i fake it a lot, too.

under the cut are links to things like info dumps for various au verses and headcanons / metas           basically details that wouldn’t be found on the main bio / verse pages that could be useful for plotting purposes & all that good stuff, all organized here! this post will be continuously updated as i get more posts up, and i’ll keep it pinned for easier access. in addition to this, you can find river’s interest tracker linked here, and a permanent starter call here.

❝ i get the sense that you do nothing without sincerity. ❞

it was a refreshing change to speak with someone who seemed to have such a warm demeanor and a genuine authenticity. many of the Ton rarely spoke their true feelings or their true thoughts for fear of how they might be perceived for one small mistake could set off litanies of gossip that one could never recover from. 

she always prepared herself to converse nothing aside from the weather, the latest fashions at the modiste, and whether one enjoyed promenading at hyde park since such topics were usually the only ones that seemed to matter but this conversation was far more invigorating than small talk. 

❝ i can only hope that i share your same virtue of sincerity for i find that sometimes i must be anyone other than myself. ❞

if her assessment was true           ( which, objectively, it was ), it was simply because river felt some compulsion to make up for all the insincerity that was so normalized in the majority of their society. he was probably a bit inordinately frustrated — at least comparatively so — at all the theatrics and facades that so many people seemed to feel compelled to put on. for someone who craved honesty and sincerity and for people to just be up front with him ... to say it could all feel a bit overwhelming was likely an understatement.

❝ less to see and less to hear. ❞

it’s a quiet agreement that falls from her lips but an agreement nonetheless which is rare for the young woman. she prefers merely to listen and to keep her own counsel for few others have ever been able to understand the person that she has become. 

❝ people expect less of those who keep to the shadows. and i find the daylight to be exhausting. ❞

in the sunlight, one’s fears were far too visible to the eye. 

           ❛ 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐓, if ever to discover the root of a problem, attempt to take a look at the full painting, instead of one section. My connections are integral part, you see. I happen to also be friends with a number of lovely women that frequent certain dens of iniquity you may or may not be familiar with –– I am far from one to judge. in any case, they also, provide very valuable information. ❜ She gave a sly smirk, lifting her fan so that it could be seen as simple FLIRTATION by any onlookers, the pale pink feathers shielding Daphne well. ❛ I would be more than honored to receive your help! I always welcome different opinions, when they are helpful. The number of times a sister of mine has offered me nothing but negativity when blocked on a ‘case’ would alarm you if I were to mention it. ❜

❛ Well, you see –– I have it some GREAT AUTHORITY that the queen’s chambermaid has overheard –– ❜ at this, Daphne’s voice dipped, lowering, ❛ ––of the queen’s attempts to find Lady Whistledown. I say attempts of course, because they haven’t been the least successful, from what I hear. If I, however, were to find out the identity of the mysterious Whistledown, and were to thus receive the blessing henceforth of the Queen as a SLEUTH… well I suppose you can imagine what that mean for me, Mr. Barkley. ❜

"dens of iniquity?”           river’s brows raised with amused incredulity, exhaling a short chuckle at the implication. “unfortunately, i cannot help you there,” he concluded with emphatic definitiveness, though even if he could have been, his disarming smile would have betrayed it           and he knew better than to be admitting to anything of the sort in public, anyways. “but i will most happily offer my opinions in hopes that they may be helpful,” he compromised, though perhaps more to humor her than to at all boast his own skills at intel gathering; to say they were considerably lacking would even be a bit of an understatement, though that was quite largely just for a simple lack of trying. 

