Riley Kim

Because alerting the carnivores to your location, wearing inappropriate footwear, is definitely not asking for a Darwin Award.

It's okay, I've got plot armor. I'm basically the main character, I can't die.

Riley, you would be the guy in the outhouse.

What do you mean?!? That's so uncalled for. You wound me. Everyone knows I'd be the lady running with a flare in stilettos.

It pains me to ask you this as a self-respecting palaeontologist - but have you ever watched Jurassic Park?

Hmmm... I do vaguely remember the T. Rex eating that guy in the outhouse. What a way to go.

...WHICH IS NOT THE POINT. It took over thirty-thousand years (conservatively) for the terrestrial dinosaurs to go extinct after impact. Some dinos in the wrong place at the wrong time may have been squashed or flambéed, but most died off as the result of massive global cooling from the dust kicked up by the asteroid impact. The mean global temperature may have been below freezing for around three years as its coolest. That's not good for cold blooded creatures that can't freeze solid and live to tell the tale.

Riiiight... okay. So you're saying we should buy them Arcteryx jackets instead of fridges? I heard those jackets are really warm.

You know, this started out as a joke because I do have a sense of humour. But you think dinosaurs died because they got squashed?

I mean that and like... fire? From the meteor? How else would they have died? Some ancient dinosaur disease?!?

I - okay. You know fridges make things colder and that was kind of a problem for dinosaurs, right?

Hold up, I thought the dinosaurs died because of a meteor. Like WABAM 🔥 Mass extinction, no more dinos.

P.S. the dinosaurs are in the office, we do actually need room for perishables.

Too bad dinosaurs didn't have fridges 5 gazillion years ago, maybe then they wouldn't have perished.

classiest man there ever was