educatiojn relating to the functioning of individuals in society) It is this individuals belief, based on first-hand experience and much consideration that all choices are in fact made in an instant. As soon as you have come to a place where you have a choice (which is every instant ever), that choice has already been made. From some standpoints this could sound a lot like fate, or a greater plan whether malevolent or benign but to me it should represent the view that the individual in accordance and co-operation with the intelligble universe that they live in has already decided the outcome of that choice. That doesn't necessarily mean that the individual or any other influence has already made the choice. It simply means that as soon as the opportunity arises the outcome has been determined. The choice the individual has is whether or not they are capable of realizing that outcome. If they have enough information availble from their personal intelligible universes to continue with the outcome or to vary it by making more choices where the outcomes have already been determined. The choice is the other half. It takes a natural universal outcome and an individual to determine the course of their own and all the individuals they're entagled with's lives. So what will be will be, if you will it to be. If not, then who knows.

I'm gonna say this once, and I'm not gonna say it again. We are beast, Beast are we. More or less. Listen, if you stop and just observe the life around you it'll become clear that we are all communicable, sentient, productive, relatable functioning beings. If I could share useless memories of mornings spent watching a family of birds protecting it's nest, or an odd pair of squirrels cuddle in the trees then you'd understand the intricacies of their communication apart from verbal language. The ability to use our bodies for the communication of complex ideas to the degree of efficiencyy of 'wild' creatures seems to have been lost somewhere. The stars and planets and moons and rocks and dirt all have frequencies. Let's call these low frequencies. They shift and change at a gradual pace. Their canvas is blank space and their spectacular display is the window through which we create our experience. The plants and bugs and animals and humans also have frequencies. These, however, shift and change at a much more erratic pace. They can be called high frequencies. These entities change and shift according to how the low frequencies change and shift. Since they move a lot faster in their changes (maybe in decades rather than eons) they can interact on a much more intimate level. What I mean is that if you sat in front of a star and just watched it for a while hoping to learn something, you'd probably just get incinerated. But if you sit in front of a creature that you cannot communicate with verbally that is strange to you (i.e. wild animal) and watch, and wait, I promise you that it will teach you something very important.

Personal responses to uncomfortable situations. "People do weird things, I trust you" Or "People may do weird things but I don't trust you, let's talk about it." Carry on.

I was sitting outside the other night, reading about someone's ideas on reason and imagination when a seed/fluff thing floated my way. It arched and twirled in the air in some complex pattern only a natural breeze could produce then it settled underneath the chair on the deck next to mine. When it suddenly decided to blow away, without a breeze I might add, I reasonably asked it 'stay, don't go. I was enjoying the company'. The fluff preceded to arch and float and return to it's original position on the deck.

I read things that say all prophets are offered a choice upon their hour of death. They are given a choice by 'God' to either remain in this mortal place or to leave these flesh shackles for the 'kingdom of god'. Now I believe there are no prophets, excepting that you and I and all that calls itself human were to be prophets. Either we all are, or none of us are. My belief. And so, believing this I would not wish to pre-occupy myself with desires to leave for I also believe that while we are all offered this 'choice' only very few would choose to stay. I also believe that an even fewer number has no 'choice' but will always choose to stay. There is much to be done here, though not all things are worth doing. That is not to say that death is inescapable. None can escape the limits of electrochemical meat sacks. Upon this meatsack-termination we are offered the choice. To remain here, wtih the birds and rocks or to enter into 'the void where all is known so that none within know pain'. And believing this helps me to see that even though I could choose to speak, I would rather enjoy my meatsack while I have it. One day I will be in another. Or maybe I won't. Nobody really knows what goes on, but all conjecture about it points in the same direction. We are toolmakers and caretakers. Our destiny is among the stars. We lack only True Unity. An idea is a tool that can neither be created or destroyed. Ideas are eternal.

biology builds you, it is the basis on which you are formed, it is the raw material with which you will shape your reality. biology built within you expansive individual capacities. within the capacity of choice biology even built in capacities to change your biology. everything may be chosen and everything is inevitable. you must choose how you will live. you did not choose (presumably) the biology you inhabit but it is an inextricable part of you. it is yours to choose with as you see fit. maybe next time around you can be a sea slug or something, but right now you are (presumably) a human being. Do not be afraid of the expansive individual capacites that biology built for you. Know the reality of your experiences to know what you are capable of choosing to do about those experiences.

even solid rock experiences what you say to it. it is physically bound to this reality as are your vocal cords. when one vibrates so does the other. you can shout and scream all day at solid rock, you can punch and kick it, you can even break it down into little pieces but all it is capable of responding with is 'yep, i am solid rock'. Choose to listen to what is said (even if you don't like how it is said) and then choose for yourself what you will believe. Rocks are not capable of belief or choice but you (an entity that is reading this post) are capable of these things.

the almost-memories sing to you. melodies slipping out of the marrow. your muscles and nerves are set to fire by the never-known-but-always-there rhythms your ancestors beat into their bones. they did this for you and you alone. each individual is the sum of the lives that led to the existence of that individual. (each individual is not bound by their subsistence, but built upon it) these things may be indecipherable as they were lived in an ancient and likely unknowable language. listen well to these unknowables for they are the foundation you build yourself upon.

I intentionally didn't put my laundry away. See the shit flying through the air? See the operating fan that the shit is headed for? Don't need too many brain cells to put that euphemism together.

'put it on the back burner'. how many 'back burners' do most people have? not on the stove. like the expression that means 'to think about it at the back of your mind'. like 'sleep on it' but without the sleeping.

idk though. if i hadnt got up when the raven came by, to poke my head out and bark at the moon together briefly, then miss Lucky wouldnt have come back to the table and i wouldnt have gotten to mush her sweet little face. so i guess its not about waiting for roadsigns or goldenwingships to sail my way, but about being aware that there are no roadsigns or goldenwingships. just rocks and birds and people.

fuck ecclesiastical sex oppressionists. they probably need it.

faire. être. suivre.