          Hope couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up in her chest, and she pressed a swift kiss to his cheek. “I think that’s one thing that you and I can definitely agree on. You couldn’t be a jerk to anyone if you tried, River Barkley.” It was certainly in his DNA, judging by the way his family was, but he broke the cycle when it came to that sort of thing. She couldn’t imagine him even pretending to act that way. That sort of moral integrity was rare, both in the real world and even in her own family. Hope herself struggled with it from time to time, even though she tried to be better, challenged herself by giving herself mental points for doing the right thing. Even though morality didn’t exactly work that way, but it was how a younger her coped with some of the less than positive things that her family was known for. “But I’m still grateful that you agreed. I half-considered going to the stoner pit and seeing who was willing to agree, but I think that might have gone over in the worst possible way,” she said with a half-grin. In truth, she couldn’t imagine anyone other than River filling the position of “fake boyfriend”, not simply because he was a nice guy, but because he actually felt compatible with her in a way that most other men didn’t. It wasn’t about him being nice or good, but rather the fact that he seemed to see her in a way that others couldn’t be bothered to do. “You’re a good man. It has nothing to do with your family or your wealth, and everything to do with who you are here,” she murmured, pressing her hand flat against his chest, right over his heart.

❝ there’s always something to do around new york, i’ll say that much at least. ❞

there had certainly never been a dull moment in her life and she’d always thought that she fit exceptionally well within the chaotic tapestry of the city given her own spontaneous and vivacious nature.

❝ that sounds like a dream. i mean, i’m a city girl at heart but even i have to admit that we don’t have the best beaches anywhere near here.  ❞

it’s an unabashed admittance followed by a sheepish smile as she tries to conjure up the image within her mind of the coast that he so eloquently describes. 

❝ i’ll have to get over to the west coast some day to see it for myself!  ❞

river’s intrigue about the opposite coast was one he largely kept to himself.           he knew that if his parents had any say about it ( which they certainly did ), there would be no straying from the path that would largely not take him out of california, at least not with any permanence. he’d tempted himself before by checking out websites for college on the east coast, particularly those in new york city, but he tried not to let any of his daydreams become too vivid.

             ‘  well  you  see  ,   i’m  entirely  capable  -  ’   and  it’s  not  that  betty  is  insecure  in  her  capabilities  ,   but  she’s  SMART  -  she  knows  that  a  one  woman  team  is  fine  ,   but  she  more  prefers  having  partners  .     ‘  i  need  a  partner  in  crime !  just  someone  who  can  stay  up  late  with  me  to  research  ,   write  things  up  ,   help  me  with  the  newspapers  -  ’   it  would  mean  breaking  into  her  mom’s  building  .   it  wouldn’t  be  the  first  time  .    ‘  like  i  said  ,   no one  would  know  besides  the  two  of  us  .   i  just  -  i  need  people  to  stop  looking  at  and  for  jughead  .   he  doesn’t  deserve  the  whole  town  hating  him  ,   not  when  the  majority  of  them  already  dislike  him  .  ’   she  needs  to  get  attention  off  of  him  so  she  can  get  in  .  

she doesn’t intend for her words to have such a poisonous undertone but there is no denying that they carry a sharpness regardless of her intention. she has far bigger fish to fry yet it’s difficult for her to fathom why, out of anyone in the student body, river feels the need to become chummy with payton. sure, tutoring was one thing but he’d never even seemed irritated or dismayed that he had to spend so much time with someone that she had loathed since she had been old enough to do long division. 

❝ its for your resume. its kind of irrelevant whether you’d do a good job or not since it’ll go on your resume either way. ❞ 

why did he care so much? he’s always been far more attached to the well-being of other people than she has and its this knowledge that compels her to chime in a few words of reassurance,

❝ you’ll do an amazing job. i know it. ❞ 

she doesn’t feel the need to list her reasons for offering such an affirmative statement. her certainty should be more than enough to put him at ease, shouldn’t it? she shrugs, far too much in her own thoughts to notice the change in her boyfriend’s demeanor, as she twirls a thin curl of blonde hair around her index finger. 

