riss

The Adirondacks

« objects in the mirror » I don’t illustrate that much anymore but I’m pretty pleased with this.

Barford Park, Somerset

I loved the way you used to make me feel.

I loved your laugh and your smile.

I loved your creativity and passion.

I loved you, you were my everything.

I hate how you make me feel.

I hate how broken and lonely you left me.

I hate how you tossed me aside.

I hate how you made me feel guilty.

I hate your toxic mind and behavior.

I hate how you ruined our best memories.

I hate how I gave you my everything.

I hate how I was so blind.

I hate how I thought you were my friend.

I hate how I thought you were my partner.

I hate how I thought we could go back.

I hate that I will never see you again.

I hate that it didn't work out.

I hate that you didn't try.

I hate that I tried so hard.

I hate that I neglected myself.

I hate how I can't let go.

I hate this addiction for you.

I hate everything you did to me.

So why don't I hate you?

But all good things in my life always come to an end

Cause I was foolish to think you could still love me with all the heartache and grief clouding your vision; wild and out of control, I remember holding you as you sobbed into my lap with the same fervor that you had once proclaimed your love to me to be - I can recall piecing back together the shattered parts of your heart while ignoring my own, carefully gluing it into place while mine remained scattered across the floor like eggshells to be wary of

And everything I love ends up being ripped away from me

There was once a time I thought I was your everything, that you would protect me from the darker parts of myself; broken and hollow, I would pick at the parts of myself that had begun to unravel and you feigned ignorance at my tears - had finally realized that no matter how much I loved, it would never be enough to clear your vision and see me exactly how I am

You were blind from the moment we met

A mosaic created by cruel deities praying just to see me in pain and suffering; defeated and lost hope, I'd give anything just to feel an ounce of warmth in your embrace, kill to feel the same love you once had for me - would bring the world to its knees to have you love me for who I am versus the vision of me that you created in your mind