❝ you’re worrying way too much. i really don’t think it’s that deep, river. you run, you win and then you’re student body president. that’s all there is to it. ❞ 

river couldn’t, for the life of him,           understand why she was so unwilling to budge on this. he didn’t want to do it. why wasn’t that enough to shut the whole thing down? surely no one would want a class president whose heart wasn’t in the job. granted, given his nature, should he win river would undoubtedly perform his duties with empathy and genuine concern and all the things that would surely make up an ideal leader. but that would be because he’d ( yet again ) have been put in a position where he could either serve people well, or completely disappoint them. he’d been raised to never see the latter as an option.

 there’s something about river’s laugh that josie can’t help but appreciate.  it wasn’t often that they got to hang like this, so weightless for a precios evening.  they were both often so quiet and serene that fooling around like this was welcomed to ease their minds.  she wasn’t ignorant to the way this playful banter wasn’t exactly a part of river’s household and the feeling of knowing he felt comfortable enough around her to just play along warmed her chest with unmeasured joy.  “ you know it, so good to see you can tell an authority figure when you see it.”  she puffs out her chest, resting both hands in her waist in mock command.  “ besides, they’d look so cute, now i just want to see you wearing them.”

        she  can  only  smile  in  agreement,  knowing  full   well  that  it  was  true.   the  season’s  incomparable  could  have  been  anybody,  but  everyone  in  the  ton  knew  that  daphne  would  be  a  strong  candidate.   francesca  could  only  hope  that  everyone  wouldn’t  think  she  was  such  a  disappointment  once  she  had  to  come  before  the  queen.   ❝  if  only  our  family’s  confidence  was  enough  to  help  us  find  a  good  match  in  london.  ❞

❝ perhaps but i often wonder if those are skills i possess because of my own natural merit or because they are required in the eyes of society. ❞

did she have anything that was truly her own or were all her talents a mere product of the life that she had been raised for? no doubt she could ask her sister such a question and she would have a most salient answer but daphne had no desire to introspectively examine her life. she was the eldest daughter of the bridgerton family and she had a responsibility to secure a good marriage match for the sake of her family, her younger sisters and herself. 

❝ it is the world we live in. ❞

it would be improper for her to begin a tirade of all the frustrations with the Ton that has built up within her since the beginning of her first season. 

❝ you are fortunate that you were born a man. ❞

“ it’s really important to me that all of you know that your lives have value. that they’re important. that you’re important. ”

                 his words hit her like a truck. ( it’s not his fault, she reminds herself. he doesn’t know. he couldn’t know. in fact, most people who regularly come into contact with cathy don’t know. she doesn’t like talking about it, the way she spectacularly ruined her personal life. ) there’s a tension in her shoulders that doesn’t drop until she’s got a hand on the front door to her cafe, and after allowing him to step in first, she nods.

                 ❛trying to work, ❜she starts first, giving small things.❛ i don’t know if you know this, but i’m not the only broadway hopeful living in new york city. ❜it’s phrased as a joke, and cathy chuckles, hands smoothing down her jacket as she motions for him to take a seat at the bar. ❛in the meantime, i sew – repairs, costume design, commissions. things to keep me afloat. and, well, ❜she pauses, tugging an apron over her head,❛ this, too. the glamorous life of a working actress.❜

river felt a bit sheepish given the way she responded,           but he supposed it was better that way than to have made any assumptions in the first place, whether or not they would have been accurate aside. after all, as far as he knew, the stereotypical picture of the starving artist picking up odd jobs to make ends meet could have been just that. god forbid he’d assumed her life was in any way similar to that and it hadn’t been the case.

❝ yep!  i was born in albany but we moved to new york city when i was a toddler so i like to think i’m a new yorker born and bred. ❞

 anything and everything that had happened in her life of even the smallest degree of importance had happened in the city so it was as good a home as one could have as far as she was concerned. it was impossible to imagine living anywhere that was devoid of bustling city streets and towering skyscrapers. 

❝ is california like the movies? you know, with the big palm trees, the sandy beaches and that giant hollywood sign? ❞